Rewarding Children For Things Which They Should Be Expected To Do?

[canadiancare]

I have a 3 year old who won't do the next step of anything until I acknowledge that she has completed a task. I get "look I did it" over and over again until I say "good job". It gets really tiring and her mother uses OTT flowery and profuse praise "you are such a clever girl, oh you are mommy's biggest girl"

I have said in front of the mother that I don't praise mastered and expected skills.

there is a comedian who has a sketch about people needing reinforcement for doing what they are supposed to do "hey I graduated high school" "I got a job and I take care of my family"

Husband works in a very professional setting with highly educated people. He says you'd be surprised at how many young workers expect "gold stars" just for showing up and doing their job.

[kindertouch]

I reward my daughter sometimes like a trip to the store to buy what she needs or some sort of play time whenever I feel like rewarding her. I don't want it to be a regular process but I do agree of rewarding a kid sometimes if he/she did something good as long as the reward comes from the heart or doesn't cost so expensive at all.

[Unregistered]

I'll reward my kids with maybe choco bars when we go to the store (mine are older) but most times I don't. I don't want them to expect a reward everytime they do something good. Imagine when they become adults.

You mean like the ones I seem to know anymore? Self-entitled, spoiled and always expecting something for nothing? Sounds like a lot of daycare parents I have had to deal with!


I do not reward for everything. Some things you just have to do in life without expectation of anything in return. Life will be a big slap in the face later for my kids if I don't show them now that not everything they do in life gets them something

[Cat Herder]

Sometimes this is more about the parent's needs.

"I am such a good mommy, look what my kid can do!!! Let's go celebrate somewhere public where I can have an audience...."

The clincher: The photo op's will be posted to FB before the kid is out of the store..... "Look what I did for my kid!!! I am so awesome!" happyface

Other times Moms may simply need ANY reason to celebrate. The monotony and drudgery, when dealing with a kid who is normally like nails on a chalkboard, requires a few bright spots .

Yep, I went there.... we all know at least one kid like this. ::::

[countrymom]

Sometimes this is more about the parent's needs.

"I am such a good mommy, look what my kid can do!!! Let's go celebrate somewhere public where I can have an audience...."

The clincher: The photo op's will be posted to FB before the kid is out of the store..... "Look what I did for my kid!!! I am so awesome!" happyface

Other times Moms may simply need ANY reason to celebrate. The monotony and drudgery, when dealing with a kid who is normally like nails on a chalkboard, requires a few bright spots .

Yep, I went there.... we all know at least one kid like this. ::::

I have this mom (not a dcp) who posts all the time about her kid. I now wonder (your post made me think) that she is looking for approval from people, because people like the photo but sometimes its out of control.

[Cat Herder]

I have this mom (not a dcp) who posts all the time about her kid. I now wonder (your post made me think) that she is looking for approval from people, because people like the photo but sometimes its out of control.

If the grandparents, aunts and uncles are not the one's commenting.. the odd's are pretty good.....

[DaycareMom]

Sometimes this is more about the parent's needs.

"I am such a good mommy, look what my kid can do!!! Let's go celebrate somewhere public where I can have an audience...."

The clincher: The photo op's will be posted to FB before the kid is out of the store..... "Look what I did for my kid!!! I am so awesome!" happyface

Other times Moms may simply need ANY reason to celebrate. The monotony and drudgery, when dealing with a kid who is normally like nails on a chalkboard, requires a few bright spots .

Yep, I went there.... we all know at least one kid like this. ::::

I used to have a DCM who would post literally every time she took a photo of her kids. She would always make it "look" like she was a great mom, but did everything she could to pawn them off on others because she could not control them. They were here for over 60 hrs/week and she would never keep them home on her days off or pick them up early if she was let out, and never kept them home when they were sick (which is why I ended up terming).

Don't they understand posting photos of your children on FB doesn't make you a good parent?