What Did I Get Myself Into????????HELP!

[daycare]

If you think the main trigger is them wanting to be home with their parents because they miss them what about seeing if you can offer something linked to that as a reward? You said mom is a SAHM so see if she would go for something like coming in to read a special story or do a craft on Friday if there was no screaming all week.

I had a DCB who would cry and cry for his Dad at drop off. We arranged that if he came in calmly we would write a quick email to his Dad together so that it would be waiting when his Dad got to work. Then Dad would write back. I would also send pics via text of our day & his mom & dad would send a short text back and that also really helped. He just needed a connection and after a few weeks there was no more crying and it was rare he asked to send an email, but he knew he could if he needed to.

Some kids are just desperate for time and connection with their parents and they will go to desperate measures to get it. He probably knows that screaming is not acceptable but if he feels he has already lost what he wants the most (being with his mom and dad) then he has nothing to lose, especially if he thinks negative behavior might send him home and help him obtain his goal.

Some kids are just desperate for time and connection with their parents and they will go to desperate measures to get it. He probably knows that screaming is not acceptable but if he feels he has already lost what he wants the most (being with his mom and dad) then he has nothing to lose, especially if he thinks negative behavior might send him home and help him obtain his goal.

I think that you are so right about this. and I love the idea of rewarding him with something special if he comes in calmly.

after 3 years, you would think that this would be done and over with, but it is still going on....

[Sunshine75]

Ok-Am I the only one who thinks it's odd that a sahm is sending her kids to daycare? Why isn't she taking care of them? That is messed up in my book!

[daycare]

Ok-Am I the only one who thinks it's odd that a sahm is sending her kids to daycare? Why isn't she taking care of them? That is messed up in my book!

7 out of 15 of my enrollment are mothers who do not work.

I don't care what they do, I love their business.

[Cradle2crayons]

I think the special email to the parent was a great idea!!!!

I had a four year old once, only child, AWESOMEST PARENTS EVER!!!!!

She had never been to daycare and we knew that would be a challenge. She was enrolled M-W-F for socialization and my pre k for four year olds program I was doing at that time.

She LOVED LOVED COMING HERE. and she loved the learning and friends.

She didn't scream but the first few months, she just was so sad. Her behavior was fine but she truly was sad. She missed her mom.

After the first few weeks of new wore off, she would just sit in the corner and cry and NOTHING WORKED.

We tried so many different things. Mom tried bribes but really she wasn't misbehaving so we ran out of ideas on how to help her.

So, about two months in, one day my daughter was at school and my husband skyped and my son was talking to him on the laptop computer on the media table. All of a sudden, this little girl got up from the corner, walked across the room and just stood there staring at them having their conversation. And then it hit me.

I called up mom, and a few minutes later daycare girl had her first skype with her mama while she was in her lunch break at her part time job. Oh.my.gosh. Is little girl was BEAMING. two minutes of conversation and she was CURED.

so, we came up with a plan. If the little girl didn't cry and did her work etc and was on green, then right before her mom left work to come pick her up, she could skype her for five minutes.

A month later, we changed it to only on Mondays. And a month later, she was able to make it all of her part day with me.

It all came down to the fact this little girl just missed her mom. Her parents were awesome though, not like with the op. The mom and daughter had spent four years every day together and this girl just missed her.

It was difficult though because it couldn't be chalked up to anything her parents were doing wrong. And because she had great behavior, we really couldn't give her a consequence.

Op, I know this isn't an answer for you.

But my point is that sometimes you have to think outside the box. But regardless of the options, the parents HAVE to be on board and willing to help you with this.

My question::: if the child is with you, and they want something and you tell them no, does the child scream?? When the child isn't coming to daycare and the parents say no, do they scream at home? If so, what do the parents normally do to stop it?

I agree with what you are saying that calling for pickup would be a reward for the child. And temporarily, that's true. But the point right now isn't that he child will think they are being rewarded. The point is it will give the PARENTS a consequence. And that's what we have to do sometimes for parents to take it seriously.

For instance.... If a parent beings a baby without diapers, you send them away at the door. The point is that it makes the parents uncomfortable enough that maybe next time they won't forget.

I wouldn't worry about making the child think they got what they wanted. I would want to make a point to the parents so they take this disruption seriously and get on board with you.

One option.... Take away the tv and/or iPad COMPLETELY for as many days as it takes to not even have the child ask for it in the morning. That means don't let them use it or watch tv at home at ALL , even in the afternoon.

Encourage them to get the child's morning behavior under control by giving THEM consequences.

[daycare]

I took your advise and talked to the mom about setting up some reward system.. I asked that they try to enforce something similar at home.

I also told that the kids need to get to bed at a decent hour. no more 11pm bed time. yes that is right.

I think that if we are able to work together that we should be able to figure it out. the child is so well behaved otherwise....

and I love this family.....