????I Need Opinions on 4th Round of Toilet Training

[Blackcat31]

I think you're being a little to harsh in saying that you will end care for the kid though. You stated earlier that you charge extra for kids still in diapers at 3yrs so why the rush to terminate?

I guess I just felt like it would push her to take me a little more serious since she pays the extra $ now and doesn't even blink an eye. The assistance she is on pays for all but $10 of her child's care for the month and she ends up paying about $5 more per day for her higher rate. I guess I am bothered that the extra charge doesn't bother her! LOL! :confused: Money is a big motivating factor for most parents, it works great for late payments or late pick ups so I figured that charging an additional fee would motivate her to parent her child.
Also, Alex IS completely capable of going to the toilet, he is just past wanting to bother anymore. He has been in and out of diapers enough times that I don't think he really cares anymore. He will soil his pants and continue playing like it is no big deal. (It used to bother the heck out of him, which is why he was trained near two in the first place). I honestly believe now this whole mess is caused by lazy parenting and no support at home for his efforts. So changing Alex's behavior is probably the easy part. Getting mom to do what I think is her responsibility is the hard part.

[DCMomOf3]

Instead of threatening to term, could you say something like: If I don't see enough effort on potty training outside of my care after 30 days I will have to re-evaluate our contract and how you and your needs fit in with the care I am willing to provide.

[Blackcat31]

Great idea... plus it sounds better than threatening with termination. Thanks!

[Unregistered]

Thank you everyone for your posts, it is always nice to see I am not the crazy one and expecting too much or too little from my DC families!!
So, I decided to give mom a letter requesting that she take responsibility for Alex’s toilet training. Here’s a copy: Any input before I give it to her? I decided to write it in a letter because then I have documentation and because she is one of those mom’s who just has one excuse after another. Plus, she always tries to make a joke about anything serious I try to talk to her about.
Mom,
I have had Alex in underwear several times now only to be under minded by outside influences. First his being ill, then grandma and then you, so I have come to a decision regarding the care I provide to Alex. I will give you 30 days to get Alex back in underwear. (This means accident free for at least 90% of the week.) I will support you in any way I am able. However, if I feel the job is becoming more my responsibility than yours, I will no longer be willing to provide services to you. I would like for you to outline your plan for toilet training and keep me informed of all progress on a daily basis. If I hear that Alex is put in a diaper, for any reason, I will terminate our child care agreement immediately. Alex is perfectly capable of using the toilet. It is a disservice to him and his abilities to not allow him to be trained and remained trained at his age. If you feel that you are not able to comply with this request, than please regard this letter as written notice to discontinue our child care service agreement effective November 3, 2010.
As always, if you have any questions and or concerns, please contact me as soon as possible so that we can resolve this matter.

Any suggestions? Too harsh? Too lenient? Not clear enough? Did I leave anything out?

That letter is AWSOME good jor for standing up for you and this little boy

[Former Teacher]

I may have to rethink my "I've never heard of a child going to kindergarten in diapers" reassurance that I give to anxious potty-training parents ::.

You would be surprised. I once had a 3 year old. Extremely smart. Completely potty trained. Mom got pregnant. Sadly she miscarried. Guess what? Yes, she put him back in DIAPERS. He was 5 years old and still in diapers. He totally regressed. Mom didn't want him in underwear because of the lost baby. She wanted him to be the baby.

Eventually she pulled him out of the center so she can spend more time with him before he went to Kindergarten. I heard that she eventually retrained him however he was very accident prone.

P.S. she went on to have another baby