I'm Having A Rough Time-Help Please!

[jamiem]

Ok so first a little background sorry this is kind of long. I am newer to daycare so I would really appreciate any advice or thoughts. I have had DCG for just over a year, she is now 26 months old. She used to have no problem saying bye to mom at drop-offs, she would just start playing and barely notice her mom even left. She was the sweetest, happiest, easy going kid. Recently her dad is back in the picture and I'm not sure if that is the cause or maybe its terrible two's but lately my sweet little dcg has changed. Drop-offs started getting rougher, she would cry when mom said she had to go to work and continue to have a meltdown for up to 20 minutes after mom left. She also started being a bully to a one year old dcb. For no reason she will go up to him and start hitting him, pushing him, taking toys, etc. When he wakes up from his morning nap she will go from being happy to screaming and crying NO NO NO. She wants to sleep all the time. Naptime is at 12pm right after lunch and she will start crying and begging for a nap sometimes as early as 9am. After nap she wants to continue to lay in bed and cries when I tell her it is time to get up. Yesterday and today she had the worst drop-offs ever. It was the first and second time that dcd did drop-offs so I think that had a lot to do with it. Yesterday she screamed and cried full force for an hour. Finally I was able to get her to calm down, she took a 3 hour nap, and then she was perfectly happy when she woke up. Today was even worse, she screamed and cried at the top of her lungs rolling around on the floor in front of the door. I tried talking to her but if I got near her she got louder and started flailing her arms and legs kicking and hitting me. After half and hour I called her mom to come and get her and she was still going when mom arrived 20 minutes later. What would you do?

[My3cents]

Ok so first a little background sorry this is kind of long. I am newer to daycare so I would really appreciate any advice or thoughts. I have had DCG for just over a year, she is now 26 months old. She used to have no problem saying bye to mom at drop-offs, she would just start playing and barely notice her mom even left. She was the sweetest, happiest, easy going kid. Recently her dad is back in the picture and I'm not sure if that is the cause or maybe its terrible two's but lately my sweet little dcg has changed. Drop-offs started getting rougher, she would cry when mom said she had to go to work and continue to have a meltdown for up to 20 minutes after mom left. She also started being a bully to a one year old dcb. For no reason she will go up to him and start hitting him, pushing him, taking toys, etc. When he wakes up from his morning nap she will go from being happy to screaming and crying NO NO NO. She wants to sleep all the time. Naptime is at 12pm right after lunch and she will start crying and begging for a nap sometimes as early as 9am. After nap she wants to continue to lay in bed and cries when I tell her it is time to get up. Yesterday and today she had the worst drop-offs ever. It was the first and second time that dcd did drop-offs so I think that had a lot to do with it. Yesterday she screamed and cried full force for an hour. Finally I was able to get her to calm down, she took a 3 hour nap, and then she was perfectly happy when she woke up. Today was even worse, she screamed and cried at the top of her lungs rolling around on the floor in front of the door. I tried talking to her but if I got near her she got louder and started flailing her arms and legs kicking and hitting me. After half and hour I called her mom to come and get her and she was still going when mom arrived 20 minutes later. What would you do?

I would do quick drop off in the morning so she doesn't have much time to think about Mom leaving, get her interested in something fun- puzzle, book, etc... then I would give her a 1/2 hour morning nap and down with the rest at noon. Some kids need more sleep then others. I would also give her a space to cry and tell her when she is done she can come and play with everyone else. Good luck- trial and error but I would have it on my schedule and the way you want things to work out. I think I would really shoot for quick drop offs and get her busy with something she likes.

[spinnymarie]

It sounds like more than just terrible two's, although that may be playing a large part. Have you asked mom about it?

[jamiem]

Yeah mom said she has been doing crying when left with other people too even grandma and grandpa. She feels bad but just doesn't know what to do. She also said she has been putting her to bed early and she gets 12 hours of sleep a night most nights.

[e.j.]

If dcg had her mom all to herself before dad came back into the picture, is it possible she's having a hard time dealing with less time and attention from mom? Maybe mom and dad are spending time together in an effort to reconnect and leaving her with the grandparents? Any time I've had a child acting the way you've described, more often than not it seemed to have something to do with getting less time and attention from the parent(s). If this is going on, maybe the parents could make it a point to spend more time with dcg?