This Just Isn't Working Out......

[crazydaycarelady]

I took on a new 1yo. The baby is a cousin to a family that I have had for 6 years and watch their 3 kids. The referral family is GREAT! The dad got laid off once but they continued to pay me for 4 months to hold their spots.

So anyway the new family - First they said they needed me last December, then it was January, then April, then maybe in the summer and they finally started in August.

I don't mind part time and they are part time, very random schedule though. Then on the days they are scheduled they show up anywhere from 8:30 - 11:00am. The baby is never on a good schedule but a lot of times they want her to sleep 10:30-12:30, thereby missing lunch and getting up just in time for the others to go to sleep. The baby fights everything whether it is eating, sleeping, or diaper changes. She screams so loud I have to put her upstairs in the spare bedroom when she "sleeps" or she keeps everyone awake. She is fine as long as she is allowed to crawl around and play. ANYTHING other than that and she screams!

They only come about half the time they are scheduled, which I guess is okay since I get paid anyway but it is annoying.

I want to dump them but they are a very close family and I think the good referral family will be highly offended.

[TwinKristi]

You can't torture yourself to avoid offending someone else's family. It's YOUR business and if it's creating a problem then you need to do something. Regardless of why or how they found you, it's just not working out because of the family and the way they do things. If their family members are upset just explain their schedule wasn't working with your daycare.

[daycarediva]

I wouldn't keep a family that didn't fit in my program because of the possibility of it upsetting other families. The parents of the dcb I just termed were good friends with another (golden) family. After giving the dcp's the term notice, I waited until the next day and addressed it with the other family directly.

"Dcm, I know that you and (other dcm) are close. I hope that my letting them go will in no way affect our relationship."

Not only did she respond very positively to that, she said that she understood my situation and that dcm has 'tunnel vision' about dcb.

No drama.

[DaycareMom]

I took on a new 1yo. The baby is a cousin to a family that I have had for 6 years and watch their 3 kids. The referral family is GREAT! The dad got laid off once but they continued to pay me for 4 months to hold their spots.

So anyway the new family - First they said they needed me last December, then it was January, then April, then maybe in the summer and they finally started in August.

I don't mind part time and they are part time, very random schedule though. Then on the days they are scheduled they show up anywhere from 8:30 - 11:00am. The baby is never on a good schedule but a lot of times they want her to sleep 10:30-12:30, thereby missing lunch and getting up just in time for the others to go to sleep. The baby fights everything whether it is eating, sleeping, or diaper changes. She screams so loud I have to put her upstairs in the spare bedroom when she "sleeps" or she keeps everyone awake. She is fine as long as she is allowed to crawl around and play. ANYTHING other than that and she screams!

They only come about half the time they are scheduled, which I guess is okay since I get paid anyway but it is annoying.

I want to dump them but they are a very close family and I think the good referral family will be highly offended.

Did you interview with this family before accepting them? Your schedule, policies, etc should have been discussed.

Maybe talk to the parents and give them a copy of the schedule you follow. Explain that it's group care and everyone needs to eat/nap/whatever together. Also tell them you need to know what days/times they will be coming at least a week in advance so you can plan.

Perhaps their child has never been a part of group care and don't understand.

Tell them how YOU want it to go, and if they don't like it, perhaps they need a nanny. At least that way you gave them a fair chance to conform.

Good Luck!happyface

[Heidi]

Did you interview with this family before accepting them? Your schedule, policies, etc should have been discussed.

Maybe talk to the parents and give them a copy of the schedule you follow. Explain that it's group care and everyone needs to eat/nap/whatever together. Also tell them you need to know what days/times they will be coming at least a week in advance so you can plan.

Perhaps their child has never been a part of group care and don't understand.

Tell them how YOU want it to go, and if they don't like it, perhaps they need a nanny. At least that way you gave them a fair chance to conform.

Good Luck!happyface

Yes...I would really lay it back in their lap. You want dcg to be happy, but the erratic schedule makes it hard for her to get comfortable. Here is my schedule. Starting Monday, we need to get her into the rhythm of things, or I think it'd be better if you figured out another solution. Someone to come to the house, perhaps?

[cheerfuldom]

I can almost guarantee this what is happening....

They do not bring her until she wakes in the morning. They are at the mercy of whatever it is that she does or doesn't want to do which explains why she is not cooperative and wanting to roam free unrestrained. Bed and naps are scream fest but a lot of it is due to the fact that she isn't on a consistent schedule. She is just dumped in the bed anytime they are done dealing with her or want a break. They want her taking a morning nap at your house so that you have all of the awake time in the afternoon to wear her out. when they pickup, they don't have to do much at all because she is already exhausted. She is sleeping because she has worn herself out, not because they have a bedtime routine. They may be tucking her in really early too, like 6pm. That is becoming more and more common these days as parents stick the provider with all the awake time and they get all the sleep time. So they get to feel like great parents without actually doing anything for their kid.

You cannot control what is happening at home and frankly, I wouldnt even try but that is up to you. Anyway, I would do the following,

1. institute a new policy that a child must be dropped off by X time or they will not be allowed to attend for that day. I would suggest 9am. They pay for the day whether they attend or not. I would not over explain this to the families but just state that you need a consistent schedule for the daycare to run smoothly. Random dropoffs have begun to disrupt the daycare as well as doing a disservice to the particular child. If this does not work for them, they are welcome to find new childcare. Make the rules and let them leave themselves versus you having to term.

2. No more morning naps unless she is still very young, like under 12 months. If you do keep a morning nap, I would do 9 to 10am. Keep shortening it until she no longer needs it. Afternoon nap is mandatory for each child, not negotiable. If she screams the whole time, so be it.

3. Don't worry about making her eat. Just offer food and if she freaks out, put her down to play and that's that. Do not stress yourself out trying to force her to eat and stay at the table. This is assuming she is toddler age and you have the set up to let her get down from the table. If you cannot let her get down, remove the food so she doesn't make a mess and let her cry until the meal time is over.

4. I would keep her separated during nap and get some white noise going in there loud. Do the same time, the same tuck in routine every day and do not allow any reaction to the crying. Just remain calm and do not give her any attention for the screaming.

If you really get this schedule under control, I think this child will come around. She is happy to play on her own and that is a really good start and shows some potential. Her parents need to get it together and I think she will be better about cooperating when she knows what to expect.

[Heidi]

I can almost guarantee this what is happening....

They do not bring her until she wakes in the morning. They are at the mercy of whatever it is that she does or doesn't want to do which explains why she is not cooperative and wanting to roam free unrestrained. Bed and naps are scream fest but a lot of it is due to the fact that she isn't on a consistent schedule. She is just dumped in the bed anytime they are done dealing with her or want a break. They want her taking a morning nap at your house so that you have all of the awake time in the afternoon to wear her out. when they pickup, they don't have to do much at all because she is already exhausted. She is sleeping because she has worn herself out, not because they have a bedtime routine. They may be tucking her in really early too, like 6pm. That is becoming more and more common these days as parents stick the provider with all the awake time and they get all the sleep time. So they get to feel like great parents without actually doing anything for their kid.

You cannot control what is happening at home and frankly, I wouldnt even try but that is up to you. Anyway, I would do the following,

1. institute a new policy that a child must be dropped off by X time or they will not be allowed to attend for that day. I would suggest 9am. They pay for the day whether they attend or not. I would not over explain this to the families but just state that you need a consistent schedule for the daycare to run smoothly. Random dropoffs have begun to disrupt the daycare as well as doing a disservice to the particular child. If this does not work for them, they are welcome to find new childcare. Make the rules and let them leave themselves versus you having to term.

2. No more morning naps unless she is still very young, like under 12 months. If you do keep a morning nap, I would do 9 to 10am. Keep shortening it until she no longer needs it. Afternoon nap is mandatory for each child, not negotiable. If she screams the whole time, so be it.

3. Don't worry about making her eat. Just offer food and if she freaks out, put her down to play and that's that. Do not stress yourself out trying to force her to eat and stay at the table. This is assuming she is toddler age and you have the set up to let her get down from the table. If you cannot let her get down, remove the food so she doesn't make a mess and let her cry until the meal time is over.

4. I would keep her separated during nap and get some white noise going in there loud. Do the same time, the same tuck in routine every day and do not allow any reaction to the crying. Just remain calm and do not give her any attention for the screaming.

If you really get this schedule under control, I think this child will come around. She is happy to play on her own and that is a really good start and shows some potential. Her parents need to get it together and I think she will be better about cooperating when she knows what to expect.

oh yeah!