Using Candy to Toilet Train In Daycare

[hgonzalez]

I have a 3 yr old who is a beginner toilet trainer. He has done better at home than at daycare, I am guessing due to the fact that they give him candy every time he tries. I am not keen on doing that here, as I have other children that are using the toilet because they WANT to stay dry and use the toilet, and they are not getting a candy treat for it. I don't think it would be fair to give him candy and not the others.

However, he now REFUSES to even step in my bathroom to try and soaks through his pull ups due to not emptying his bladder here. We tried stickers and he was into that for 2 weeks and now doesn't care about stickers. He knows he won't get candy, so he won't bother trying. He has soaked through both pull ups and clothing here because he does have some degree of bladder control.

He is somewhere on the Autism Spectrum, but really bright and sweet. Great parents, just not in the same situation as I am.

What are your thoughts on this? Am I being too uptight about the candy part? I just think it won't work until he wants to stay dry and be a big boy, but with his possible Autism, that may not be the right thought process.

[LoraJenkins]

I've had parents bring M&M s here for PT DCB. They gave him 1 for per and 2 for BM. I REFUSED! I was training 5 at the same time and it wasn't gonna happen. He used a sticker chart just like the other 4. I don't DO special for one child because the parents ask.

[Play Care]

I know some will disagree, but I have used candy in the past for potty training. Honestly most of my kids are more then ready to train and it's about a week, at most, where they get a couple m&m's for pee and a few more if they poop. I also will give out ONE m&m to the other kids for cheering on their friend. I decrease the amount by the end of the week and we are DONE.

I know what the critics say, but I can't get worked up about something that is such a minor part of our day. And none of my parents mind at all - keeping in mind most of my kids potty train here before they do at home (I have a firm PT policy but if I see a child is ready and I have time I will start it up, cause I'm all about one less diaper to change )

Now, I would NOT be pt'ing kids who didn't show any readiness signs anyway and I refuse to do it for longer then the week - because IME, kids who are ready to train do so that quickly. You absolutely have the right to what works for you and your group and if you don't want to go down that road then hold firm.

[daycarediva]

I know some will disagree, but I have used candy in the past for potty training. Honestly most of my kids are more then ready to train and it's about a week, at most, where they get a couple m&m's for pee and a few more if they poop. I also will give out ONE m&m to the other kids for cheering on their friend. I decrease the amount by the end of the week and we are DONE.

I know what the critics say, but I can't get worked up about something that is such a minor part of our day. And none of my parents mind at all - keeping in mind most of my kids potty train here before they do at home (I have a firm PT policy but if I see a child is ready and I have time I will start it up, cause I'm all about one less diaper to change )

Now, I would NOT be pt'ing kids who didn't show any readiness signs anyway and I refuse to do it for longer then the week - because IME, kids who are ready to train do so that quickly. You absolutely have the right to what works for you and your group and if you don't want to go down that road then hold firm.

Yep, I have used m&ms for potty training or other reward (1-2 m&ms snuck to a child in the bathroom isn't going to make him see food as a reward in 20 years. Although I really do dislike food rewards, I do what works/what parents are doing to keep it consistent)

Also, if this kid is on the spectrum, you are essentially disrupting his potty routine by not doing exactly what his parents do. Same exact thing, every single time for him to get it and it WILL take longer than a neurotypical child.

[Soccermom]

I had a DCM bring me candy a few weeks ago to help potty train her 2 year old . I initially started giving them to her the same as they were doing at home but it turned into a nightmare. All the other DCKS wanted some and then she started asking to pee every 2 minutes because she wanted a candy and would tantrum if I didn't give her one because she didn't do anything on the potty.

Needless to say, I sent the candies home with DCM that night.

DCM can work on potty training with DCG on the weekends and evenings using candy but I will continue to just put her on the potty every 30 minutes as I have done with all the others.

[NeedaVaca]

Potty training a child on the spectrum can be different and although I would not normally give a candy reward, in this case I would.

[Familycare71]

Yep, I have used m&ms for potty training or other reward (1-2 m&ms snuck to a child in the bathroom isn't going to make him see food as a reward in 20 years. Although I really do dislike food rewards, I do what works/what parents are doing to keep it consistent)

Also, if this kid is on the spectrum, you are essentially disrupting his potty routine by not doing exactly what his parents do. Same exact thing, every single time for him to get it and it WILL take longer than a neurotypical child.

I have done it here too- it has never been a big deal. I do think he needs constancy both at home and with you because he is going to have a harder time from the start with training...

[Shell]

I know some will disagree, but I have used candy in the past for potty training. Honestly most of my kids are more then ready to train and it's about a week, at most, where they get a couple m&m's for pee and a few more if they poop. I also will give out ONE m&m to the other kids for cheering on their friend. I decrease the amount by the end of the week and we are DONE.

I know what the critics say, but I can't get worked up about something that is such a minor part of our day. And none of my parents mind at all - keeping in mind most of my kids potty train here before they do at home (I have a firm PT policy but if I see a child is ready and I have time I will start it up, cause I'm all about one less diaper to change )

Now, I would NOT be pt'ing kids who didn't show any readiness signs anyway and I refuse to do it for longer then the week - because IME, kids who are ready to train do so that quickly. You absolutely have the right to what works for you and your group and if you don't want to go down that road then hold firm.

This

[butterfly]

I have an autistic son. I agree with a pp about making sure his routine at home and daycare is exactly the same to give him the best opportunity to be successful. That being said, I trained my own autistic son without rewards of any kind - other than verbal praise.

I don't like using food as a reward. (M&M's would not be ok here even if I would use them as a reward due to allergies.)

I do use stickers. I have a variety of stickers. The child can pick out a sticker after doing potty successfully. It gets the non potty trained kids excited about pottying too, because that's the ONLY time they get a sticker at my home. As they progress through training, the rewards become less and less (after frequent successes they'll only get a sticker when TELLING me they need to potty, then only get a sticker when they have a BM in the toliet, then stickers are done)

For this child, I'd have some more conversations about at home PT. Is he really being successful at home with the reward he has or is it only working occasionally? I would see if they could switch his reward to something you are willing to do at daycare to maintain the consistency. In my case, I'd tell them that candy will not work due to the other allergies I have in my care and the risk involved.

[cheerfuldom]

I dont use candy as a reward but I would make an exception for a special needs child. He needs consistency more than ever and if candy does the trick, so be it. I would have him eat one small piece each time where the other kids cannot see. I would at least try it moms way. If its too disruptive and you cant contain his waste by pullup or diaper, than they need to go to a daycare that can accommodate the candy with training.

[LoraJenkins]

I have an autistic son. I agree with a pp about making sure his routine at home and daycare is exactly the same to give him the best opportunity to be successful. That being said, I trained my own autistic son without rewards of any kind - other than verbal praise.

I don't like using food as a reward. (M&M's would not be ok here even if I would use them as a reward due to allergies.)

I do use stickers. I have a variety of stickers. The child can pick out a sticker after doing potty successfully. It gets the non potty trained kids excited about pottying too, because that's the ONLY time they get a sticker at my home. As they progress through training, the rewards become less and less (after frequent successes they'll only get a sticker when TELLING me they need to potty, then only get a sticker when they have a BM in the toliet, then stickers are done)

For this child, I'd have some more conversations about at home PT. Is he really being successful at home with the reward he has or is it only working occasionally? I would see if they could switch his reward to something you are willing to do at daycare to maintain the consistency. In my case, I'd tell them that candy will not work due to the other allergies I have in my care and the risk involved.

[spinnymarie]

I also will give out ONE m&m to the other kids for cheering on their friend. I decrease the amount by the end of the week and we are DONE.

I haven't PT'd a DCK yet, but this is what I did with my own kids - made it a group effort, and then quickly phased it out.
If hte parent's are fine with it, I'm fine with giving out ONE TINY piece of candy at each successful attempt, as long as every kid participates.
I can see how this woudl get annoying when PTing several kids at the same time, but if it speeds up the process... I'd rather give out 1 m&M to everyone 10 times a day for a week than PT for months!

[Childminder]

I used chocolate chips once to potty train a particularly stubborn child. The mini chips, btw. All the children would get one if she peeped and two if she pooped. Took three days and she was trained. I had her day and night while mom was having a baby but previous attempts had not worked. The chips seemed to be the Aha moment.

[CedarCreek]

I do the same with the children I potty train. 1 M&M for #1, 2 for #2.

The older children get 2 for flushing and washing their hands during a training period. I don't think its fair that they get nothing while the littles are training.

[e.j.]

I know some will disagree, but I have used candy in the past for potty training. Honestly most of my kids are more then ready to train and it's about a week, at most, where they get a couple m&m's for pee and a few more if they poop. I also will give out ONE m&m to the other kids for cheering on their friend. I decrease the amount by the end of the week and we are DONE.

I know what the critics say, but I can't get worked up about something that is such a minor part of our day. And none of my parents mind at all - keeping in mind most of my kids potty train here before they do at home (I have a firm PT policy but if I see a child is ready and I have time I will start it up, cause I'm all about one less diaper to change )

Now, I would NOT be pt'ing kids who didn't show any readiness signs anyway and I refuse to do it for longer then the week - because IME, kids who are ready to train do so that quickly. You absolutely have the right to what works for you and your group and if you don't want to go down that road then hold firm.

I do the same, only I give 1 m&m for pee, 2 for bms. I give the other kids in the group the same as I give the potty trainee. At first, I give the m&ms as a reward. Then I "forget" to offer them and will give them out only if reminded. It really doesn't take long before using the bathroom is automatic and the kids forget about asking for their m&ms.

If the parents were dead set against giving candy, I'd respect their wishes. Since this boy's parents do give candy, I'd try to follow their lead just to keep things consistent for him. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.