Stressed and Frustrated

[SJT43015]

I watch a 3 year old girl and her 4 month old brother and I have a 2 year old son. The little girl refuses to follow any rules. I've tried talking to about rules to her and I've tried time outs. She will sit on the chair and scream and the other day she spit on the floor. I praise her when I see her doing something good and take to opportunity to talk about that's how we follow the rules.

She refuses to use the potty here even though her parents say she's doing well at home. She just has no respect for authority or property. I've talked to her parents each day about what was good and what wasn't so good, but nothing has changed. Her dad even told me he doesn't do the discipline at home.

Her 4 month old brother rarely lets me put him down. He wants to be held all the time, especially when he wants to sleep. I watch them for 10 hours four days a week and I can't hold him the whole time.

Any feedback would be great. What works for you? I'm trying to put together a very structured schedule and manage the 4 month old at the same time. Ideas?

[TwinKristi]

How long have you been watching them? Consistency is HUGE! Having a routine helps too. If it doesn't work out, there isn't much you can do but say you tried. I would give them at least a month before giving up on them.

[cara041083]

I don't have much advise for the 4 year old because I had a boy just like that. It got to a point where when I saw the car pull up I started to stress. So I had to term. It was so bad that he wouldn't even play with toys or kids. As for the baby, put him down! He is gonna scream. and he is gonna cry, but he will learn that he is not the boss and he will not get what he wants. He will learn. You have to "train" them the way you want them to behave at your house. When it comes to nap time. Lay him down at the same time everyday and he is gona cry and fight, but the next day will be a lil bit easier. and then easier. after a while he will learn how its gonna be and it will not be an issue. If you don't have the parents support, or there not willing to help you, then I would term and start fresh. In my case the parents didn't help and I should have termed along time ago! Good luck

[Blackcat31]

I watch a 3 year old girl and her 4 month old brother and I have a 2 year old son. The little girl refuses to follow any rules. I've tried talking to about rules to her and I've tried time outs. She will sit on the chair and scream and the other day she spit on the floor. I praise her when I see her doing something good and take to opportunity to talk about that's how we follow the rules.

She refuses to use the potty here even though her parents say she's doing well at home. She just has no respect for authority or property. I've talked to her parents each day about what was good and what wasn't so good, but nothing has changed. Her dad even told me he doesn't do the discipline at home.

Her 4 month old brother rarely lets me put him down. He wants to be held all the time, especially when he wants to sleep. I watch them for 10 hours four days a week and I can't hold him the whole time.

Any feedback would be great. What works for you? I'm trying to put together a very structured schedule and manage the 4 month old at the same time. Ideas?

You need to put this back onto the parents. THEY need to address and/or "fix" the sleep issues of the infant and the authority issues with the 3 yr old

If parents are not on board or not doing anything to discipline and/or guide their child at home, then there really is no point in you continuing to care for them.

Parents and providers HAVE to work together to solve these kinds of things.

I disagree with having to atleast give it a month. Way too many providers try waaay to long to fix issues that don't belong to them and in my experience, the issue is usually pretty bad before a provider even asks for help/advice so there really is no time line in how long you do or don't have to give a family you have in care to address issues....it's as long as you feel comfortable.

If you are willing to stick it out and the parents work WITH you, then great! If you are at the end of your rope and can't manage much longer, then don't.

Families will ALWAYS do what's best for them and providers should do the same.

DO what YOU feel comfortable doing.