Families Not Prepared For Attending Daycare

[TwinKristi]

Same here. I have a big problem with daycare parents younger than my own children coming in and trying to tell me how to do things. I sent one on her way because during interview, she asked several times if I was sure I knew how to make formula. Then she wanted to watch me do it.

GET. OUT!

This reminds me of when I worked at a center-type gym daycare and was primarily in the infant room with the under 1's. I was the 2nd oldest person working there, the oldest in the infant room, had the most children of my own (5 at the time) and more experience with childcare and diapering than the other employees combined. When someone complained about bringing their infant from the gym to the Ped and upon taking off their diaper found dried feces all over they were mortified. They made a huge stink about it and everyone had to be supervised changing a diaper to be sure we all knew how. I had a girl, seriously 23yrs old with NO children of her own, supervise me changing a baby's diaper. I was like really? You think **I** don't know how to change a diaper?? They would call me in the infant room if someone used cloth diapers because no one else knew how to change them. It was soooo lame. I would have the same response if someone questioned my ability to mix a bottle of formula. I've mixed more bottles of formula than all my daycare parent combined!

[permanentvacation]

I don't know if it's because I have moved to a different area or what, but I have noticed that daycare providers don't get the same respect as an experienced professional as we did years ago.

Years ago, parents never questioned my ways of operating my business, working with the children, feeding the children, nap times, etc. And they often asked me for advice and my opinion because they knew that I had years of experience and education in the field of child care.

But now, I have young 20 year olds telling me what to do and how to do things with children. I just keep looking at them and saying that I have owned a licensed childcare for 25 years, have taken 26 years worth of child care classes and have raised about 100 or so children between the ages of 6 weeks and 12 years old. I truly believe that I know how to do my job!

[christine19720]

I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.

It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat.

I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired.

I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home.

I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things!

Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc.

And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!!

It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare!


These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare.

Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere?

It seems these kinds of families have evolved to be more the rule than the exception here in the last 5 or 10 years...... I could have written your post....

[Lucy]

I've been thinking more about this water issue, so I looked it up on a couple sites.

http://www.eatright.org/kids/article.aspx?id=6442470651

and

http://www.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/kids-teens/choose-water-as-a-drink-kids.aspx

They suggest 1 liter of water per day for 4 to 8 year olds. That's two of those 16.9 ounce bottled waters you buy at the store.

I would estimate that during the time they are at my house on a no-school day, they probably drink equivalent to one of this size bottled water. (Some days more, some days less.)

They are here anywhere from 8 to 10 hours, and they are at home (awake) about 4 or 5 hours. So I have them DOUBLE the time their parents do, but they only drink HALF of what is recommended for their bodies.

I read on here all the time that certain providers insist on serving only organic foods, only homemade meals, only healthy foods, no sugary snacks, veggies at every lunch, etc., etc. They do this because it's what's healthy for the kids. They do this because many (let's face it -- MOST) of the kids are not fed in a healthy manner at home. They insist on this for the kids' sake. It's what's best FOR THE KIDS. They wouldn't have it any other way.

So what I can't figure out is, if some of you are willing to take the extra time and cost to provide this, even if the parents don't, then I can't reconcile why the next logical step wouldn't be to encourage the water that is also so important for good health and well-being.

Disclaimers:

*Don't yell at me.
*I'm not criticizing in the least.
*I'm just bringing up a topic that strikes my interest at the moment.
*I welcome and respect any thoughts that are different than mine.
*I acknowledge that I currently have ages 5-10, and that most of you have youngers. But I provide all-day-available sippies for youngers too, when I have them.
*No, they don't walk around with water. It stays put, but is always available.
*I acknowledge that the posters above who say that water is only for snack time may or may not be the same as the organic/homemade/healthy-only lunch people, but I brought that up because it's what I read on here a lot, and I couldn't reconcile that with not encouraging water.
*This is just a talking point. I don't claim it to be THE perfect answer by any means.
*Don't yell at me.
*I acknowledge that I said 'don't yell at me' twice.

[Cradle2crayons]

I've been thinking more about this water issue, so I looked it up on a couple sites.

http://www.eatright.org/kids/article.aspx?id=6442470651

and

http://www.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/kids-teens/choose-water-as-a-drink-kids.aspx

They suggest 1 liter of water per day for 4 to 8 year olds. That's two of those 16.9 ounce bottled waters you buy at the store.

I would estimate that during the time they are at my house on a no-school day, they probably drink equivalent to one of this size bottled water. (Some days more, some days less.)

They are here anywhere from 8 to 10 hours, and they are at home (awake) about 4 or 5 hours. So I have them DOUBLE the time their parents do, but they only drink HALF of what is recommended for their bodies.

I read on here all the time that certain providers insist on serving only organic foods, only homemade meals, only healthy foods, no sugary snacks, veggies at every lunch, etc., etc. They do this because it's what's healthy for the kids. They do this because many (let's face it -- MOST) of the kids are not fed in a healthy manner at home. They insist on this for the kids' sake. It's what's best FOR THE KIDS. They wouldn't have it any other way.

So what I can't figure out is, if some of you are willing to take the extra time and cost to provide this, even if the parents don't, then I can't reconcile why the next logical step wouldn't be to encourage the water that is also so important for good health and well-being.

Disclaimers:

*Don't yell at me.
*I'm not criticizing in the least.
*I'm just bringing up a topic that strikes my interest at the moment.
*I welcome and respect any thoughts that are different than mine.
*I acknowledge that I currently have ages 5-10, and that most of you have youngers. But I provide all-day-available sippies for youngers too, when I have them.
*No, they don't walk around with water. It stays put, but is always available.
*I acknowledge that the posters above who say that water is only for snack time may or may not be the same as the organic/homemade/healthy-only lunch people, but I brought that up because it's what I read on here a lot, and I couldn't reconcile that with not encouraging water.
*This is just a talking point. I don't claim it to be THE perfect answer by any means.
*Don't yell at me.
*I acknowledge that I said 'don't yell at me' twice.

Yes, as I said in my previous post. That 1 liter recommended though includes total water intake, including that found in foods (fruits etc) and those found in other beverages like milk etc. so that's 38 or so total ounces in all sources. Which, according to the "experts" leaves about 12-14 oz per day they should be receiving at daycare. Which is done at two snack times. And I'm assuming they drink some liquid at home which should be the parents job since they are home anywhere from 12 to 18 hours.

No yelling needed. Just as I said my previous posts.

[Angelsj]

I leave water out on the table for them, but I will say they are typically drunk in a single shot, then refilled an hour or so later. If for some reason they are not, when the first kiddo asks for more, I scoop up all the cups, rinse and refill.
I guess that sort of puts me in the middle.
As to drinking from other's cups, they just don't. And they are WAY more protective of their cups than I am. If someone else even touches their cup, they are all over it. ::

[Play Care]

When I had water avalible, I had kids drinking from the wrong cups (on purpose ) kids spitting water all over (on purpose ) kids gargling with water (again, on purpose )

So if a child comes to me mid morning and claims thirst, I will pour a little water in a cup and they have to sit right with me while drinking it. I've also noticed kids claiming thirst in order to get out of activities they don't like - kids who want to come inside after a couple of minutes, or who want to get out of cleaning up. Just like anything else, I do try to hold a child off when I strongly suspect the motive isn't thirst, just as I wouldn't feed them lunch at 10:30 because they say they are hungry.

[Cradle2crayons]

When I had water avalible, I had kids drinking from the wrong cups (on purpose ) kids spitting water all over (on purpose ) kids gargling with water (again, on purpose )

So if a child comes to me mid morning and claims thirst, I will pour a little water in a cup and they have to sit right with me while drinking it. I've also noticed kids claiming thirst in order to get out of activities they don't like - kids who want to come inside after a couple of minutes, or who want to get out of cleaning up. Just like anything else, I do try to hold a child off when I strongly suspect the motive isn't thirst, just as I wouldn't feed them lunch at 10:30 because they say they are hungry.

lovethis

[cheerfuldom]

Same here. I have a big problem with daycare parents younger than my own children coming in and trying to tell me how to do things. I sent one on her way because during interview, she asked several times if I was sure I knew how to make formula. Then she wanted to watch me do it.

GET. OUT!

oh my word, I would have been rolling my eyes here. "you just scoop the powder into the water and then sake the bottle to mix.....shoot, a monkey could do it!" you think they would have been offended if I said that? ::

[Cradle2crayons]

oh my word, I would have been rolling my eyes here. "you just scoop the powder into the water and then sake the bottle to mix.....shoot, a monkey could do it!" you think they would have been offended if I said that? ::

Nooooooooo I'm sure they wouldn't have been offended.

But I would have said very seriously "duh, it's three scoops of formula for every two ounces of water" and then watch them

[countrymom]

my seasoned parents don't even question me, heck sometimes I have to question them. but its true, its the younger parents that just make me shake my head (ok, some are really good) but for the most part I just can't comply what they want.

[MyAngels]

Nooooooooo I'm sure they wouldn't have been offended.

But I would have said very seriously "duh, it's three scoops of formula for every two ounces of water" and then watch them

::::

[Cradle2crayons]

::::

Or I could have said "please show me, I don't know how to read the can and I fed my own two kids whole milk at birth so I've never made formula"

[Crazy8]

well I have to say after reading through this thread I'm glad its not just me. I feel like I am so old saying "parents today" - I'm "only" 40. But its so true, in the last 5 years or so the dynamics of parents have changed so much. The not saying "no" to kids is the worst. I had a parent who's child had a meltdown in my driveway because I didn't put a sticker on his daily sheet that day - wouldn't you know the very next day she bought a pack of stickers to keep in her car for him. REALLY? How about just telling your child no, that you can't expect something every single day, when you get one its a treat?? Now I just stopped doing it entirely.

[Blackcat31]

well I have to say after reading through this thread I'm glad its not just me. I feel like I am so old saying "parents today" - I'm "only" 40. But its so true, in the last 5 years or so the dynamics of parents have changed so much. The not saying "no" to kids is the worst. I had a parent who's child had a meltdown in my driveway because I didn't put a sticker on his daily sheet that day - wouldn't you know the very next day she bought a pack of stickers to keep in her car for him. REALLY? How about just telling your child no, that you can't expect something every single day, when you get one its a treat?? Now I just stopped doing it entirely.

I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but :: :: :: :: ::