Custody Letter

[Unregistered]

I'm a member, but logged out for privacy.

I have a past-dcd who is asking for a letter to support him in obtaining custody of the child. What is your advice? Thanks.

[daycare]

I'm a member, but logged out for privacy.

I have a past-dcd who is asking for a letter to support him in obtaining custody of the child. What is your advice? Thanks.

what exactly is he asking you to write?

I have done this before and I only discussed pure facts. Nothing else. I did not know the father, my relationship was with the mother.

[BrooklynM]

I personally would only state facts. I wouldn't make any "recommedation". For example, John Smith from the interaction that I have had with him seems to be a very caring father. His son always comes to daycare clean, fed and well taken care of. His son responds positively to him when he picks him up at the end of the day...

Things like that...

[Blackcat31]

I would not get involved.

There would be no way for you to "know" anything about the parenting skills or lack of skills outside of child care.

You witnessed drop offs and pick ups.

I don't see how providers would be witness to anything else.

[daycare]

I would also proceed with caution..

the only reason that I did help was becasue the father was trying to pull an ugly stunt and I could not stand by and not help the mother.

Like stated, if you feel you are in a situation like that, I would only present the facts.

like Johnny has been in my care for 4 years. While under my care he is a mild mannered young boy.

Our daycare contract is with Mother who participate in daily drop off and pick up. SInce enrolling with my childcare, father has never participated in dropping off or picking up Johnny.

etc etc etc

[nannyde]

Tell him it is the policy of the child care to charge 250 dollars an hour for any legal documentation. Tell him it will take you two hours to create and write this. Tell him you also charge this rate for any deposition or court appearance.

Payment must be made in advance with a minimum of four hours for any court appearance.

Don't sweat it until you get paid for it. Attach money and it will go away.

[Cat Herder]

Danger Will Robinson.....

Attendance Records (on his time only)
Payment Statement (that he paid)
Boo Boo Reports/Daily Sheets (on his time, only)

Anything else I'd stay out of without a court order.

Remember the case of the Dad who held the provider at knifepoint, then took the kid on a high speed chase... BC, Wasn't that last year??

[KidGrind]

I would not get involved.

There would be no way for you to "know" anything about the parenting skills or lack of skills outside of child care.

You witnessed drop offs and pick ups.

I don't see how providers would be witness to anything else.

Exactly. Any parent can act & pretend to be the father or mother of the year during drop offs and pick ups.

[sleepinghart]

I'm a member, but logged out for privacy.

I have a past-dcd who is asking for a letter to support him in obtaining custody of the child. What is your advice? Thanks.

~I take it he is planning on taking/using this paper in court:confused:? I'm pretty sure in most states in the US a letter will not do Dad any good anyway. They(letters)cannot be admitted as evidence because letters can't be cross-examined. If you'd like, you can post your state, and I'll double check for you. ..But even if the letter would be of use I myself most likely would not write one because in most, if not all, cases I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. lovethislovethis

[Blackcat31]

~I take it he is planning on taking/using this paper in court:confused:? I'm pretty sure in most states in the US a letter will not do Dad any good anyway. They(letters)cannot be admitted as evidence because letters can't be cross-examined. If you'd like, you can post your state, and I'll double check for you. ..But even if the letter would be of use I myself most likely would not write one because in most, if not all, cases I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. lovethislovethis

I was thinking the letter was requested for a guardian ad litem or social worker as a character reference or proof of dad's presence in child's life or some other similar situation.

My state does not allow testimony or evidence to be counted unless given in person like you said.

[jojosmommy]

Point tjis parent to a mediator or parenting time expeditor. They serve the children and can gather the necessary documents to determine what is best for this kiddo.

I have it in my contract that I will not provide these documents unless summoned by the court.

Btw, in our area a parenting expeditor gets $265 per hour to sort out this kind of drama.