On Again/Off Again Relationship, Off Again/Off Again DCD

[Unregistered]

I have a great family who used to be awesome with their kids, or AWESOME FAKERS. Over the last year dad has been clueless. Cant tell me anything about dck at drop off, has no clue about ears ( constant ear infections), cant get kids hair up, never on time (drop or pick up) it goes on and on. Every morning a pain in my tush.

For a few months another family member was dropping off and I loved it. Kids arrived happy, ready for daycare. A totally different mood, at ease, calm, happy kids.

Last week it went back to daycare dad who hasn't a clue. Kids had horrible attitudes and behaviors all week. They arrive anxious and flustered, miserable. For the littlest it lasts all day, nap is even horrible!

How long do I give it before saying, this isnt working. I love dcm and kid but I am unwilling to deal with a dcd who does this to the kids causing me all day troubles. Would you tell dcm the kids are having behaviors and the morning is dreadful again and hope she gets it that you mean dcd or would you be direct? Or leave it be and suffer in silence?

[BrooklynM]

Yes, I would talk to the DCM. Find out whats going on from her before you term. You may be the only constant right now for that child. Ask her advice on how you can better communicate with the dad. Guys (no offense to any guys at all) often don't think of how their actions affect others. You have to be direct. Hey, DCD, we never really had the formal talk that I had with the other parents, I really want to apologize and see if we can go over a few things. I wrote down the bullet points because I know its a lot to remember. (Dont hand him another contract. Too many words, make a checklist that is SIMPLE). Have some main bullet points written down, for example:

** Drop off time is 8:00-8:30, if you are going to be late, send me a text to let me know what time you will be there so I can plan the activities I have planned accordingly.

**Drop off quick rundown-let me know how DCK is doing
*Sleep well?
*Eat well?
*Feel good?
*Mood

**DCK must be dressed (list your expectations, hair, clothes, etc)

**Contracted pickup time is 5:30pm. Late pickups require you to let me know and a fee of X amount at pickup. After X amount of late pickups, it could result in termination.

**If there are any issues or concerns you have, please feel free to let me know. My cell phone number is X and my email address is X.


I would put it in a checklist form and keep it to as few words as possible with large font. Make it look easy. Try that for a week and see if it gets any better!

[My3cents]

I have a great family who used to be awesome with their kids, or AWESOME FAKERS. Over the last year dad has been clueless. Cant tell me anything about dck at drop off, has no clue about ears ( constant ear infections), cant get kids hair up, never on time (drop or pick up) it goes on and on. Every morning a pain in my tush.

For a few months another family member was dropping off and I loved it. Kids arrived happy, ready for daycare. A totally different mood, at ease, calm, happy kids.

Last week it went back to daycare dad who hasn't a clue. Kids had horrible attitudes and behaviors all week. They arrive anxious and flustered, miserable. For the littlest it lasts all day, nap is even horrible!

How long do I give it before saying, this isnt working. I love dcm and kid but I am unwilling to deal with a dcd who does this to the kids causing me all day troubles. Would you tell dcm the kids are having behaviors and the morning is dreadful again and hope she gets it that you mean dcd or would you be direct? Or leave it be and suffer in silence?

I would talk with Dad...

hair- I wouldn't worry about. Many Dad's just don't know how to do it. Can you teach him yes if he is willing to learn, if not I would just help him out and fix it myself when the child got to you.

I would work with him and say look how can we make a smoother transition in the morning? It is not working for me. Child's behavior is being set up for the rest of the day. Be honest and explain to him what is going on and how he can do his part to fix it.

[Familycare71]

[blessed mom]

Are the parents separated? If you are unwilling to work with dad then you have your answer there. Terminate the child.

If you are willing then make a checklist for dad. Some dad's are clueless but a list would help.