Potty Training Questions

[JoseyJo]

1. DCB is 23 months and started here 2.5 months ago. When he started dcm said he was in pullups and mostly potty trained. From the beginning he has not EVER told me when he has to go. He doesn't ever go on his own. He doesn't say when he is wet, or poopy. If I ask him if he needs to go he always says no. But if I take him in the bathroom and tell him he has to try he will, and usually pees. We have potty breaks every 2 hours or so and he is dry about 1/2 the time and goes though 1-4 pu a day. He is also still pretty clumsy. He can get pants up and down about 1/2 the time, normally can get pu down but never can get it back up correctly. I have suggested to dcm that diapers may be better since he is going through so many every day and she is not interested. She said if anything she wants to move him to underwear Should I be doing anything different w/ him? Should I stop asking and just check/change his pu when I change the other in diapers?

2. DCG 18 mo started w/ us 1 month ago. Younger sis of a 4.5 yo we have had since he was 18 mo. Big bro potty trained very successfully at 2.25y but he was very much a people pleaser and she is the exact opposite. DCM sent me an email just now saying she is telling her when she has a poopy diaper so she thinks she is ready to start training and is going to start putting her on the potty at regular intervals DCG is NOT ready, cannot even take off her own shoes let alone her pants or a p/u. She never tells me when she is poopy and if I smell it and ask she always says no even when it's her. I am more than willing to help potty train her when she is ready, but I am not willing to take her in and undress her and put her on the potty even every 2 hours. What "rules" should I have? I can't really say she has to be able to tell me because dcb23m can't even talk and he is potty training...

[blandino]

DCB#1, I would tell his mom that he has to be dry two weeks in pull-ups before he can wear underwear. Also, I would just change his pull-ups when you change diapers. If she says anything, say that he isn't letting you know he needs to go.

DCG #2, I would tell mom that it is grey that she is starting at home and when she feel like can meet the milestones you have set, then she can start at your house.

Personally, I require children to be able to dress and unread themselves, verbalize the need to go, and act upon that need. Plus being dry at home for 2 weeks. I also am very clear that I will not time them.

I used to get vey frustrated by parents who think tier child is ready to train before they are. Then I took myself out of it, and just laid down some guidelines and those have to be met before any toilet training will take place with me. You think that awareness of a dirty diaper means ready to train, great let me know when they have been dry for two weeks at home. You think your 15 month old can potty train, great - let me know when they are good to start here. . It is much easier and less stressful when you set up clear indicators of when you consider a child ready to start toilet training at daycare.

I also am clear that all of the early stages of potty training need to be handled at home, and that when they are fully ready to train - then I become involved.

I actually posted a long time ago about a good response to parents when they say things very similar to the mom of DCG you posted about, and the consensus was to tell her "that sounds like a great start, please keep me updated on her progress at home, and when she is ready to fully toilet train we will begin here."

[Cradle2crayons]

DCB#1, I would tell his mom that he has to be dry two weeks in pull-ups before he can wear underwear. Also, I would just change his pull-ups when you change diapers. If she says anything, say that he isn't letting you know he needs to go.

DCG #2, I would tell mom that it is grey that she is starting at home and when she feel like can meet the milestones you have set, then she can start at your house.

Personally, I require children to be able to dress and unread themselves, verbalize the need to go, and act upon that need. Plus being dry at home for 2 weeks. I also am very clear that I will not time them.

I used to get vey frustrated by parents who think tier child is ready to train before they are. Then I took myself out of it, and just laid down some guidelines and those have to be met before any toilet training will take place with me. You think that awareness of a dirty diaper means ready to train, great let me know when they have been dry for two weeks at home. You think your 15 month old can potty train, great - let me know when they are good to start here. . It is much easier and less stressful when you set up clear indicators of when you consider a child ready to start toilet training at daycare.

I also am clear that all of the early stages of potty training need to be handled at home, and that when they are fully ready to train - then I become involved.

I actually posted a long time ago about a good response to parents when they say things very similar to the mom of DCG you posted about, and the consensus was to tell her "that sounds like a great start, please keep me updated on her progress at home, and when she is ready to fully toilet train we will begin here."

exactly this

I do NOT take kids potty every X HOURS.

I go over and give parents my potty training sheet at interview.

Parents can do what hey want on THEIR time but I explain that kids have more success when THEY are ready compared to only when he parents are ready.

I have a list of signs their child may be ready and encourage the parents to begin when those milestones are met. Including being able to identify when they are wet, soiled etc. being able to verbalized when they have to potty. Being able to get their clothes on and off, getting onto the toilet etc. these are all readiness signs.

I generally encourage parents to give children the words they need to use and teach them to identify when they are wet or dry. Also, help them learn how to remove clothes etc. when they have met all of the milestones, then they can start at home over a long weekend. Once that is done I will encourage dck to verbalized when they have to go etc and take them potty.

When they stay dry and are verbalizing here and removing clothes etc and are dry for TWO WEEKS here, then they can go into underwear here. Until that point they will remain in diapers here. No pull-ups are allowed here ever. Diapers only until they are dry two weeks and go into underwear.

[Laurel]

Accck, I sympathize. A dad just handed me four pull ups out of the blue today for his two year old daughter and there are four in her bag. I asked if she was using the potty and home and he said "On the weekend we try to keep the pull ups on her." Huh? Did that answer my question? Geez.

Could someone share their potty training sheet?

Thanks, Laurel

[Blackcat31]

Accck, I sympathize. A dad just handed me four pull ups out of the blue today for his two year old daughter and there are four in her bag. I asked if she was using the potty and home and he said "On the weekend we try to keep the pull ups on her." Huh? Did that answer my question? Geez.

Could someone share their potty training sheet?

Thanks, Laurel

This is by far THE best info for parents regarding toilet training and daycare.

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/potty-training-letter-to-parents.htm

[JoseyJo]

Thanks so much guys! I am going to send an email to mom of dcb today (she is always rushed at p/u and d/o). I will give pt sheet to dcg's mom and go from there!

[melilley]

Accck, I sympathize. A dad just handed me four pull ups out of the blue today for his two year old daughter and there are four in her bag. I asked if she was using the potty and home and he said "On the weekend we try to keep the pull ups on her." Huh? Did that answer my question? Geez.

Could someone share their potty training sheet?

Thanks, Laurel

About pull ups...I think that they are a waste of money, at least until the child can pull them up and down themselves. I think a lot of times parents think that pull ups are going to magically make their child want to go to the bathroom, that their children think they are just like underwear. We as child care providers know that this is not the case...

[Laurel]

About pull ups...I think that they are a waste of money, at least until the child can pull them up and down themselves. I think a lot of times parents think that pull ups are going to magically make their child want to go to the bathroom, that their children think they are just like underwear. We as child care providers know that this is not the case...

Oh I know. I think I am going to suggest that they bring diapers and I will put her on potty a couple of times a day. Then if she has success, we'll try pull ups.

[JoseyJo]

I sent an email to dcb's mom asking for specifics on where he is on potty training at home.

If he is, and how he is, telling her he needs to go potty.

If he is able to act upon that need before he goes in his p/u.

If he is able to dress/undress and how much help he needs.

If he is aiming or attempting to aim or if she has to hold him pointed in the right direction.

If he tells her if he is wet/bm in the p/u.

If he is able to take off p/u and put a new one on.

He is unable to do ANY of those things here, so depending on her answers I will most likely tell her that I misunderstood where he was at on potty training and require diapers until he is further along. She can send him in a p/u but if he pees in it he goes into diapers for the rest of the day.

Another problem I am having is that she will only send 5-7 pu at a time then I have to ask her for more- and sometimes she forgets for a day or 2! I am going to tell her I need at least 1 full package of diapers and I will let her know when we have less than a week's worth left.

[My3cents]

About pull ups...I think that they are a waste of money, at least until the child can pull them up and down themselves. I think a lot of times parents think that pull ups are going to magically make their child want to go to the bathroom, that their children think they are just like underwear. We as child care providers know that this is not the case...

Not me- I like pull ups, over underwear to save my home from being swamped! When a child can go two weeks clean we can switch to just underwear.

These things need to happen for me

1) The child knows he is soiled or wet

2) Can verbalize the need to go

3) Can pull up and down pants and undies.

4) need very little help from me to use the bathroom

5) has control

6) Starts at home and parent is training too, not just leaving a child in diapers for convenience.

Every kid is different. I have no rhyme or reason to when a child will be successful except for the adults being consistent and sometimes even that doesn't work, it really depends on the child. I do know training my own kids was much earlier then the daycare kids. I think consistency plays a factor there.

[My3cents]

I sent an email to dcb's mom asking for specifics on where he is on potty training at home.

If he is, and how he is, telling her he needs to go potty.

If he is able to act upon that need before he goes in his p/u.

If he is able to dress/undress and how much help he needs.

If he is aiming or attempting to aim or if she has to hold him pointed in the right direction.

If he tells her if he is wet/bm in the p/u.

If he is able to take off p/u and put a new one on.

He is unable to do ANY of those things here, so depending on her answers I will most likely tell her that I misunderstood where he was at on potty training and require diapers until he is further along. She can send him in a p/u but if he pees in it he goes into diapers for the rest of the day.

Another problem I am having is that she will only send 5-7 pu at a time then I have to ask her for more- and sometimes she forgets for a day or 2! I am going to tell her I need at least 1 full package of diapers and I will let her know when we have less than a week's worth left.

Aim is not a biggie for me. I train boys sitting down. The standing up comes later when they can practice and perfect that aim. I ask for enough for the week, my parents usually bring in a bag of them to stay here. If they don't bring them in the child would be in a diaper. You decide how you want it to work for your program, not the other way around. You home, your rules, your the one that is dealing with PT all day long. Decide what will work best for you-

Best-

[JoseyJo]

Update on email to dcb-

She said she is really glad I said something because she has been really frustrated w/ the potty training and didn't want to say anything and didn't know what to do next. Said she would try anything we recommended happyface

I sent her the link to nanny de's parent potty training page and told her I thought we should move back to diapers and encourage him telling us when wet. She agrees and is bringing diapers tomorrow happyface

[melilley]

Not me- I like pull ups, over underwear to save my home from being swamped! When a child can go two weeks clean we can switch to just underwear.

These things need to happen for me

1) The child knows he is soiled or wet

2) Can verbalize the need to go

3) Can pull up and down pants and undies.

4) need very little help from me to use the bathroom

5) has control

6) Starts at home and parent is training too, not just leaving a child in diapers for convenience.

Every kid is different. I have no rhyme or reason to when a child will be successful except for the adults being consistent and sometimes even that doesn't work, it really depends on the child. I do know training my own kids was much earlier then the daycare kids. I think consistency plays a factor there.

I like pull ups, but not until the child actually tries to go and can pull them up and down themselves. I think It's silly to put a child in pull ups before they are ready to try going potty, diapers are cheaper. Too many times I have had parents bring pull ups before the child is ready and that is when I think they are a waste of money.