VENT Angry DCM b/c Terminated

[playdate4]

So I have this dck who is 3.5 Not potty trained has 4 words in his vocabulary.. Not a big deal as my own 3 year old isn't potty trained and is a year delayed. I agreed to lower rate than normal since dcm brings meals and snacks.. the dck onlyyy eats tv dinners, Cheetos,fruit snacks and strawberry milk.. No biggie just means 2 separate lunches and snacks.. well he is very loud runs through my home breaks crayons and toys (almost my tv) dck is always late etc.. Gets mad if he gets dirty. I have only had him in my home for a month and he is also aggressive well he has hit my children and punched them So I gave DCM two weeks notice yesterday.. SHE WAS NOT happy telling me it was only 10 days I said nicely actually its 2 weeks.. she called me when she got to here car yelling at me because when she switched him to my home she didn't want him to have to change daycare providers.. I told her about his hitting and she said strange he never does that at home.. but yet I have watched him hit her before. She told me she would let me know if I would have him next week when she picks him up she came in when she picked him up and laid my money on couch and barely said 2 words to me... So I texted her this am and asked if I would have him on wed.. and she said yes because I haven't found anyone yet to take him. She is clearly angry!
I do babysit part time its really not for the money but for the fact I love children my children come first and always will.. Now my children are no angels but physically harming them NO........ I also am taking a full time baby late November too More pay hours are daytime hours not bar hours.. and more pay.. another thread on that coming soon

[Mister Sir Husband]

Welp, if any of my dcks were to be agressive towards my own children ... or even another dck, I would possibly give one warning to the parents before terming them. If the agressive action involved a punch, I would immediately terminate. By immediate, I mean call the parents to come get them now.

[Angelsj]

Sounds like the aggressiveness might originate with the parent. You have done the right thing. There are those here that can help you with HOW you do this stuff that can lessen the parental anger, but some will get mad no matter how nice you are. :hug:

[EchoMom]

You did the right thing. In my experience there is no good term. The parents allllllll get mad because they have been inconvenienced and can't get what they want. I teamed a boy after 7 days because he was an expert biter. You can't argue with them when parents say it's never happened before. Either they're lying or just don't know but you can't convince them. I just say mam if it's never happened before than all the more reason why this is not a good fit for dck.

[cheerfuldom]

you did the right thing. don't be afraid to let the mom go immediately if you are finding this child getting too much for you to handle! or if the mom gets especially hateful.

[JoseyJo]

You did the right thing. In my experience there is no good term. The parents allllllll get mad because they have been inconvenienced and can't get what they want. I teamed a boy after 7 days because he was an expert biter. You can't argue with them when parents say it's never happened before. Either they're lying or just don't know but you can't convince them. I just say mam if it's never happened before than all the more reason why this is not a good fit for dck.

Yep! I finally went this route with the mom of my hitter during his term. She kept saying she never saw it even though it did it to her at p/u all the time. If he only does it here that is even more of a reason for us not to be a good fit!

[Blackcat31]

If he only does it here that is even more of a reason for us not to be a good fit!

This!

If DCM says he doesn't do it at home. Just agree. It doesn't matter.

ALL that matters is he hits at your house. He isn't getting better.

He needs to be termed. Sorry mom. You have to do what's best for the other kids in care.

[playdate4]

Thanks everyone you made me feel so much better about my decision!

[kimsdaycare]

When they tell you it never happens at home, then all the better! If the parent says they only do it at *your* house, then this obviously not the best environment for their child and a change of daycares should eliminate whatever is causing it. That response only works against their argument imho.

I agree with the others, expect conflict with a termination for the most part. Especially when it is for violent behavior. Children often inherit impulsive and angry tendencies from the family tree they sprouted from

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

When they tell you it never happens at home, then all the better! If the parent says they only do it at *your* house, then this obviously not the best environment for their child and a change of daycares should eliminate whatever is causing it. That response only works against their argument imho.

I agree with the others, expect conflict with a termination for the most part. Especially when it is for violent behavior. Children often inherit impulsive and angry tendencies from the family tree they sprouted from

Exactly. I've never had a smooth term.