Am I Wrong?? Interview Amd A Two Year Old...

[LaLa1923]

I had a great interview with a mom of a two year old the other night. I felt like it went really well, but there were a few red flags. Please let me know if I'm wrong...

1. Mom says she absolutely loves her current daycare provider, she's really shaping them into little adults.

I said, "I work on shaping the whole child, and I give them plenty of opportunities to be children."

2. Mom asks, "Do you do circle time?"

I said, yes, but my current group consists of 2's and under. I do not force them to participate, but I do give them the opportunity to.

Mom then says, "Well my current provider makes them all sit on their little x's. I don't know how she does it!"

These were a few things that I thought were a little strange. She wanted to know if I engage the kids or if it's mostly free play. I told her we do have free play and some structured activities. But again, no one is forced to sit and participate.

She is looking for a new provider because her current provider will not offer her a flexible closing time. She is willing to pay for a later closing time, but the provider insists on her family time. She said she does understand, but she's a scientist and she really needs the option to pick up later.

What do you guys think?

[Cradle2crayons]

I had a great interview with a mom of a two year old the other night. I felt like it went really well, but there were a few red flags. Please let me know if I'm wrong...

1. Mom says she absolutely loves her current daycare provider, she's really shaping them into little adults.

I said, "I work on shaping the whole child, and I give them plenty of opportunities to be children."

2. Mom asks, "Do you do circle time?"

I said, yes, but my current group consists of 2's and under. I do not force them to participate, but I do give them the opportunity to.

Mom then says, "Well my current provider makes them all sit on their little x's. I don't know how she does it!"

These were a few things that I thought were a little strange. She wanted to know if I engage the kids or if it's mostly free play. I told her we do have free play and some structured activities. But again, no one is forced to sit and participate.

She is looking for a new provider because her current provider will not offer her a flexible closing time. She is willing to pay for a later closing time, but the provider insists on her family time. She said she does understand, but she's a scientist and she really needs the option to pick up later.

What do you guys think?

Those don't sound like huge huge red flags to me, as long as mom understands that every program isn't the same and she's on the same page.

Does the other provider require nap time as well??

[LaLa1923]

Those don't sound like huge huge red flags to me, as long as mom understands that every program isn't the same and she's on the same page.

Does the other provider require nap time as well??

Yes, she does have nap time.

She is coming for another interview, I hope she does understand that I run a different program.

[melilley]

I don't really see any red flags, but it does seem like the mom prefers "preschool" type learning over play based (which I assume you are). I do the same as you, I have circle time, but it's not forced, same for art, music, etc...

I would just reiterate that you do give choices and nothing is forced.

I don't like that she said "she's really shaping them into little adults". I really wish people would just let their kids be kids.

[TwinKristi]

I would reiterate at your 2nd interview what you said before, that you don't force participation. If her DD wants to participate that's great! Maybe she will set a good example for the others as they get older and able to sit. When things are done every day they're much easier for even under 2's to understand. I have a DCB who has to have a big ritual to go to bed at home. But here he knows we lay down on the mats and go to sleep. He slept for 3hrs today! He also is very picky with eating at home but eats 2 bowls of dinner here. Kids get used to a routine and rituals for the day.
I wouldn't see these things as red flags per se, but more areas to address. If you already offer a circle time and some kids don't participate than what's the big deal to her? If she's older than some of your other kids maybe it would be a good idea to make her your helper with circle time and set a good example for the others. I get the circle time dilemma with littles, mine are all newly 2 or under and even reading a book is difficult sometimes. One boy shouts and wants to smack the book and tear the pages, one boy won't even sit with us, and my DS wants to sit on my lap! LOL it's not exactly fun! If someone wanted me to incorporate something I don't normally do because that's what they had before than I would probably either try and incorporate it or say we're not a good fit depending on what they're asking. If you already do circle it shouldn't be an issue. What that includes will vary from provider to provider and you won't get the same format in different places because of the kids who attend!

[melilley]

I have a DCB who has to have a big ritual to go to bed at home. But here he knows we lay down on the mats and go to sleep. He slept for 3hrs today! He also is very picky with eating at home but eats 2 bowls of dinner here. Kids get used to a routine and rituals for the day.

Isn't it funny how kids won't (or will) do things at home, but will at dc. I was also going to say that even though some of the kids don't sit, some do actually get what you are saying. All my kids, but one, are 2 and under. One dcb always gets up while we are doing the circle activities and I always thought that he wasn't interested. Well one day mom asked what we count to and I said 10 and she said that at home they only go to 5 and he was counting to 10 by himself! Or kids will randomly sing songs at home that they hear here, even though it seems that they aren't listening.

[coolconfidentme]

I would go with what your gut tells you to do.

[Play Care]

I don't really see any red flags, but it does seem like the mom prefers "preschool" type learning over play based (which I assume you are). I do the same as you, I have circle time, but it's not forced, same for art, music, etc...

I would just reiterate that you do give choices and nothing is forced.

I don't like that she said "she's really shaping them into little adults". I really wish people would just let their kids be kids.

I wonder what she meant by it - because I do understand the concept of "raising adults, not kids" and somewhat agree with it. I'm not saying kids shouldn't be kids, but I think it helps to take in the whole picture. There are parents who don't think their child needs to say "please" or "thank you" because "they're only 2!" or they shouldn't be encouraged to think of other's feelings or needs because "they're children!" And my personal favorite "oh, we never tell our child NO! because we don't want to put limits on our child's potential!"

[countrymom]

sounds like mom wants a well behaved child, like to be seen and not heard kinda thing.

also what does she mean that she wants flexible pick up time. I would not let it be that flexible.

[melilley]

I wonder what she meant by it - because I do understand the concept of "raising adults, not kids" and somewhat agree with it. I'm not saying kids shouldn't be kids, but I think it helps to take in the whole picture. There are parents who don't think their child needs to say "please" or "thank you" because "they're only 2!" or they shouldn't be encouraged to think of other's feelings or needs because "they're children!" And my personal favorite "oh, we never tell our child NO! because we don't want to put limits on our child's potential!"

I see what you're saying!

I guess I was thinking of a dcm that I have when I saw the shaping them into little adults. Her 3 yo used to go here, but left for formal preschool and now I have her 15 mo. ds. She is a nice lady, but she just graduated with a degree in Education with an emphasis in special education and knows everything (and her sons are tested for everything, but that's a different story). Anyways, she always expected her 3 yo ds to be perfect. Any little thing that I told her that he would do,m even though it was developmentally appropriate for his age, she would turn around and turn it into something huge and dcb would often times get into trouble-even when I already talked to him about it and dealt with it and she say "we aren't that family or we don't do that", he will sit and eat dinner in his room . He wasn't allowed to be a kid for the most part. I finally stopped telling her things.

I agree, kids do need to learn appropriate behavior starting out young. I can't believe someone actually told you that about telling their kids no!