One Day?

[providerandmomof4]

I had a dcg pulled after one day. I am going back and forth from being offended and thinking good riddance, to feeling sorry for myself. Long story short. I dealt only with mom, but I had worked with her in a previous life and didn't really think anything about not meeting dad.
I was so impressed because mom was on the ball. Had my paperwork completed, had my registration fee and payment and was very excited to start. There were a few issues, like the grandparents of dcg (18mths by the way) did not want dcg to start dc, and grandma had been keeping her up until this point and wanted to continue to do so. They were also living with his parents.

Mom wanted her to start dc because grandma wouldn't take her off the bottle. The child had never eaten without being fed, and never solid foods. There was a language barrier. The gparents were both Vietnamese and only spoke Vietnamese. Baby didn't speak English or Vietnamese. Sleeping problems...etc. Anyway, dcd and grandparents (both) come to pick up dcg and are just looking around like my house is a dump. We were all out in the driveway because we were getting ready to pick up my dd from school, when my huge German Shepherd busts out of the back fence and goes flying by us, down the street. I was so embarrassed. They looked appalled, and the gp's immediately begin yelling at dcd in Vietnamese. I just said, "Oh my gosh, I don't know why he did that, stammer, stammer....".

This morning dcm calls to advised that dcg will not be returning due to the whole dog incident, and that they are not dog people, yada...yada...and she's so sorry. Ugh!
I told her that I was sorry and that the dogs aren't usually around the kids during dc. She said that dcd said she needed to choose a different dc. That didn't have big dogs. Oh yea, they also said that dcg had dog hair on her, and seemed traumatized after they picked her up. WTH!?

Whatever....she was aware of my dogs. I mean, things happen sometimes that are out of your control...right? I don't know....

[Michael]

I say good riddance. That would not have been the end of it. Red flags.

[CedarCreek]

Honestly, good riddance.

You would have been dealing with sooo much passive aggressiveness from the grandparents from what it sounds like.

[daycarediva]

Good riddance. Those grandparents would have found ANY excuse to pressure Mom/Dad to pull her. Crazy how much influence they have over the parents.

[melilley]

Good Bye!
I can't believe they left, especially when they knew you had a dog! It sounds like the gp's were a huge influence in that decision. I bet they won't be happy with anyone!

My 85 lb lab ran into our family room and knocked the kids over one day like bowling pins. It was my dcb's first day here and his mom was here hanging out for a minute to make sure he was ok. I was so embarrassed! I apologized and said I was embarrassed and dcm just laughed. They are still here.

[originalkat]

Good riddance. Those grandparents would have found ANY excuse to pressure Mom/Dad to pull her. Crazy how much influence they have over the parents.

That's what I say too! Don't even sweat it.

[MyAngels]

Good riddance. Those grandparents would have found ANY excuse to pressure Mom/Dad to pull her. Crazy how much influence they have over the parents.

Good riddance!

[KnoxMom]

They won't be happy anywhere.

[preschoolteacher]

They were looking for a reason to pull her out of your daycare. Thank your dog for giving them one before you got in any deeper!!

[Angelsj]

I am not an expert in Vietnamese culture, but I did deal with a similar family. The grandparents were actively involved and did not want the little one to grow up. The first day he was here (just starting to walk/toddle) he fell over and bumped his head on the floor. Tiny little mark, just pink, not raised, but when grandma came to pick up, she FREAKED. Started yelling at DCD in Vietnamese, loudly, until I had to ask them to leave.
They never came back.

[crazydaycarelady]

If it wasn't the dog it would have been something else - the grandparents came over for the specific reason to find things to be unhappy with you about. Good riddance for sure!

[Blackcat31]

I agree. I wouldn't take it personally and just be glad you aren't dealing with them anymore.

In their culture, extended family is just as important, if not more than just mom and dad. Grandparents are often the leaders or the "law" of the family.

Often times generations of one family will reside together with ALL adults raising the children. Often times the paternal grandmother will have MORE say/authority in regards to the care of the child than the mother does.

I also think that dogs may not be considered a family pet in their culture regularly...I am not positive but I remember reading that dogs aren't considered "companion" animals.

[sharlan]

It sounds like the grandparents run the show. They will not be happy anywhere.

[spud912]

My dh is Cambodian, 1st generation (very similar to Vietnamese). I can say that the first problem the grandparents probably had was paying someone else to watch the children when there was free and better (in their opinion) child care at their house.

It is also very common in Asian culture to feed young children until they are older (like 3-ish). I don't know, my in-laws still "feed" my 4 and 3 year old daughters . The child most likely seemed non-communicative because it is very common for bilingual children to develop their language skills later (due to learning 2 languages at once).

My dh is very much Americanized (partially due to the fact he was born here, but mainly because he is extremely independent), so he does not exactly follow my in-laws' advice. Traditionally, however, adult children are very receptive to the advice of their parents. Culturally, children are taught to respect their elders as they are more wise and they should follow their advice, which is probably why it seems like the grandparents run the show.

Just wanted to clarify some of the observations. I really think it would have not worked out so it's best for everyone that they pulled so soon. The mother-in-law would have probably incessantly hounded on the dcd and criticized you until the dck was terminated. She probably won't be happy unless the child is back in her care.