New Here And I Really Need Help With DCB

[Daisy]

I started watching a new boy about 3 weeks ago and it has been a disaster. The boy is 4 and he is having a difficult time here. I have a 4 year old boy of mine own, and the daycare boy doesn't want to play with him, in fact he doesn't want to play with anything. He just walks around my house doing nothing all day. He is very sensitive and covers his ears his ears if the other kids get loud. He also cries if he hears certain words(not naughty words, just normal words) and screams and says he doesn't like those words. He also doesn't understand how to play pretend, my son will cook pretend food in his play kitchen and try to serve the boy, and he cries and freaks out and says he wants real food. He also cried when my son put leaves on his leg when they were outside playing. Another thing I have noticed is that he is very concerned that the other kids are trying to get and eat his lunch. He cries even if another kid gets too close to him when he eats. Ugh I just don't know what to do. Oh yeah he also freaked out because my 1 year old son didn't have a shirt on.
Those are just the things I can think of right off the top of my head, but I know there are plenty more examples. It's like he has no idea how to play. even when I set out activities like crayons, or play doh he will do it for like 5 minutes and then cry and say he can't do it anymore. I just don't know but something is off. This just can't be normal behavior. I understand some kids need time to adjust but this is just really extreme.
I really need some advice as to what to do. Thanks.

[cheerfuldom]

may be sensory issues since he is sensitive to sound and probably being touched. but it may just be that he is horribly unsocialized. i had a 4 year old just like that and she had been with a nanny her whole life and just was so confused to be around other kids. there were no other young kids in her family and the nanny did not take her out much as there was also a teenage special needs brother the nanny was watching. anywho, sounds like this child needs a lot of work and attention. either you can deal with that or you cant. its understandable to term and just let mom know that boy is very unhappy there and you all arent a good fit for each other

[Willow]

may be sensory issues since he is sensitive to sound and probably being touched. but it may just be that he is horribly unsocialized. i had a 4 year old just like that and she had been with a nanny her whole life and just was so confused to be around other kids. there were no other young kids in her family and the nanny did not take her out much as there was also a teenage special needs brother the nanny was watching. anywho, sounds like this child needs a lot of work and attention. either you can deal with that or you cant. its understandable to term and just let mom know that boy is very unhappy there and you all arent a good fit for each other

[nannyde]

Is he on an ipad or tablet at home?

[playdate4]

may be sensory issues since he is sensitive to sound and probably being touched. but it may just be that he is horribly unsocialized. i had a 4 year old just like that and she had been with a nanny her whole life and just was so confused to be around other kids. there were no other young kids in her family and the nanny did not take her out much as there was also a teenage special needs brother the nanny was watching. anywho, sounds like this child needs a lot of work and attention. either you can deal with that or you cant. its understandable to term and just let mom know that boy is very unhappy there and you all arent a good fit for each other

Agree..

[Daisy]

I know that he has been around kids because he used to go to a center. I'm not sure what electronics he has at home. It's just odd to me that a 4 year old has no idea how to play. I need to talk to the mom and tell her that maybe he will be better with a new place.

[Soccermom]

He is likely trying to adjust from Center to home daycare. He may also have had a bad experience at the center he was attending prior to him coming to you. Did DCM mention why she was removing him from there?
He may also have some issues that DCM has failed to let you in on. I have a DCB who is diagnosed with Asperger's and he sounds a lot like your DCB.

He cries for nothing, obsessives over what time mom will arrive even though everyone else is having fun, doesn't like to be touched, doesn't like loud noises even though he is SUPER loud most of the time, didn't want to participate in anything, didn't want to eat with the other kids.

I never force him to participate and just say it is okay if he just wants to watch. I also sat him alone at a little picnic table beside our big table for the first little while to avoid conflict.

At first he had a hard time playing with toys or playing pretend with the other kids but after a few months of observing he started playing with trains and things. Now he is very social and loves coming here. He sits with the other kids to eat and sometimes (not often) he will participate in craft or games time.

I say Hang in there. I would also discuss with DCM and ask what he likes to do at home. That way you can plan activities and have some toys that are familiar to him.

[Familycare71]

Is he on an ipad or tablet at home?

Just curious why you asked this?

[coolconfidentme]

Is he on an ipad or tablet at home?

I have some SA kids who are on them constantly at home & have socializing problems here. One boy wants to sit on the couch until DCM gets here.

[Daisy]

They moved and she can't afford a center anymore. I forgot to mention that he always says he wants to be alone. Soemthing in my gut is telling me that it's more than just him having a hard time adjusting. I'm not familiar with aspergers so I'm not sure if that could be a possiblity. I don't know, maybe he just needs more time. I'm sort of thinking out loud so forgive me for rambling.

[spinnymarie]

I have a DCB who is diagnosed with Asperger's and he sounds a lot like your DCB.

This was my first thought.

[Blackcat31]

They moved and she can't afford a center anymore. I forgot to mention that he always says he wants to be alone. Soemthing in my gut is telling me that it's more than just him having a hard time adjusting. I'm not familiar with aspergers so I'm not sure if that could be a possiblity. I don't know, maybe he just needs more time. I'm sort of thinking out loud so forgive me for rambling.

My DS has Aspergers and he preferred to play alone but he did play and he knew how to play. He just didn't like to play in groups.

I wonder if the center he went to was super structured and scheduled every moment of the day....seems when that happens, it doesn't give the kids much time to learn to play independently so they have NO clue how to do anything other than what they are told to do...kwim?

[cheerfuldom]

They moved and she can't afford a center anymore. I forgot to mention that he always says he wants to be alone. Soemthing in my gut is telling me that it's more than just him having a hard time adjusting. I'm not familiar with aspergers so I'm not sure if that could be a possiblity. I don't know, maybe he just needs more time. I'm sort of thinking out loud so forgive me for rambling.

well keep in mind that just because they moved does not mean that there was no previous issues at the center. its possibly the staff was concerned but the parents brushed it off since they were leaving soon anyway. or the center just kept a kid even though he wasn't thriving there. centers are notorious for doing that. I am not saying she is lying. I am just saying that you may not have the whole truth.

[Hunni Bee]

I had a child like that. He screamed and cried over everything. He'd scream for food like he was in the final stages of starvation, but would throw the entire plate away uneaten. He would scream (and I do mean scream) that the other kids were bothering him when no one would be anywhere near him. He only wanted to play with the same one or two toys, he couldn't play with the kids at all. He would just burst into frenzied crying out of nowhere...

I'm pretty sure he was on the spectrum somewhere, but the mother and grandmother resisted getting him evaluated and tried to blame it on us, saying we let the other kids bother him. I quit that wretched job, so I don't know what happened to him.

Your situation sounds familiar because the mom of my kid claimed he'd been in daycare before, but he was so confused and freaked out by everything, I think she was lying.

[Unregistered]

I just spoke to the mom and told her how he seems to have a lot of anxiety when he is here. She then told me how he is now hitting her and that he has never hit anyone ever before starting at my house. She also said that he loved this old daycare and had so much fun there. Maybe he just isn't a good fit. He also washes his hands all the time and yesterday I asked him why and he said because of baby germs. I'm pretty sure she is going to find someone else, I don't need the money so it's really NBD if he leaves, I just hate seeing an unhappy 4 year old. My cousin also mentioned that maybe he is on the spectrum, but I have no experience with it so I have no idea.