Family Matter Or Daycare Issue?

[MotherNature]

So you don't believe ones reputation could or should affect their business?


If a provider was known as the town drunk but has never been charged with any crimes is that nobody's business? Or if the providers children are known as bullies? If a provider is known to beat the proverbial tar out of her children, or they run around filthy and after curfew hours.....none of those things should or could affect reputation and no one would have a leg to stand on arguing otherwise simply because law enforcement hasn't gotten involved (yet?)

I'm not saying it wouldn't or won't affect her business, just that it shouldn't. Wasn't even a daycare matter. Teens have sex; I don't think that's a big deal. If your teen is responsible and educated and uses protection, that's not as bad as many alternatives, if they're having sex anyway. This kid doesn't sound very responsible though. Sounds like he was thinking with the wrong head totally. I think an abusive or alcoholic provider is way different than a provider's kid acting up or making a wrong decision. Those are potential harmful issues for the kids in her care. As long as her teen isn't entertaining his gf during daycare hours, who cares? Hormones and sexual/sexualized activity are totally normal. I'd rather encourage my teens to be responsible & proactive about their own sexuality. This guy though, needs seriously grounded if he did indeed have sex in front of his siblings.

[Unregistered]

So far she hasn't lost any families. I'm curious to see how it plays out.

[MotherNature]

So far she hasn't lost any families. I'm curious to see how it plays out.

Me too! Looking forward to updates. I'd love to know what she said to her kids though.

[My3cents]

If the 16 year old was babysitting...........why was the girlfriend even there? That is just asking for trouble-

As a provider I would be livid at my kid. I hope I have taught my kids enough to not ever do something like this. I feel it would cause others to view my business as not good. I am always telling my daughter to be careful how she behaves out in public you never know who my next client is going to be.

Open communications parent to teens, parent to pre-teen is very important. Don't assume your child knows everything- they don't. Educate.

[Willow]

Okay, try to stay with me:

16 year old son of day care provider is babysitting two siblings outside of daycare hours. He has sex with gf with siblings in room- apparently under blanket, but older sibling (13) is aware of what happens and later tells a friend's dad (who is not a daycare parent). This dad is livid, writes provider very nasty letter, claims she is running a sex den. Provider didn't know the event had occured, thanks parent for the letter, says she's handling it as a family matter. He is not satisfied, notifies siblings' schools, takes it upon himself to make it a personal mission to close her daycare. She ends up having to get a restraining order against him. Provider notifies daycare parents of situation, they understand and see it as a family issue, feel that their kids are not in danger. Licensing has been notified by the angry parent, they've scheduled a visit.

Should the provider be worried? As a parent, would you keep your kids in the daycare? Thoughts?

If you'd be willing to answer OP, how exactly did you find out about this situation??

I network with quite a few providers, many of whom I'd consider good friends, and if this happened within my family I think I'd hesitate to tell anyone who didn't need to know......especially if I was already being harassed by someone who had intentions of using to threaten my business or slander my family kwim?

If you are a friend of hers are you relaying this information? Does she know you posted about her situation here?

[Unregistered]

She notified her daycare families of the situation. I do not know her personally and am a few steps removed from the situation- have no personal stake in it at all. Heard about it and thought it was an interesting discussion.

[Willow]

She notified her daycare families of the situation. I do not know her personally and am a few steps removed from the situation- have no personal stake in it at all. Heard about it and thought it was an interesting discussion.

Are you a provider or parent who usually posts on this board or did you seek it out just to ask about this?

Are you the livid dad in the original post and just trying to gain some perspective?

[Unregistered]

Are you a provider or parent who usually posts on this board or did you seek it out just to ask about this?

Are you the livid dad in the original post and just trying to gain some perspective?

Not sure why you're asking. Again, just an acquaintance of one of the daycare parents- not the original dad, not a friend or other connection to the provider, I sought out the board to ask. I've giving no identifying info as far as location or names or anything, so don't feel like I've overstepped, correct?

[Willow]

Not sure why you're asking. Again, just an acquaintance of one of the daycare parents- not the original dad, not a friend or other connection to the provider, I sought out the board to ask. I've giving no identifying info as far as location or names or anything, so don't feel like I've overstepped, correct?

I was just curious is all.

Even being a provider I didn't know this forum existed until I had some major problems with a parent, and even then I just happened to run across it while searching the internet. It's always interesting to learn how people not associated with daycare especially find their way here.

I'd say as long as you're not livid dad with the restraining order against him you're not overstepping


Edited to add - if you're not directly involved with the provider and all parents and proper authorities have already been notified I do wonder why you're curious about if the provider herself should STILL be worried. Why do you care? That part makes no sense to me. I sure wouldn't be wasting my time delving further into something that had nothing to do with me directly and had already been dealt with......this whole thread sits odd now that I think about it more......I'm a nit picker of details, call it a hobby

Only way this WOULD make sense was if you are actually the provider herself, or the livid dad with the restraining order who sounds unnaturally obsessed with a family matter that's none of his business (as evidenced by the fact that a restraining order was even granted.....). Who would even have the whole story like that save for those two people???

[Great Beginnings]

...Only way this WOULD make sense was if you are actually the provider herself,

I assumed this was the provider as well. Or a parent wondering if they should pull their own child from her care.

[MarinaVanessa]

Without reading all posts and only going by the OP I'd say that because it didn't happen during DC hours and it wasn't "in front of" daycare children, only in front of the provider's own children (if I read that right) then it can be handled as a family problem HOWEVER licensing is now involved and they may require that the 16yo either never be left alone with the daycare children or that the 16yo not be in the daycare during daycare hours (like in an after school program).

Licensing MAY contact CPS (and the provider may think about notifying CPS herself) because someone had sex (even if it were a minor) in front of other minors. I would recommend that the provider ask licensing whether this is a reportable act or not since all daycare providers are mandated reporters.