SA DCK Masturbating Constantly......Should I Talk To Parents?

[Unregistered]

I am a registered member but have logged out because of the sensitive nature of this post.

I have a 7 YO DCG who is as sweet as can be but lately she has been masturbating...a lot.

She does it anywhere she can find a spot. On the arm of the couch, the head of a doll, a large teddy bear, a ride on horse, a pillow and today lying on the floor with her hands down her pants. And she really, really goes at it.

She does this in front of me and the other DCKs. I have redirected many times but she tends to go right back at it within minutes.

The other DCKs have started to notice the strange behaviour and will ask her what she is doing.

I am not sure what to do about this. It is such a sensitive subject and I'm not sure if I should bring it up to DCPs or even how. I want to tell her it is private and she needs to do it in private but is it my place to discuss such things?

Has anyone ever gone through this? Help!

[Luna]

That's what I would do - tell her it's private. I don't think I would bring it up with the parents unless it continues after I've told her (and reminded her a couple of times).
How awkward. I'm grateful this hasn't been an issue for me yet.

[coolconfidentme]

I've only had hands in the pants with boys. Sorry.

[SilverSabre25]

"That's private and not for daycare."

[childcaremom]

I would tell her it is private, as well. Then define private: as in at your own house and not at daycare.

I would def. be having a conversation with the parents about it, though.

[TwinKristi]

I would tell her straight up that if she wants to do that she needs to do it in private like at home, not at your daycare. I would definitely tell the parents, I can't imagine she's ONLY doing this at your house. Ask what they would like you to do on your end and what you would like as encouragement on their end. Just like any other behavior that's unacceptable at daycare whether it's screaming and crying or hitting. I can't say I would be as nice as you honestly. At 7 that's not like just something inborn like a baby getting having an erection or grabbing at their privates during a diaper change. She knows this is something that feels good to her and maybe it's when she's bored that she does it? Is she doing this at school? What kind of sanitation steps are you taking when she does this? Maybe that's how you can bring it up to parents as I wouldn't want a child sticking their hands on their privates and then touching toys a baby may put in their mouth. Add to that she probably has dirty little SA kid hands and is touching something that is sensitive to pH and bacteria. Ya know?

[Willow]

It's odd that by the age of seven she doesn't seem to have some sense how her behavior can be perceived by others around her. Although self exploration is normal, engaging in it that much and in plain view is incredibly concerning.

I would definitely and without shame let her know that daycare is not the place for that. Neither is school, friends houses, the grocery store etc. I'd absolutely let her parents know what's been going on, where, when and to what extent.

My biggest concern is that this seems like a very frequent and normalized public behavior for her. THAT, is not normal and definitely needs to be both investigated and addressed.

[craftymissbeth]

It's odd that by the age of seven she doesn't seem to have some sense how her behavior can be perceived by others around her. Although self exploration is normal, engaging in it that much and in plain view is incredibly concerning.

I would definitely and without shame let her know that daycare is not the place for that. Neither is school, friends houses, the grocery store etc. I'd absolutely let her parents know what's been going on, where, when and to what extent.

My biggest concern is that this seems like a very frequent and normalized public behavior for her. THAT, is not normal and definitely needs to be both investigated and addressed.

What she's doing is normal... when and where she's doing it isn't. Not at her age, IMO.

[WImom]

What she's doing is normal... when and where she's doing it isn't. Not at her age, IMO.

I agree but also OP said "recently" which also alarms me.

[MamaBearCanada]

It is your place to bring it up for the following reasons. It is natural behaviour but unacceptable for daycare. It can also be a sign of abuse (I'm not suggesting she is being abused!). It is unsanitary. It could be very disturbing to the other children in your care.

To DCG - Susie, that is for at home in private not daycare. Please wash your hands and go play.

To DCM/DCD - Susie has been touching her privates/genitals/masturbating (whatever you feel comfortable saying) infront of the other children. It has become very frequent. I have been redirecting her asking her to wash her hands (for sanitary reasons before she touches toys) and go play and explaining that such behaviour is something to be done in private. I'm sure you understand that while this is normal exploration for children it's a behaviour I cannot allow at daycare. Have you noticed this at home? Do you have any suggestions?

[SilverSabre25]

Could she have an infection and be itchy?

[Heidi]

Could she have an infection and be itchy?

DCM, I don't know if you noticed that Suzi has been rubbing herself against everything lately? Maybe we should have you run her in to the doc; maybe she has an infection that's making her itchy? Otherwise, I have been telling her to keep it private. I don't want to shame her, but am trying to let her know it's not entirely appropriate in public. Are you ok with that?

[TwinKristi]

It's odd that by the age of seven she doesn't seem to have some sense how her behavior can be perceived by others around her. Although self exploration is normal, engaging in it that much and in plain view is incredibly concerning.

I would definitely and without shame let her know that daycare is not the place for that. Neither is school, friends houses, the grocery store etc. I'd absolutely let her parents know what's been going on, where, when and to what extent.

My biggest concern is that this seems like a very frequent and normalized public behavior for her. THAT, is not normal and definitely needs to be both investigated and addressed.

I agree

[preschoolteacher]

In addition to an infection, maybe she should be checked for lichen sclerosus. It is a very itchy condition that affects pre-pubecsenet girls. They tend to grow out of it, but it needs topical steroid treatment to help the itching, which can be very severe.

[Brooksie]

It's odd that by the age of seven she doesn't seem to have some sense how her behavior can be perceived by others around her. Although self exploration is normal, engaging in it that much and in plain view is incredibly concerning.

I would definitely and without shame let her know that daycare is not the place for that. Neither is school, friends houses, the grocery store etc. I'd absolutely let her parents know what's been going on, where, when and to what extent.

My biggest concern is that this seems like a very frequent and normalized public behavior for her. THAT, is not normal and definitely needs to be both investigated and addressed.

This. She needs to know thats something that is to be done in private. Also, definitely discuss it with the parents. Good luck.