Family Matter Or Daycare Issue?

[Margarete]

I would think that it could affect licensing if its by definition criminal based on age of gf or other kids being in the room (not getting into if it should be or not). In many states all people living in the house over 18 need to have background checks, not sure what that would mean for a 16 year old.
Yes it was a bad decision, but seems reasonable to handle this as a family matter. If my kids were enrolled I wouldn't pull my kids for this, but I may want to be reassured that the 16 year old would not be taking care of the dck.

[Unregistered]

provider is aware her son is having sex and thought he was being responsible about it. They had all the conversations about protection and what-not. Guess she didn't realize that she needed to let him know that sex with your siblings in the room is a no-no! @@

[Maria2013]

I think it is saying the 16 yo was babysitting his OWN siblings in his OWN house, but not during daycare house. Proceeds to have sex with girlfriend with other kids in the room (why? that is pretty perverted). The 16 year old's 13 yo brother tells a friends dad, whose kids are not in care at all, but is disturbed by it.

I would say it is none of this guy's business, especially since he has no kids in care there. A 16 yo making a REALLY disgusting choice does not equal a sex den.

[BrooklynM]

If the parent reports her, she could in some states be charged with something, depending on the state. It depends on what the kids actually saw. If they saw nothing, then she may not get charged. Any nudity or anything that is very sexual, that is a form of sexual abuse. Even though the mom wasn't home, she made the decision to put her son in charge of the kids. If the son was never home while the daycare is open that is one thing, but he sounds like he has some issues. I realize how teenagers can be, don't get me wrong, but that is HORRIBLE judgement.

I think it is a family matter, but I would be very concerned as to what is really going on with that boy. If it were my son? First of all, he would never be left alone with his girlfriend in the house when I wasn't there. Secondly, he would never be allowed to watch his siblings again. It would just be all bad. I cannot imagine. I hope she is not taking this lightly.

[Play Care]

I think it is a family matter, but I would be very concerned as to what is really going on with that boy. If it were my son? First of all, he would never be left alone with his girlfriend in the house when I wasn't there. Secondly, he would never be allowed to watch his siblings again. It would just be all bad. I cannot imagine. I hope she is not taking this lightly.

Obviously all we know of the incident is third hand information - maybe they were not having sex but messing around (still not okay, but not SEX). Maybe the 13 yo told his friend what he did to seem "cool" (stranger things have happened). I am more concerned that mom was aware the child was having a sexual relationship and allowed the GF to be over when she wasn't there. I don't think that is something I would condone as a parent. I don't want my 16 yo's having sex, and I wouldn't make the path clear for it.

[Willow]

I don't understand the thought process behind being more upset that they were having sex than the fact that it was in front of other children or not.

Teens have been messing around and having sex since....well, I'm sure forever. Not something a parents wants but can any of you honestly say you did either in front of ANYONE at that age?? Much less in front of children??

Teens are dumb, but that seems intentional and frankly, pretty darn creepy. As that teens mother s soon as I heard that I'd be first calling law enforcement to investigate if any laws were broken, if there were none broken I'd ask for an officer's cooperation to have a little scared straight moment, and then I'd be hauling their butt to therapy to sort out what in the h*ll drove them to do something so stupid and disgusting.


I would rock their world in a way it would make their knees knock even thinking about sex, much less in front of a child.

I also would NEVER trust them to be left in charge of their siblings alone again......or at least not for a very long time. The other girls parents would be notified and she certainly wouldn't be let back in my house or around my other kids.

24 months, possibly less, is all that separated this young man from serious jail time and being branded a sex offender.


It doesn't matter what any of us think when reputation is involved. If even one person thinks the same was as this guy making waves obviously does, I can see how easily that could spread like wildfire in a community and completely ruin a family's reputation.

Having sex as a teen is largely a look the other way activity these days, having sex in front of children, ones own siblings, is not and never will be.

[MotherNature]

This is none of the other parent's business AT ALL. The 16 yo had sex..big deal. He had sex in front of his siblings, which is gross, and his parents should discipline him for that, but I see no reason why this should even affect her business. Other parent has no leg to stand on.

[Great Beginnings]

I am more concerned that mom was aware the child was having a sexual relationship and allowed the GF to be over when she wasn't there. I don't think that is something I would condone as a parent. I don't want my 16 yo's having sex, and I wouldn't make the path clear for it.

This is what would concern me as a daycare parent. To me, that seems very laxed as a parent and I wonder how lenient she would be with my children in her care. I know it sounds judgemental but to me that's ok because it is my child and I need to do what I feel is right. I don't agree with parents condoning sex at such a young age or turning a blind eye to it and allowing it to happen, especially in the home.

[Willow]

This is what would concern me as a daycare parent. To me, that seems very laxed as a parent and I wonder how lenient she would be with my children in her care. I know it sounds judgemental but to me that's ok because it is my child and I need to do what I feel is right. I don't agree with parents condoning sex at such a young age or turning a blind eye to it and allowing it to happen, especially in the home.

[Willow]

This is none of the other parent's business AT ALL. The 16 yo had sex..big deal. He had sex in front of his siblings, which is gross, and his parents should discipline him for that, but I see no reason why this should even affect her business. Other parent has no leg to stand on.

So you don't believe ones reputation could or should affect their business?


If a provider was known as the town drunk but has never been charged with any crimes is that nobody's business? Or if the providers children are known as bullies? If a provider is known to beat the proverbial tar out of her children, or they run around filthy and after curfew hours.....none of those things should or could affect reputation and no one would have a leg to stand on arguing otherwise simply because law enforcement hasn't gotten involved (yet?)

[countrymom]

sounds to me like this isn't the first time this kid did it in the house. And yes kids will do it, but I will say, that by doing it infront of other kids while babysitting shows how little respect this child has towards his family and rules. I would be worried as a dcp what is going on when my own children are there--are they doing it in their room, in a bathroom, in a corner kwim.
as the parent of the kid, I would read him the riot act, and punish him and his penis to no end. I would never ever take this light heartedly.
oh, my own kids fear the wrath of mom

[countrymom]

So you don't believe ones reputation could or should affect their business?


If a provider was known as the town drunk but has never been charged with any crimes is that nobody's business? Or if the providers children are known as bullies? If a provider is known to beat the proverbial tar out of her children, or they run around filthy and after curfew hours.....none of those things should or could affect reputation and no one would have a leg to stand on arguing otherwise simply because law enforcement hasn't gotten involved (yet?)

I think our business would be effected. Its like teachers, you need to be careful what you do out in public. thats why when I go out i'm careful what I do, because you never know where your going to meet a potential client.

[Play Care]

I don't understand the thought process behind being more upset that they were having sex than the fact that it was in front of other children or not.

Teens have been messing around and having sex since....well, I'm sure forever. Not something a parents wants but can any of you honestly say you did either in front of ANYONE at that age?? Much less in front of children??

Teens are dumb, but that seems intentional and frankly, pretty darn creepy. As that teens mother s soon as I heard that I'd be first calling law enforcement to investigate if any laws were broken, if there were none broken I'd ask for an officer's cooperation to have a little scared straight moment, and then I'd be hauling their butt to therapy to sort out what in the h*ll drove them to do something so stupid and disgusting.


I would rock their world in a way it would make their knees knock even thinking about sex, much less in front of a child.

I also would NEVER trust them to be left in charge of their siblings alone again......or at least not for a very long time. The other girls parents would be notified and she certainly wouldn't be let back in my house or around my other kids.

24 months, possibly less, is all that separated this young man from serious jail time and being branded a sex offender.


It doesn't matter what any of us think when reputation is involved. If even one person thinks the same was as this guy making waves obviously does, I can see how easily that could spread like wildfire in a community and completely ruin a family's reputation.

Having sex as a teen is largely a look the other way activity these days, having sex in front of children, ones own siblings, is not and never will be.

I want to be clear - *IF* they were messing around/having sex, that is clearly NOT okay...my concern is that this is something that could have been blown out of proportion or even made up. The older I get, the more I try to give people the benefit of the doubt before believing everything I hear.

So that aside, my issue is then mom knowing the child is sexually active and leaving the door wide open for that activity. However if it turns out the child DID have sex in front of siblings then yes, I would be more disturbed by that.

[Play Care]

And at the risk of sounding perverted, although it was not something I did, I attended many a party in high school and college where kids were intimate in front of others.

While gross, it wasn't unheard of...

It just speaks to that fact that kids are not usually ready to make good decisions regarding sexual activity.

[MyAngels]

This is what would concern me as a daycare parent. To me, that seems very laxed as a parent and I wonder how lenient she would be with my children in her care. I know it sounds judgemental but to me that's ok because it is my child and I need to do what I feel is right. I don't agree with parents condoning sex at such a young age or turning a blind eye to it and allowing it to happen, especially in the home.

Poor judgment on the part of both the 16 y/o and the gf, but even worse on the part of the parent. If the parents are making those kinds of decisions in the raising of their own children, how could I , speaking from a daycare parent's point of view, trust the provider to make sound decisions when dealing with my children.