A Mom Told Me She Is Signing My Name..

[QualiTcare]

i wouldn't terminate, honestly. i mean, if she told you to your face that she did it when in all likelihood you would have never known any other way - she probably wasn't trying to SCAM anything, but save some time from having to drive and get you to sign them.

that doesn't make it right, but terming someone for being honest? i dunno about that.

[DanceMom]

i wouldn't terminate, honestly. i mean, if she told you to your face that she did it when in all likelihood you would have never known any other way - she probably wasn't trying to SCAM anything, but save some time from having to drive and get you to sign them.

that doesn't make it right, but terming someone for being honest? i dunno about that.

Well she comes here everyday before work, I dont think it was to save time to drive here since she already comes here.

BUT I do agree about terminating. I read on Resource for child caring that basically what I can do, is give a year end statement to all families with the dollar amount they paid me for the year, have them sign it and also provide them a W-10. This way I am protected and whatever she does..thats her problem. Which this is what I am going to do along with reminding her to have me sign them going fwd.

[momofsix]

Well she comes here everyday before work, I dont think it was to save time to drive here since she already comes here.

BUT I do agree about terminating. I read on Resource for child caring that basically what I can do, is give a year end statement to all families with the dollar amount they paid me for the year, have them sign it and also provide them a W-10. This way I am protected and whatever she does..thats her problem. Which this is what I am going to do along with reminding her to have me sign them going fwd.

I agree, what I am wondering is what prompted her to tell you now?

[TomCopeland]

DCAP Plans

The advice given here by providers is good. I have heard from other providers about the problem of parents signing employer forms in the name of the provider. Obviously this is illegal and can cause trouble for the provider if the parent collected more money from the employer than the parent paid the provider. The IRS could look at this and assume that the provider got all the money. Having the parent sign an end-of-year receipt will protect you.

BTW - if a parent doesn't spend all the money in their plan by the end of the year the provider should ask the parent to give to her. Any unspent money is kept by the employer. The provider is the only one who can get this money. Tell the parent you will buy some toys or make quality improvements in your program if they pay you the extra money.

[DanceMom]

I agree, what I am wondering is what prompted her to tell you now?

I have NO idea...alls I can say is she is very random...always telling me random things..rants about her life ALL the time. She is also keeping this "extra money" from her husband - he doesnt know she sent it in this time.

[DanceMom]

The advice given here by providers is good. I have heard from other providers about the problem of parents signing employer forms in the name of the provider. Obviously this is illegal and can cause trouble for the provider if the parent collected more money from the employer than the parent paid the provider. The IRS could look at this and assume that the provider got all the money. Having the parent sign an end-of-year receipt will protect you.

BTW - if a parent doesn't spend all the money in their plan by the end of the year the provider should ask the parent to give to her. Any unspent money is kept by the employer. The provider is the only one who can get this money. Tell the parent you will buy some toys or make quality improvements in your program if they pay you the extra money.

Thanks Tom, I was hoping you'd pipe in Appreciate your feedback !

[generalee72]

I'm obviously new to the forum and have zero experience in the buisness. (trying to learn some info about opening a center)

That being said, if she's a good customer, with a good kid and she's worth keeping. I would definitely do what's necessary to protect myself/business, but at the same time be honest & clear about your position/predicament. She obviously trusts/respects/likes you at some level or she wouldn't have mentioned it, but at the same time she simply might not realize the position she put you in by doing this.

I know a few years back I tried to cash out a car insurance check through a friends collision shop. In retrospect I knew it was wrong, but didn't understand the risk he would have been taking, nor did I take into account the moral dilemma I was creating for him. As soon as he mentioned it was fraud and could impact him I scraped the idea and never thought about it again.

Short version: If she's worth keeping around, talk about it and protect yourself. If she's not worth keeping around drop her ass like an 8am sand-script class.

[Former Teacher]

I totally agree with the posters that say terminate. I can't believe some of our more "seasoned" posters would not terminate. This is fraud, pure and simple.

Just imagine how it would have been had she NOT told you? Can you even begin to think of anything else that she may have signed your name to?

IMO...I think you should make sure you have all your information in order and then terminate. If you give her this chance..who knows what else she will pull in the future.

[Crystal]

I would tell MOm that you want copies of all documents that she has signed. I would let her know that what she has done is unethical. If she has lied on the documents I would terminate, if she has not lied on the documents, I would let her know that you are highly offended that she would do such a thing without your permission.

Then, I would consider the standing relationship you have, decide if you are offended enough to pursue it further, and then make your personal decision on whether or not to terminate.

[Lucy]

Wait, let's be clear. Is this truely REIMBURSEMENT from her employer? As in she pays you, but the employer pays her back making her Daycare FREE? In that case, it could be she is putting down more than she pays you and pocketing the extra.

OR is she on one of those flexible spending plans where you can have it set up on your paychecks to deduct pre-set amounts for child care (and medical and some other stuff), and it will not be part of your income for tax purposes? Because if that's the case, there's no extra to pocket and it's just a simple form that requires my signature once a month, and is really no big deal.

Just wanted to be clear.

[QualiTcare]

I totally agree with the posters that say terminate. I can't believe some of our more "seasoned" posters would not terminate. This is fraud, pure and simple.

Just imagine how it would have been had she NOT told you? Can you even begin to think of anything else that she may have signed your name to?

IMO...I think you should make sure you have all your information in order and then terminate. If you give her this chance..who knows what else she will pull in the future.

some people think termination is the answer to everything. i don't.
it is unethical what this parent did, but as i said, if she were actually scamming money - i doubt she would've told on herself. i could be wrong as crazier things have happened, but if she signed the provider's name without actually "scamming money" i think it could be handled without terminating. asking for copies of the documents would be the rational thing to do IMO. if she hasn't doctored them (other than the obvious FORGERY) i would make it clear that she would be terminated if it happens again. more than likely, if it's been going on for any period of time, the provider can see how often the papers are turned in (monthly, bi-weekly, etc) and request to be given a document to sign based on that. of course, it's up to the provider if she wants to terminate, and it would be warranted. but you have to remember, the parent TOLD HER she did this - she's not being investigated by the IRS. unfortunately, termination is too often the advice given, and as we all know - that's not always realistic or necessary to solve a problem.

[marniewon]

some people think termination is the answer to everything. i don't.
it is unethical what this parent did, but as i said, if she were actually scamming money - i doubt she would've told on herself. i could be wrong as crazier things have happened, but if she signed the provider's name without actually "scamming money" i think it could be handled without terminating. asking for copies of the documents would be the rational thing to do IMO. if she hasn't doctored them (other than the obvious FORGERY) i would make it clear that she would be terminated if it happens again. more than likely, if it's been going on for any period of time, the provider can see how often the papers are turned in (monthly, bi-weekly, etc) and request to be given a document to sign based on that. of course, it's up to the provider if she wants to terminate, and it would be warranted. but you have to remember, the parent TOLD HER she did this - she's not being investigated by the IRS. unfortunately, termination is too often the advice given, and as we all know - that's not always realistic or necessary to solve a problem.

I agree that termination is not always the answer, but where is the trust now, that mom forged dcp's signature. The fact that she told her could say that she had no clue it was wrong....but seriously, forgery is wrong, and most (all?) adults know that. I'm afraid, in that position that I would not be able to trust this dcp again. And anyway, dcm said she needed money to get her car fixed, so she forged the sig to get money from employer. If she could be doing this all along, why just start now when she needed extra money? Sounds fishy to me. I'm not saying term asap, but like others said, get copies of the documents that were forged, and compare them to records. If they are off, definitely term....if not, a warning might be enough. But still......will dcp be able to trust this mom again after this?

[QualiTcare]

I agree that termination is not always the answer, but where is the trust now, that mom forged dcp's signature. The fact that she told her could say that she had no clue it was wrong....but seriously, forgery is wrong, and most (all?) adults know that. I'm afraid, in that position that I would not be able to trust this dcp again. And anyway, dcm said she needed money to get her car fixed, so she forged the sig to get money from employer. If she could be doing this all along, why just start now when she needed extra money? Sounds fishy to me. I'm not saying term asap, but like others said, get copies of the documents that were forged, and compare them to records. If they are off, definitely term....if not, a warning might be enough. But still......will dcp be able to trust this mom again after this?

i agree, and again, it's up to the provider if she wants to term or not. i probably wouldn't assuming that the documents are legit other than my signature. i've had circumstances where i've had to have papers signed, and i've had people tell me, "just go ahead and sign my name." of course, this is different, because the parent didn't inform her until afterward, but she did inform her which tells me she's either really not aware how serious what she was doing was, or she felt REALLY comfortable with the dcp to inform her afterward. either way, i feel like immediate termination is jumping the gun because, as i said, if this was a parent that was really dishonest and trying to scam - she would've never said a word.

[Former Teacher]

i feel like immediate termination is jumping the gun because, as i said, if this was a parent that was really dishonest and trying to scam - she would've never said a word.

I don't believe terming the family is "jumping the gun". If I was the provider, and a family did that to me, it would all boil down to trust. I could never trust that parent again. I would always wonder what is this parent doing or has done.

The OP should count her lucky stars that the parent DID say something though.

[TomCopeland]

DCAP Plans

Wait, let's be clear. Is this truely REIMBURSEMENT from her employer? As in she pays you, but the employer pays her back making her Daycare FREE? In that case, it could be she is putting down more than she pays you and pocketing the extra.

OR is she on one of those flexible spending plans where you can have it set up on your paychecks to deduct pre-set amounts for child care (and medical and some other stuff), and it will not be part of your income for tax purposes? Because if that's the case, there's no extra to pocket and it's just a simple form that requires my signature once a month, and is really no big deal.

Just wanted to be clear.

I've not heard of a situation where the employer reimburses child care expenses to the parent as free child care.

If a parent has a flexible spending plan this means that the parent has set aside some of her salary to pay for child care expenses. Money is taken out of her paycheck and put into her flexible spending plan. When the parent submits child care receipts to the employer the employer takes money out of the parent's plan and gives it to the parent. None of the money that flows through this plan is taxable income to the parents. However, any money a provider receives from the parent is taxable to the provider!

Let's say a parent sets aside $400 a month into her plan. The provider charges $350 a month (I know this is low!) and the parent submits a receipt to the employer (signed by the parent, not the provider) for $400. The employer pays the parent $400 and the parent pockets the $50. This happens and it is illegal.