DD Is In Tears All Day Everyday

[Brooksie]

I'm at my wits end. All I hear from DD (3 in less than 1 month) is whining and crying. She gets so frustrated and grabs things and does things that she knows are bad choices. I don't know what to do. Everything is a problem with her. We work on problem solving all day and sometimes I do here her using it but other times she just loses it and freaks out.

Just a minute ago we were putting our puzzles away and she cleaned up hers and dcg (3) was looking for a piece that one of my little guys had been playing with (not a small piece) and when we finally found it dcg tried to put the piece back so we could put the puzzles away. Well DD SCREAMED "NO MEEEEEE"! and tried to snatch the piece away. DCG was holding strong and said "No I want to clean my puzzle up. I was having a turn with this." And as I get ready to say H****, A**** was using that puzzle and wants to clean it up", dd put her hands over the spot where the piece went and broke out in tears. I took her over to the couch and told her she can come join the group when she is calm and ready to make good choices. She calmed down and rejoined and we moved onto this clip on princess's we have.

Well she wanted Rapunzel (we have 2 but one doesn't have a crown) and she wanted the one with a crown. Last week she was playing rough and broke her legs off so its in the trash. I reminded her that she broke it, but we had another one just the same. Well she LOST it and was in tears again. Then other dcg picks up Ariel out of the bag and DD loses it even more and snatches it from her. So again I marched her back over to the couch and put on Little Bear (not something I like to do during dc hours) and told her she needed to sit here and calm down. She could come back when she was calm.

She calmed down and was watching her shows and then I heard her start crying again, I went around the corner to see what was wrong and she was sputtering so bad I couldn't even understand her. Something about dcg playing with Ariel..

She knows how to take turns. She knows hot to solve problems. We work on this kind of stuff all the time. I honestly think she has something going on emotionally because sometimes she's totally fine, other times she is a wreck. Each episode last an hour or so and then she's fine. Then again in an hour or so she has another break down. I'm so frustrated and my hearts breaking for her... Any ideas?

[Cat Herder]

I try to avoid posts about providers own kids because I am a mama bear and assume everyone else is too .

I do want to send :hug::hug: because this age was the hardest with my own DD, the teenage years have been a breeze compared to 3-4.

The best investment I made with her at that time was after dinner walks .... alone together.... It is both free and invaluable. The conversation and bonding time will make most of these control issues and attention demands disappear.

lovethis

[daycare]

about the same age as your DD my son went through the same thing.

the way that I resolved it was when it was nap time I laid him down an hour later than the rest of the group and spent some quality time one on one with him. We also did it in the morning time too when we had a chance, if it was not time with me, it was time with daddy.

we also set up a space in his room of toys that he did not have to share. This rule stayed in place as long as they stayed in his room, but if he brought them out to the DC area, he had to share them. when I could see his frustrations I would say hey I have a secret toy for you in your room, why don't you go play with it. I would then pull out a toy he had not used in a few weeks/months. some times it worked sometimes it did not.

as he got older, it was special time wit the ipad to play educational games alone or with me.

It did work. He really did not want to be a dck, he still doesn't. He is now in kindy and he told me about a week after he started kinder, mommy I still don't have to be at your school do I? I just want you to be my mommy. I broke my heart a little, but I gave him what he wanted.

THen and now when he is with the DC, he comes and goes in and out of our activities as he wants. Hands down he was the hardest kid in my DC when he was younger. He wanted to be in control of everything because he wanted to be just like his mommy who was....

big hugs to you, I know how frustrating and hard it can be. perhaps trying something like this will help out...:hug:

[hope]

My Dd was so moody and always cried from the age of 3 to 4 and a half. I was so concerned I asked the school if she should see a therapist. Her teacher told me that most girls this age are just very emotional. I did make an effort to spend some extra one on one time with her and it did help. Honestly, I don't think you have anything to worry about. It sounds like you are a very caring and loving mom. This what she needs most. Hang in there Nd I'm sure it will just be a phase

[Brooksie]

about the same age as your DD my son went through the same thing.

the way that I resolved it was when it was nap time I laid him down an hour later than the rest of the group and spent some quality time one on one with him. We also did it in the morning time too when we had a chance, if it was not time with me, it was time with daddy.

we also set up a space in his room of toys that he did not have to share. This rule stayed in place as long as they stayed in his room, but if he brought them out to the DC area, he had to share them. when I could see his frustrations I would say hey I have a secret toy for you in your room, why don't you go play with it. I would then pull out a toy he had not used in a few weeks/months. some times it worked sometimes it did not.

as he got older, it was special time wit the ipad to play educational games alone or with me.

It did work. He really did not want to be a dck, he still doesn't. He is now in kindy and he told me about a week after he started kinder, mommy I still don't have to be at your school do I? I just want you to be my mommy. I broke my heart a little, but I gave him what he wanted.

THen and now when he is with the DC, he comes and goes in and out of our activities as he wants. Hands down he was the hardest kid in my DC when he was younger. He wanted to be in control of everything because he wanted to be just like his mommy who was....

big hugs to you, I know how frustrating and hard it can be. perhaps trying something like this will help out...:hug:

This totally made me tear up. I think you're right. I do have her room set up super special. Her room is a magical place. I went all out. But she doesn't go up there much during the day. Maybe that needs to be a more apparent option for her. I do like the idea of putting her down a bit later than every one else, maybe we will try that today. She's just so darned loud. We do spend extra time snugging in the morning but with the time change and being so busy lately, honestly I think I nod off more than snuggle. Maybe I just need to **** it up and get out of bed.

I think because of her extreme behavior and crazy mood swings she gets a lot of heat during the day. I'm getting ready to lose the dcg that is closest to her age, every one else is younger, and maybe that will help take off some of the pressure she has to fit into the DC and be able to settle back into being at home with mommy. Thanks for the suggestions.

[SunnyDay]

I also experienced some if these things with my son, it is nice to read these posts and see that I am not alone! He will be 4 in January and I feel like his behavior is FINALLY starting to get better. He is starting to give in more when another child wants something, and realize it isn't worth fighting over.

[NeedaVaca]

Yes, this is a tough age so part of this behavior is simply age related. I also wonder if she is partly feeding off of your stress? Based on previous posts...I would make sure you do everything you can to keep her from seeing that, enjoy time with her in the evenings Kids really do pick up on our emotions and it could be what's going on here.

[Brooksie]

Yes, this is a tough age so part of this behavior is simply age related. I also wonder if she is partly feeding off of your stress? Based on previous posts...I would make sure you do everything you can to keep her from seeing that, enjoy time with her in the evenings Kids really do pick up on our emotions and it could be what's going on here.

I've thought about that and it does concern me. I'm trying to separate my stress from her but she is seriously miserable all the time. Its hard to manage. And her tone is so frustrating. She doesn't talk any more. She whines. Any she literally does everything we ask her not to do. I know a lot of it is the age but the extremes of her emotions concern me.

[Tdhmom]

Everything you said is my DD to a T!!! She'll be 3 in January. We have tv time for 30 min in the morning so I can clean up from breakfast and it gives everyone a chance to wake up. If I don't sit down with her for 10-15 min just to snuggle it's going to be a long day with her. I have a dcg that's very close in age and if I give dd any sort of attention the dcg wants the same attention for her. I try to look at it from her perspective and it probably feels like I'm not just her mommy and it breaks my heart, even on her bad days .
I'm getting better with her and trying to remember how it must feel having my attention split so many ways during the day so if there's a day she wants me to hold her for the 3 block walk to the school uphill :-/ I do it. Makes her feel special for a little bit.
It's very hard! I always tell my husband if I could term a child...it would be ours . Now my 4 yr old ds is the complete opposite. He is such an easy going kid and for the most part just goes with the flow. Need to have an easy one when we have a moody princess

[childcaremom]

:hug: My oldest was like this. It's not easy but it does get better!

[harperluu]

How much is she sleeping? My daughter is 4.5 years and is finally coming out of all her emotional frustration and crying. It started right around the age of 3.5, when she began to nap sporadically in the afternoon. We made a concerted effort to get her more sleep, by putting her to bed a little bit earlier in the evening and I had early comers at daycare choose quiet activities in the morning so she wouldn't be woken up too early. When these arrangements were successful in getting her more sleep, her behavior was greatly improved.

I strongly believe that lots of naughty behavior is a result of children not getting enough sleep. Three is primetime for children to start to resist bedtime, which can contribute. Even a half and hour more of sleep a night or during the day may make all the difference.

[Brooksie]

How much is she sleeping? My daughter is 4.5 years and is finally coming out of all her emotional frustration and crying. It started right around the age of 3.5, when she began to nap sporadically in the afternoon. We made a concerted effort to get her more sleep, by putting her to bed a little bit earlier in the evening and I had early comers at daycare choose quiet activities in the morning so she wouldn't be woken up too early. When these arrangements were successful in getting her more sleep, her behavior was greatly improved.

I strongly believe that lots of naughty behavior is a result of children not getting enough sleep. Three is primetime for children to start to resist bedtime, which can contribute. Even a half and hour more of sleep a night or during the day may make all the difference.

She sleeps pretty well. Generally asleep by 8:00 and wakes up between 6:30-7. Lately with the time change its around 5:30-6 and she crawled in bed with us at 2:30 this morning but went back to sleep until around 6. She does nap for about 2 hours every day.

[Laurel]

Sounds a lot like my grandson who just turned three last week. I think it is mostly the age but it is HARD.

I used to let my granddaughter go down for nap a bit later than everyone else and give her some one on one time but I had forgotten about it. Now I will do it with him. Sometimes he wakes up from nap earlier and we spend time together then.

Laurel

[Jack Sprat]

Our DD who is 4.5 was like this. She was so awful when the daycare kids were here. I understand your frustration! :hug:

Like the others I made a special time for her. At nap time we snuggled together for a bit, after dck left we snuggled more and read books just her and I. She is doing so much better now. Only issue now is she is a mother hen to all the kids and wants to teach them things and the 2 yr olds just couldn't be bothered with following her directions.

[Brooksie]

She's having another rough day today... Its just us and DCG, everyone else is out sick.

I just had to take DD upstairs and lay her down because she would not sit for lunch, hit DCG with a frying pan (a toy, but clearly watched too much tangled), threw DCGs lunch on the floor, threw the stickers in our OE Art center on the floor and would not calm down. I marched her upstairs and told her she was making bad choices and I asked her why..... I'm not sure what to make of it but what she said broke me heart..

She broke down sobbing. Told me she didn't mean to make bad choices and she was so sorry. She said there is a shadow downstairs that makes those choices and she doesn't like it. She said its just downstairs.. in the day care.. She begged me for a Mommy and Hazel day tomorrow. I almost broke down in tears.

I think the daycare is the problem. I also think she's battling herself. I was early onset Bipolar and started showing signs of it around her age... I think that's what the shadow is she is referring too.. How she doesn't mean to and shes sorry. She has NO impulse control what so ever and I'm seeing it more and more. The look on her face after she does things is almost as surprising to her as it is to us.

I'm wondering if I need to downsize my daycare... I'm already struggling financially because the space we rent is too high. I'm losing one of my families and thinking of terming another one. Maybe we can rent a smaller space and just take a couple infants (she does great with them) instead of kids her age so I can focus on her emotional toll its taking on her...


What do you guys think? I can't believe its gotten so bad for her. I started this business to enjoy the time I have with her before she goes to school and she's miserable.