Motor Mouth

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Can take it no more!!! Thank goodness it is getting close to quiet time!

I have a 3yo dcb that constantly runs his mouth, even when it is not appropriate. When they are playing separately, he's a steady stream of "Hey! Name, blah, blah, blah" all across the room...when they are quietly working on preschool, there's constant babble from him...when they eat, his mouth is open-but not to put food in it.

My gentle reminders are not getting through, and "calling attention to his need to call attention" seems impatient or almost mean on my behalf-more like a personality conflict, but I can't help it. It is seriously beginning to rub me the wrong way! I can tell his friends are growing irritated as well, and have been "tuning him out." Any advice on how to weather this?

[e.j.]

No real advice but wanted to at least empathize. My son has Asperger's and NLD and one of the hallmarks is excessive talking. When he was younger, he would talk so much my brain felt numb and my head felt like it was spinning. I would tell him, "My brain is starting to hurt. It needs 5 minutes of quiet time so it can rest and feel better. Do you think we can stop talking for 5 minutes?" Sometimes he could do it, other times not so much. He eventually grew out of it (at least for the most part) but I also got really good at tuning out when I needed to save my sanity.

[JoseyJo]

Just woke up this morning thinking about how my motor mouth won't be here today happyface ::

[nannyde]

Tell him to be quiet. He doesn't get to take over the air waves in the household.

Start with "you be quiet"
Then "you quiet"
Then "quiet".

Tell him you will tell him when he can talk next. He needs long blocks of time when he takes in instead of puts out. Doesn't matter what he is taking in or whatever he is putting out. He needs TIME under his belt to watch the world around him. He needs to be in the stadium instead of on the field.

You have tried the kindler gentler way and he is not believing it. He is seeing your kindness as a weakness and your way is WAY too complicated for him. Take it over and release him of the decision when he can blabber on.

I would have a place for him to go to where he can talk incessantly out of ear range of everyone else. If he refused to follow my direction to be quiet he would be sent somewhere very boring to talk.

You could hang a poster of Obama and tell him to go talk to the President.

You could also put him on a whisper only plan. Every time he talks he must whisper. That takes the fun out of taking over the airwaves.

You could also team him up with the youngest walker in the house and have them hang out together all day every day. The new one year olds dig being talked to by older kids.

I had one like this a few years ago. The parents believed he was a genius because he talked non stop at a young age. He was befuddled here not to have an audience for it. We did a regressive over time training to get him to get to playing instead of talking constantly at the adult. (his deal was to engage an adult).

It took a while but eventually it came to "you quiet" and turning our back away from him. The amount of adult he was insisting on was interfering with the care of the babies and our ability to communicate with each other. He was in a group and we can't have a single group member take over the air waves and the adult. The air waves are for everyone but most importantly the adults have to be able to think and talk. The attention needs to be on the toys when the adult isn't engaging and on the adult when the adult is engaging.

When this kid started school the parents were brought up to the school to discuss the very same thing. They had to have a couple of conferences to develop a plan. Finally the parents HAD to deal with it because he would not leave the teacher with twenty five kids to teach. He did it by constantly talking.

How surprised were the parents when the first conference in REAL school wasn't about his giftedness but rather his behavior. They took away that it was a confirmation of his prowess but when they left their job to do wasn't to build his gifted vocabulary but to get him to be QUIET when he was told and to quit dinging at the adult with his words.

They can't have the whole environment. It's okay to just tell him to stop it and put limits on it. It's nothing personal. It's just bad behavior and he has to learn that when he is away from home he can't do that. He can blather on non stop at home but once he is in public, it's not appropriate and he can't have it.

[Angelsj]

I have one of these, 4 yo girl. Not diagnosed, but I am fairly confident she has Asperger's. She is constantly trying to get an adult to pay attention to her. At first, I thought it was because she was getting all this attention at home, but I am pretty certain it is just the opposite.

Regardless, I agree, the child can't always have the attention, and the constant talking about every single page in a book every time we read, was ridiculous. I finally had to tell her plainly to stop, no talking. She also asks about odd things; "Is this my mitten?" when she knows it is.
I like the idea of "quiet", but that got her whispering, and when I told her to stop, she said, "I am being quiet!" ::