So Frustrated...

[Kabob]

After much thought and reading these forums I decided I was shooting myself in the foot with my lax hours,policies, and rates so I sent out a letter with new contracts and handbooks this past week. I changed my hours from 6am to 6pm every day of the week to 7am to 5pm mondays through fridays. I changed my rate from a flat daily rate based on age to a rate based on scheduled pick up time. Most families except 1 only use 9 hours per day so I my base rate is based around a 9 hour day with a $5 increase per half hour up until 10 hours and then $5 per 15 minutes after 10 hours. The other families are thrilled because they get a rate decrease now if they pick up on time since they only use 9 hours but the 1 family is upset. The dcm emailed me a list of grievances regarding my new policies as she said she was looking forward to the rate decrease when dcg turned 2 and also she said she feels I'm unfairly giving a huge rate decrease to parents that pick up earlier than her (she typically uses almost 10.5 hours per day). She also is upset that I now no longer will be giving free days for days her daughter is sick because she has to use vacation time at work to care for her daughter when she is sick and then doesn't have time to do anything fun. And she doesn't like my new hours.

I get her issues. However. Everyone's rates work out to be exactly the same as before...the only big change is I'm rewarding families for picking up earlier than 10 hours and taking away freebies since people were abusing those days and others weren't even using them when they should be and caused a huge headache and dip in profit anyway. Furthermore, when I get sick (which has been often lately...I just am getting over the stomach flu) and have to close and can't care for my own child...my dh has to miss work without pay to stay home and help and I miss out on pay as well...for an illness caused by the very kids I care for...

I currently don't get paid vacation or sick days. She does AND she doesn't have to pay for daycare when her daughter is sick. I did this to encourage families to keep their sick kids home but they never used those days for that and just looked to use it to avoid paying me in the past (which is why I am taking it away). I work 11-12 hours a day while pregnant. I offer a well rounded program with quality meals. I have been way more flexible than I probably should have been. This contract fixes all that so that I can continue without burning out or burning through my wallet. Am I being fair? I realize she hasn't been abusing the system and follows all the rules so I understand she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do. How can I communicate this to her? She is a great dcm but these long days have been tough lately...and I really don't want to continue working these long hours for a pay cut in the future.

[Cradle2crayons]

After much thought and reading these forums I decided I was shooting myself in the foot with my lax hours,policies, and rates so I sent out a letter with new contracts and handbooks this past week. I changed my hours from 6am to 6pm every day of the week to 7am to 5pm mondays through fridays. I changed my rate from a flat daily rate based on age to a rate based on scheduled pick up time. Most families except 1 only use 9 hours per day so I my base rate is based around a 9 hour day with a $5 increase per half hour up until 10 hours and then $5 per 15 minutes after 10 hours. The other families are thrilled because they get a rate decrease now if they pick up on time since they only use 9 hours but the 1 family is upset. The dcm emailed me a list of grievances regarding my new policies as she said she was looking forward to the rate decrease when dcg turned 2 and also she said she feels I'm unfairly giving a huge rate decrease to parents that pick up earlier than her (she typically uses almost 10.5 hours per day). She also is upset that I now no longer will be giving free days for days her daughter is sick because she has to use vacation time at work to care for her daughter when she is sick and then doesn't have time to do anything fun. And she doesn't like my new hours.

I get her issues. However. Everyone's rates work out to be exactly the same as before...the only big change is I'm rewarding families for picking up earlier than 10 hours and taking away freebies since people were abusing those days and others weren't even using them when they should be and caused a huge headache and dip in profit anyway. Furthermore, when I get sick (which has been often lately...I just am getting over the stomach flu) and have to close and can't care for my own child...my dh has to miss work without pay to stay home and help and I miss out on pay as well...for an illness caused by the very kids I care for...

I currently don't get paid vacation or sick days. She does AND she doesn't have to pay for daycare when her daughter is sick. I did this to encourage families to keep their sick kids home but they never used those days for that and just looked to use it to avoid paying me in the past (which is why I am taking it away). I work 11-12 hours a day while pregnant. I offer a well rounded program with quality meals. I have been way more flexible than I probably should have been. This contract fixes all that so that I can continue without burning out or burning through my wallet. Am I being fair? I realize she hasn't been abusing the system and follows all the rules so I understand she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do. How can I communicate this to her? She is a great dcm but these long days have been tough lately...and I really don't want to continue working these long hours for a pay cut in the future.

You are being totally fair. To YOURSELF. Which you haven't bee doing. It's pretty normal for dcp to abuse us if we let them. And in the end, we have to do what works for US and OUR BUSINESS and OUR family.

I would explain its nothing personal and it wasn't done to make it harder for HER. It's to make it work better for YOU.

I'd simply let her know that if she doesn't want to stay, to remember she needs to give and pay for a two week notice and leave it at that. (If you do that in your contract ).

:hug: good for you for getting a backbone and doing what's best for YOU.

[e.j.]

I have been way more flexible than I probably should have been. This contract fixes all that so that I can continue without burning out or burning through my wallet. Am I being fair? I realize she hasn't been abusing the system and follows all the rules so I understand she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do. How can I communicate this to her? She is a great dcm but these long days have been tough lately...and I really don't want to continue working these long hours for a pay cut in the future.

You can't be all things to all people. As owner of your day care business, you get to determine the policies that work best for you and your family. If it were me, I would tell her I read over her list of concerns and understand where she's coming from but that I feel the new policies are necessary since the original policies weren't working as well as I had hoped they would for me. I'd tell her that while I'd hate to see her go, I totally understand if she needs to find another provider whose policies work better for her. I would offer to provide a list of area providers and their contact info if she needs help finding someone else. Who knows? Once she has the chance to speak with other providers, she may decide your new policies aren't so bad after all! Good luck!

[Annalee]

Awesome! When I first started charging 52 weeks a year regardless....I got some flack as will and I was very nervous about how to respond. Eventually it will get easier and you will feel so empowered because you are taking care of YOU!

My reply then and now when I get questioned is "I totally understand how you feel however this is how my child care program will run. If you feel the need to look elsewhere I will be happy to give you the child care website that will offer other services"...

I did lose one child in the beginning but she, too, wanted to come from open to close.... better for me when she moved on.

Good Luck!

[blandino]

How could it possibly be unfair of you to give a decrease to parents who pick up earlier. They are using less of your services.

Using less = a lower rate.

The concept of fair needs to be defined for her (and a lot of other people).

[cheerfuldom]

Don't explain or justify anything. Just re confirm that these are the new changes. you understand if your new setup no longer works for her and that you understand if she needs to find new care, just remind her of your exit policy and let her make that decision.

[JoseyJo]

Don't explain or justify anything. Just re confirm that these are the new changes. you understand if your new setup no longer works for her and that you understand if she needs to find new care, just remind her of your exit policy and let her make that decision.

[Blackcat31]

Seems like the ones that complain are the ones who use the most hours, expect the most from you and respect you the least.

Stand your ground. This mom sees this as unfair because it is unfair to HER.

She failed to realize that the way things were before were unfair to YOU.

YOUR business = YOUR rules.

She can go elsewhere if she doesn't like it.

The ONE thing I have learned from my 20+years in this business is you can't please everyone and having only 2 clients that respect you trumps having 20 clients that only view things from their perspective.

Hang in there.

[Kabob]

Either way, she's going to have to deal with the changes...just frustrated she doesn't see it my way. Of course that's why these changes are happening. The families only care about themselves and don't care if I'm sick, tired, or being taken advantage of...they expect freebies and flexibility. I just wish I could tell dcm that if dcd bothered to pick up a half hour early each day instead of staying home they'd get that $5 discount she was looking for...I don't know how to say that without sounding as annoyed as I feel right now. It's an easy solution...just work out a schedule with her husband so that their child doesn't have to be in daycare for over 10 hours a day and they save money. But that requires work on her part not mine.

The free days aren't gonna happen...nobody in my area offers that except a center. I am not a center. I'm so frustrated she is being selfish. Sure she loses vacation days when her child is sick but she still gets paid. I lose both my pay and dh's pay if I get sick...at the very least my pay if ds gets sick....and usually these illnesses happen because this is my first year open and the kids carry illnesses or actually come here sick (my sick policy has become more strict too).

I feel better now...not replying to her email until Monday anyway...she emailed me on the weekend.

[Kabob]

And thanks for all of your replies! It's scary starting out a new business so it helps having the advice and support. I can't believe how much I've learned in mere months.

[Cradle2crayons]

Either way, she's going to have to deal with the changes...just frustrated she doesn't see it my way. Of course that's why these changes are happening. The families only care about themselves and don't care if I'm sick, tired, or being taken advantage of...they expect freebies and flexibility. I just wish I could tell dcm that if dcd bothered to pick up a half hour early each day instead of staying home they'd get that $5 discount she was looking for...I don't know how to say that without sounding as annoyed as I feel right now. It's an easy solution...just work out a schedule with her husband so that their child doesn't have to be in daycare for over 10 hours a day and they save money. But that requires work on her part not mine.

The free days aren't gonna happen...nobody in my area offers that except a center. I am not a center. I'm so frustrated she is being selfish. Sure she loses vacation days when her child is sick but she still gets paid. I lose both my pay and dh's pay if I get sick...at the very least my pay if ds gets sick....and usually these illnesses happen because this is my first year open and the kids carry illnesses or actually come here sick (my sick policy has become more strict too).

I feel better now...not replying to her email until Monday anyway...she emailed me on the weekend.

Dear dcm,
I understand you are frustrated with the new policies, however, they have been put in place to make taking care of ALL of the children and MYSELF much easier. Some of the parents have figured out, between both parents, how to make their pick up times earlier, thus saving them a little money. Maybe that's an option for you guys also? If so, please let me know and your rate can reflect the earlier pick up.

Thanks,
Daycare provider


Personally, I would let her figure it out for herself, but if she's a good dcp otherwise but severely lacks problem solving skills, you could respond accordingly.

[Kabob]

Dear dcm,
I understand you are frustrated with the new policies, however, they have been put in place to make taking care of ALL of the children and MYSELF much easier. Some of the parents have figured out, between both parents, how to make their pick up times earlier, thus saving them a little money. Maybe that's an option for you guys also? If so, please let me know and your rate can reflect the earlier pick up.

Thanks,
Daycare provider


Personally, I would let her figure it out for herself, but if she's a good dcp otherwise but severely lacks problem solving skills, you could respond accordingly.

I don't know if she lacks problem solving skills or hates change. She likes working long hours so she can have more time off and her husband likes not dealing with drop off or pick up. Maybe if she really wants to stay she'll make him help...maybe a little nudge is what they need.

[Cradle2crayons]

I don't know if she lacks problem solving skills or hates change. She likes working long hours so she can have more time off and her husband likes not dealing with drop off or pick up. Maybe if she really wants to stay she'll make him help...maybe a little nudge is what they need.

Maybe so!!!! A nudge or a kick?? Lol.

[Cat Herder]

The dcm emailed me a list of grievances regarding my new policies

1. was looking forward to the rate decrease when dcg turned 2

2. feels I'm unfairly giving a huge rate decrease to parents that pick up earlier than her

3. she has to use vacation time at work to care for her daughter when she is sick and then doesn't have time to do anything fun.

4. she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do.


How can I communicate this to her?

I would think Mommy is being a big baby herself.

1. The food, toy, curriculum, art supply and wear/tear costs go up, not down, at the age of two. "Get a grip Mommy." ::::

2. They use fewer hours. Kids need more time with parents. You reward parents who made the sacrifices to spend more time with their kids. "Simple math, Mommy."

3. Boo hoo.... Nobody ever said being a mother was fun. "It is your child, Mommy."

4. She chose to have a child, put that child in daycare and take a job with long hours. Having children is not mandatory. Nobody forced it on her. She is not special. "We all make sacrifices to have kids, Mommy."

** I am paraphrasing, of course. I'd recommend softening up the delivery, but the context is dead on.

[Laurel]

Maybe if you like her a lot and want to explain (not that you have to) you could say something like this.

Dear DCM,

I enjoy having your child here and have appreciated that you have always followed the rules. However, my previous policies did not work for me. It is nothing personal against you I assure you.

Just like in any other business if one uses more hours it will cost more. Would dad be willing to pick up to help you out and cut costs?

I don't get paid when I take a sick day and my husband loses a day's pay when he has to stay home to help me out so obviously this is not working out for us. I'm sure you can understand.

My new contract is more in line with the policies that other daycare's use. You might want to call around and see for yourself to make yourself feel better. I have to be fair to myself as well as to my families. I hope this clears up the reasons for my decision.

Sincerely, Your DCP