What Would You Do/Say?

[DaycareMom]

I was just informed by DCM that DCG 4 may possibly be going to a dance class on Tuesdays at 12:30 p.m. She said her mother would pick-up and drop-off for this class. She also mentioned she was not sure if grandma could do it so it may not happen.

I don't want to say anything unless it's certain, but I have a couple issues with this, and was hoping I could get some insight or advice.

My first issue is that grandma is a pain in the butt! She is a former preschool teacher and thinks she knows everything! Always wants to stay and "help". She dropped off here one other time and was into everything and stayed over an hour!!! I didn't know how to kick her out . If this does end up happening, I want to tell DCM that grandma can't stay.

Also, this time falls right at nap time. Leaving at 12:30 or a little before would be OK as our nap time doesn't start until 1:00, but I am sure that she will be coming back before nap time is over and probably wake the others.

How would you handle this situation? What would you say to DCM?

TYIA for any help!

[Unregistered]

May need to lay it out in a way that works best for your group. If class starts at 12:30, how early will she need to be picked up to get there on time? Will pick up take place during lunch?
Are you expected to have her dressed for dance class(during lunch time?). Will Grandma be expecting to dress her at your place? Would this be disruptive?

Perhaps mention that you are sure she understands this is a busy time of day when schedule needs to be maintained to get tired children feed and down for nap. Child could be brought to door for a quick departure. She is welcome to return at 3:00 or when ever your nap ends.

Timing is a challenge on this one.

[crunchymama]

I would tell mom that you're willing to try it on say a 1 month trial basis. Tell her gma must pick up at the specified time and you will have dcg ready and waiting and pickup right at the door, gma needs to just sign her out and go so not to get the whole group fluffed up. Be firm and direct with mom. As far as gma dropping dcg back off, I wouldn't even start that but if you are comfortable with it tell mom she can't come back til after naptime.

[DaycareMom]

I think my biggest issue will be addressing that I don't want grandma to stay. I think that she thinks since I only have my kids, her grandkids and one other child, that it's not a REAL daycare.

When she came last time, she had an entitled attitude. She was going thru my cabinets and just would NOT leave. I was completely taken aback as I had never had that happen. DC Grandma is extremely pushy, and in your face. I am a little scared of her tbh.

I LOVE DCM, but not fond of grandma ... I want to put it out there without causing a problem with DCM.

[itlw8]

Mom knows what Grandma is like. TELL her you were offended when she came last time and she invaded your private space. Tell her she was in your cabinets and it will not be allowed. EVER then tell her she may not come back until after nap at ----- and you will not have time to dress her and will not change lunch time to suit so grandma may need to pic up earlier to buy her lunch and dress her when she gets to class. They always have a changing room

[KidGrind]

I think my biggest issue will be addressing that I don't want grandma to stay. I think that she thinks since I only have my kids, her grandkids and one other child, that it's not a REAL daycare.

When she came last time, she had an entitled attitude. She was going thru my cabinets and just would NOT leave. I was completely taken aback as I had never had that happen. DC Grandma is extremely pushy, and in your face. I am a little scared of her tbh.

I LOVE DCM, but not fond of grandma ... I want to put it out there without causing a problem with DCM.

You should stand up for your home and program. I don’t think it’s the DCM to tell her mother what to do. It’s your responsibility to set & maintain boundaries in your home. “Thank you _________ for dropping off _______. We will see you next Wednedsay.” (I forgot which day she has lessons.)

[DaycareMom]

You should stand up for your home and program. I don’t think it’s the DCM to tell her mother what to do. It’s your responsibility to set & maintain boundaries in your home. “Thank you _________ for dropping off _______. We will see you next Wednedsay.” (I forgot which day she has lessons.)

I agree with you! And, I tried that. As soon as I said, "Thank you! Drive Safe!" DCG starts crying and screaming that she wants grandma to stay. Then, all the other kids start it too as they get excited with anyone new and different. So grandma says, "OK I will stay a few more mins".

Then I thought it would be a great idea to bring the kids outside to play in the rain, her car was in the way of our play area - surely grandma won't stay out in the rain and realize she is in the way and leave, right? - nope she stayed even longer.

I feel like everytime I try to say in a nice way that she needs to leave, she seems to find a reason to stay.

I want to find a way to say she can't stay that is NICE but that also can't be argued with as I feel like she would be the one to argue it.

[KidGrind]

I agree with you! And, I tried that. As soon as I said, "Thank you! Drive Safe!" DCG starts crying and screaming that she wants grandma to stay. Then, all the other kids start it too as they get excited with anyone new and different. So grandma says, "OK I will stay a few more mins".

Then I thought it would be a great idea to bring the kids outside to play in the rain, her car was in the way of our play area - surely grandma won't stay out in the rain and realize she is in the way and leave, right? - nope she stayed even longer.

I feel like everytime I try to say in a nice way that she needs to leave, she seems to find a reason to stay.

I want to find a way to say she can't stay that is NICE but that also can't be argued with as I feel like she would be the one to argue it.

“______ I know you love your granny. However, we are not having visitors today. You can see her another time.” Then look at Granny and say, “Okay thanks _______ see you next Tuesday.”


I KNOW IT IS HARD. Honestly, I would’ve resigned to her staying too!

[Blackcat31]

First off, you tell mom that IF gma is coming to pick up, she MUST text/call prior to arrival. Then you get DCG ready and send her out the door.

Tell mom that gma is NOT allowed to come in and stay. Insurance does NOT allow for this.

Go about your daily routine. When gma texts/calls that she is on her way, have DCG get her coat on and send her out when you see gma in the drive.

Your house = your rules.

NO way would I allow grandma to enter. period.

[Childminder]

I'm sorry but it is against regulation to have anyone stay that doesn't have the proper clearances by the state. You don't want the "daycare police" to take away my license do you?

[Blackcat31]

If mom asks why grandma can't stay, tell her it upsets DCG that she (gma) isn't allowed to stay so it's best if gma just picks up quick and swift.

If mom resists, then tell her gma needs to keep DCG on dance days so this situation isn't YOUR problem.

[MamaBearCanada]

“______ I know you love your granny. However, we are not having visitors today. You can see her another time.” Then look at Granny and say, “Okay thanks _______ see you next Tuesday.”


I KNOW IT IS HARD. Honestly, I would’ve resigned to her staying too!

If possible don't even let Granny past front door. Open door, block with your body.

"Hi DCG say bye to Granny. Thanks Granny, see you next week."

[DaycareMom]

Thank you all for your advice. I am legally unlicensed. I think I will attempt blocking my door off and just saying, "Thanks! Bye bye!" If she forces her way in, I will tell DCM and gma that drop offs need to be quick since DCG gets so upset and it gets the other kids all riled up.

I know I need to have a strong back bone on this, but it's so tough since I know she has a stronger one

Thanks again everyone!

[Blackcat31]

Thank you all for your advice. I am legally unlicensed. I think I will attempt blocking my door off and just saying, "Thanks! Bye bye!" If she forces her way in, I will tell DCM and gma that drop offs need to be quick since DCG gets so upset and it gets the other kids all riled up.

I know I need to have a strong back bone on this, but it's so tough since I know she has a stronger one

Thanks again everyone!

If you can't use the licensing won't allow it excuse, you can always say your insurance won't allow anyone but custodial parents to be present in the home during working hours.

[daycare]

1 drop off and one pick up per day.

I had a family want to do this and no way jose.

I also had this mom that was just like your granny.


I think that having a nice conversation with the DCM is in order. I would have this talk now as opposed to later after they have made their decision to attend.

I would just say something like.

Hey DCM I know that you are thinking about having gma take susie to dance classes on ______. Please keep in mind that per our daycare polices, we can only allow for one drop off and pick up to occur per family per day.

If you would like me to help susie prepare for dance, I can do my best to help, however, gma would need to keep her for the rest of the day after her class is over.

I hope you understand that it is very difficult for a child to say goodbye more than once a day. Changing a child's routine makes for a very difficult day for them and for the other children here.

As always, I want to thank you for understanding and supporting all of our daycare policies.
from
DCP

If you did it this way, you would not even have to worry about gma coming in to stay, as she would be picking up to leave.