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Daycare parent's when their child who is over a year older than my dd who is 21 months that I believe my dd is ready to potty train. She is vocal and lets me know when she pees and poops. Wants changed right away and is able to take pants down and off. She can sit still and focus and can follow directions. Dcb is 3 and has never once wanted changed when he has messed in a diaper. He will sit in it until you decide to check and or change him. He is hardly vocal at all. Cannot take down pants or put pants on himself and cannot focus for more than 1 or 2 minutes and cannot follow directions at all. He just stares at you like you talk in a foreign language. The parents seem upset as it is that not only dd but other kids dcb's age and younger pass him by on the milestones. I have spoken several times about how every child is different and reaches milestones at different times. But I worry they will be upset when they realize that dcb will be the only dck left not potty trained and he is older than several.
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I wouldn't bring it up to them unless they mention it. They may not even realize that she is potty training. If they do then I would just say that every child reaches milestones in their own time, and that the "normal" range for potty training readiness is very broad (under 2 to over 4 in my experience) and if they are worried about his progress they may want to mention it to their ped and get his advice. -
Why do you need to tell other DCPs about your DD? Every child is different and no 2 will be the exact same, even twins! I'm not sure why its any of their business who is and who isn't potty trained. Are they trying anything at home or just hoping he'll see others and learn? I "help" with potty training but I don't do it myself. The parents have to be ACTIVELY involved in the process and 100% committed at home in order for it to work at daycare. I had a little boy who was almost 3 and about to start preschool. He could talk and communicate his needs and such, but I think DCPs were just lazy about it at home. Mom would bring him in a diaper, which I would take off, and he would be fine all day here. But then when mom took him home she put a diaper on him again.
But if a child isn't ready, no amount of force or persuasion will work. My DS is 23mos and has been taking his diaper off and going potty but doesn't get the whole "put it in the toilet" deal and goes on the floor! :confused: I feel bad putting him in a diaper if he doesn't want to be but I've had my steam cleaner out all weekend trying to get him to connect potty time with the toilet. I even have a little potty which he thinks is a toy! LOL But anyway, every child is different and maybe find a good website with info you can print out for parents or the 3 day method they can try at home?
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I wouldn't say anything other then reassure them that this is completely normal. I would not talk about any other child's progress in front of them (if I can help it) or with them (that should be a given) when they bring it up I'd probably say something like "he's not there yet, but soon! Today he did x, y, and z really well! Have a great night!" That said if you DO have concerns over developmental milestones I would make sure you are documenting those. I've never had a boy younger than 3 show any interest in potty training so unless there are other issues I wouldn't be concerned.Comment
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These dc parents are always making comments when they see or hear other dcks including dd doing things their son cannot or will not do. Their older child is behind in many things also and they make comments when older kids including older dd do things better than their older child. These parents are nice to the other kids but tend to stay a while at pick ups and drop offs. Also their hours change a lot so pick up and drop off times tend to change weekly so they come when kids are doing more than just waiting for parents.Comment
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These parents see the other kids doing things their child doesn't do yet or can't do and they make a lot of comments about them. It is the same with their older child and the older kids here. They talk about how dcb and dcg should be doing that. Why aren't they doing this yet? Its constant and these parent's tend to stick around at pickups and dropoffs so they see and hear the kids doing thingsComment
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Ah, I see! My parents don't hang around at pick up, so they usually don't hear/see what other kids are doing. I did have a similar situation this past summer because my 3 yo dcb was not showing any potty interest and another 3 yo girl was...though in my case I actually feel the DCG was pushed into it because she still has more bathroom issues then any other child I've ever had. The 3 yo dcb we were stressing over? Completely trained with NO accidents...
That said I pretty mush did what I advised in my OP - keep potty talk out of it as much as I could :
: and stress the positive things. If the parents are really concerned I might tell them to talk to their ped and see what they say.
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