Split Parents/State Pay Question

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I have had 2 schoolage girls in my care for 2 years...their mother and father have been split for a while. They never went to court for child support, she doesn't want to because they get along and he pays her when he's working...his job depends on the weather and sometimes they run out and he's not working for a month or more at a time.

Well lately she's having a hard time and 2 times in the past couple of months she couldn't afford to pay me on time. She is one that has ALWAYS paid me on time and feels terrible that she doesn't have it.

I offered her the first time to go apply for childcare assistance, I know she will qualify. She didn't want to because she was afraid the state would make her take her X-husband to court for child support and she really doesn't want to take him for whatever reason.

He hasn't paid her anything in the past month because he has been out of work. I told her again she should give social services a call and see if she will qualify and explain her situation. I'm not sure how they work in a split parent situation...do any of you know if they will make her take her X to court for back support before she will qualify for childcare assistance?

[QualiTcare]

she is right - they will make her go to court before she can get childcare assistance. when i applied for my daughter several years ago, they said i had to "cooperate with child support" and when i told them that her father willingly gave me money and was a great dad - it didn't matter to them. i asked if i could give him receipts and use those? NOPE! it had to go through the court! it's typical of the state programs - they punish the people who are actually trying and the people who aren't trying and don't care get away with murder. that's the government for u.

i ended up telling my daughter's father that i didn't WANT to take him to court bc i knew he didn't deserve to have to go through it, but in order for me to get help so i could finish school, i HAD to. he understood. of course, since i chose to work, and got child support, i ended up not even being eligible, but if i had sat at home and done jack squat (because i was a student) i could've gotten free childcare. it's sickening, really. i was even told by a case worker that i'd be better off quitting my job. had i done that, i would've gotten free childcare, food stamps, and probably a check (welfare) on top of that, but being the silly person that i am - i held a job, so i remained broke and cared for the children of people who drained the system.

[MarinaVanessa]

i ended up telling my daughter's father that i didn't WANT to take him to court bc i knew he didn't deserve to have to go through it, but in order for me to get help so i could finish school, i HAD to. he understood. of course, since i chose to work, and got child support, i ended up not even being eligible, but if i had sat at home and done jack squat (because i was a student) i could've gotten free childcare. it's sickening, really. i was even told by a case worker that i'd be better off quitting my job. had i done that, i would've gotten free childcare, food stamps, and probably a check (welfare) on top of that, but being the silly person that i am - i held a job, so i remained broke and cared for the children of people who drained the system.

Yes, unfortunately QualiTCare is right. If she wants to apply to any state assistance whatsoever she'll have to provide proper documentation which would include child support arrangements.

I agree with QualiTCare that the government would rather help the people that sit on their butts all day rather than the people that work hard and are trying to get my on an honest days work.

I live in CA and our good 'ol governer just cut childcare subsidy programs so that he could make budget. All of the people that were working and had jobs but couldn't afford to pay all of their childcare (the people that had co-payments) just recently got a 2-week notice saying that they were cut from the program. ALL OF THEM!! I know a provider that lost 4 clients all at once. The people that were trying to get off of assistance and earn an honest living got screwed meanwhile the people that have been jobless and "job searching" for years get to stay home and collect welfare, food stamps, wic AND get daycare paid for in full while they "look for jobs". Not saying that all people that have no jobs are like this but I know people that have been on subsidy for years and are supposed to be "looking for work" but they aren't. I guess that's what happens when people vote for a governer that used to be a movie star.

[Blackcat31]

I don't know anything about state laws regarding child support but I do know my sister is single with two children. She gets Child Care Assistance through the state program and the father of her children pays her directly for any support. They NEVER went to court and never had a support order. They just agreed to x amount and it works for both of them. The only thing the state required from her to get child care assistance is to report the money so it is recorded as income when figuring out if and how much assistance she qualifies for. So it is worth checking with the state about laws and rules.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Thanks for your responses...she said she found out she won't have to take him to court, but I think that was from someone she knew and not the state themselves...I told her to call today and ask and get an application and she is going to.

I hope for her sake she gets this because she has a genuine heart and tries to make ends meet by herself and when her X isn't working, she gets nothing. It will really stink for me this time of year because in the county she lives in I only get paid once a month from them and they hold back a month, so I go 2 months with no pay...but I know what it is like working and having a big chunk go to daycare. It's not easy.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Ok, just a little perturbed right now at this mom..don't get me wrong, I like her and have never had issues with her...BUT this is the second incodent that she couldn't afford to pay me in the past 2 months..both times I mentioned looking into child care subsidy..this time I have mentioned it to her at least 3 times (asking her if she contacted them) and she said "not yet, I'll have to call maybe tonight when I get home or tomorrow". She was just crying at my doorstep on Friday because she couldn't afford to pay me...don't you think she could of taken at least her break or lunch time today to call and ask a couple of questions and get an application started?

Meanwhile I have no pay from last week..it just bothers me....just thinking that if I was the parent taking my kids to care and couldn't afford to give my daycare provider money, that's the first thing I would do is let my provider know I'm working on this situation...a phone call only takes a few mins.

I get stressed when I don't know if I'm going to be paid or not...how would they like to work a whole week and their employer say "I'm sorry, we ran out of money this week, you won't be paid and I have no idea when we will have it".

[SandeeAR]

I get stressed when I don't know if I'm going to be paid or not...how would they like to work a whole week and their employer say "I'm sorry, we ran out of money this week, you won't be paid and I have no idea when we will have it".

This is why I have parents pay the week ahead, before dropping off thier kids.