That One DCK That You Really Can't Stand Vent

[Soccermom]

You ever have a DCK that you just could not stand!
I have one right now who drives me bananas!!! Everything he says sounds like whining, he is constantly in my face wanting or needing something and has NO idea how to play like a normal child!
He makes the biggest messes at snack and lunch and just seems soooo far behind the other kids his age socially.
He laughs OVERLY loud and gets way too excited about the most minor things. It is impossible to play any active games with him because he gets so overboard crazy.
There is nothing clinically wrong him but he is just one of those kids who seem to need 4 times more attention than all the others because they are so much work to care for.
I feel so bad about feeling like this but it really is the truth. I feel miserable when he is here and cannot wait to put him for a nap.
His parents are those No Discipline, No boundaries, No yelling type of new age parents. I can see now why they drop their kids off at my place while they hang out at home on their days off.

[Unregistered]

You ever have a DCK that you just could not stand!
I have one right now who drives me bananas!!! Everything he says sounds like whining, he is constantly in my face wanting or needing something and has NO idea how to play like a normal child!
He makes the biggest messes at snack and lunch and just seems soooo far behind the other kids his age socially.
He laughs OVERLY loud and gets way too excited about the most minor things. It is impossible to play any active games with him because he gets so overboard crazy.
There is nothing clinically wrong him but he is just one of those kids who seem to need 4 times more attention than all the others because they are so much work to care for.
I feel so bad about feeling like this but it really is the truth. I feel miserable when he is here and cannot wait to put him for a nap.
His parents are those No Discipline, No boundaries, No yelling type of new age parents. I can see now why they drop their kids off at my place while they hang out at home on their days off.

I had a child last year that just got under my skin. I honestly don't know why because he wasn't doing anything wrong or anything different from the other children. For some reason he just got under my skin. He was only here for a month before I terminated.

[blessed mom]

You ever have a DCK that you just could not stand!
I have one right now who drives me bananas!!! Everything he says sounds like whining, he is constantly in my face wanting or needing something and has NO idea how to play like a normal child!
He makes the biggest messes at snack and lunch and just seems soooo far behind the other kids his age socially.
He laughs OVERLY loud and gets way too excited about the most minor things. It is impossible to play any active games with him because he gets so overboard crazy.
There is nothing clinically wrong him but he is just one of those kids who seem to need 4 times more attention than all the others because they are so much work to care for.
I feel so bad about feeling like this but it really is the truth. I feel miserable when he is here and cannot wait to put him for a nap.
His parents are those No Discipline, No boundaries, No yelling type of new age parents. I can see now why they drop their kids off at my place while they hang out at home on their days off.

I'm so sorry, it's true that sometimes we just click with some more then others!!

If discipline gets out of control you may need to have a talk with parents. I had one that was a bit out of control here because of parenting styles but now he is absolutely very well behaved here. He gets nuts when parents come but after some consistency here he has learned that it's not ok here and this child rarely gets a time out now.

[CedarCreek]

:hug:

I'm sorry that you feel this way, high needs kiddos are tough! I know you probably don't want to hear this but should you maybe give notice to the parents? It doesn't sound like the family is a good fit.

I have all of the kids follow by my rules no matter what the parenting style (I'm not saying that you don't do this too!) it takes a lot of time but they get it eventually. No whining, inside voices, any messes you make, you clean up.

If they didn't have the hang of it after a while and they really were driving me crazy everyday, I'd term.

I haven't had to do that yet though. Most of the time they behave for me but not their parents.

[coolconfidentme]

I can redirect clingy kids, but rude & defiant is a different story. I have a DCB who is always in trouble. I rewrote my some of policy because of him. (5 timeouts in 1 day for inappropriate behavior & parent gets called to pick up & DCK cannot return for 24 hours.) He seems to do anything to get attention, good, bad or indifferent. He comes with no manners, is rude, selfish, toy hoarder, tattles & does the opposite of what you ask or tell him to do. He whines as soon as his mom gets here.

[Soccermom]

:hug:

I'm sorry that you feel this way, high needs kiddos are tough! I know you probably don't want to hear this but should you maybe give notice to the parents? It doesn't sound like the family is a good fit.

I have all of the kids follow by my rules no matter what the parenting style (I'm not saying that you don't do this too!) it takes a lot of time but they get it eventually. No whining, inside voices, any messes you make, you clean up.

If they didn't have the hang of it after a while and they really were driving me crazy everyday, I'd term.

I haven't had to do that yet though. Most of the time they behave for me but not their parents.

I have considered it. It is a sibling set though so if I lose 1 I lose 3. I just keep hoping that time will help and that he will grow out of it. It is terrible to feel this way about a little DCB.

I love all my DCKS like my own but just can't seem to connect with him at all. Funny thing is he doesn't seem to bond with anyone, not even his parents. He doesn't give hugs to his parents and he doesn't seem to be close to his siblings either...it is strange.

I think that is what makes it hard to deal with him. Anyone who deals with children knows that they can be absolutely horrible all day but as soon as they look at you with that little smile and give you a big hug, you heart just melts and all is forgiven. You don't get that feeling with him at all.

[CedarCreek]

I have considered it. It is a sibling set though so if I lose 1 I lose 3. I just keep hoping that time will help and that he will grow out of it. It is terrible to feel this way about a little DCB.

I love all my DCKS like my own but just can't seem to connect with him at all. Funny thing is he doesn't seem to bond with anyone, not even his parents. He doesn't give hugs to his parents and he doesn't seem to be close to his siblings either...it is strange.

I think that is what makes it hard to deal with him. Anyone who deals with children knows that they can be absolutely horrible all day but as soon as they look at you with that little smile and give you a big hug, you heart just melts and all is forgiven. You don't get that feeling with him at all.

That is strange that he doesn't seem to affectionate with his parents. My oldest ds is rarely affectionate with us but he has Cornelia de Lange syndrome which can have some traits that are like Autisim.

That makes it hard that he's part of a sibling set too. I'd start nipping some of the behaviors in the bud. As soon as he starts whining, cut him off and say," no whining". If he makes a mess at lunch, make him help you clean it up. As soon as he starts to laugh too loud say,"inside giggles".

I hope it gets better!

[Scout]

I can redirect clingy kids, but rude & defiant is a different story. I have a DCB who is always in trouble. I rewrote my some of policy because of him. (5 timeouts in 1 day for inappropriate behavior & parent gets called to pick up & DCK cannot return for 24 hours.) He seems to do anything to get attention, good, bad or indifferent. He comes with no manners, is rude, selfish, toy hoarder, tattles & does the opposite of what you ask or tell him to do. He whines as soon as his mom gets here.

I have this exact kid! And what stinks is that the parents are freaking great! Always pay on time, never use free days for when their child isn't here, etc! I can't understand where this child came from!

[WImom]

YES!! I always seem to have one. I have two right now - they are the same personality.

[daycarediva]

:hug:

I'm sorry that you feel this way, high needs kiddos are tough! I know you probably don't want to hear this but should you maybe give notice to the parents? It doesn't sound like the family is a good fit.

I have all of the kids follow by my rules no matter what the parenting style (I'm not saying that you don't do this too!) it takes a lot of time but they get it eventually. No whining, inside voices, any messes you make, you clean up.

If they didn't have the hang of it after a while and they really were driving me crazy everyday, I'd term.

I haven't had to do that yet though. Most of the time they behave for me but not their parents.

I would advertise to replace and then term them. I don't keep kids I truly don't like.

[Laurel]

I had a little girl like this but I wasn't doing child care at the time. I was volunteering in my daughter's class. I did it regularly though and didn't like how I felt about this child so really wanted to find a solution.

I made myself pretend that she my favorite child in that class. It was hard at first. I'd compliment her on something or pick her for something. Obviously, this was all in my head. I wasn't showing favoritism outwardly.

I swear it didn't take long and I almost felt she WAS my favorite. I know this is not like having them every day and she didn't have any glaring behavior problems. She just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.

I love my grandson dearly (who is in my child care now) but a lot of times he can be a real PITA. He was going through a particularly bad phase and had it been another child I might have considered terming but he is my grandson! My provider friend has the same kind of thing going on with her grandson. So I was/am determined to make things better. Things are slowly improving because I'm not giving up on my grandson...no way.

Maybe pretend he is yours or a relative??? What might you do differently or try IF you couldn't term him.

Laurel

[Josiegirl]

I've been there and you have my deepest feelings of empathy on this one. It used to make me feeling like a horrible dcprovider, knowing I wasn't bonding like I wanted to, with the little boy. He definitely had some issues and was very loud, defiant, would get right in everybody's face, acted like a bull in a china shop, would throw things when he got mad at me, and on and on and on. He moved on naturally after a year. The biggest problem was he and another dcb I had at the time attended prek together and the other dcb detested being with him. So yeh, for that entire year, we had sooo much fun.

[melilley]

Yes! I was actually going to post a while ago asking if anyone has a dck that they just can't bond with, but then I felt bad. Glad I'm not the only one!

I have one child who started at 6 months and cried all the time, his mom constantly held him and breastfed like her breasts were pacifiers so here all he did was cry. I tried (had it in my mind) to terminate, but couldn't.
Now he is 14 months and is a little better, but I just can't seem to bond with him! I have tried, but it just isn't happening.

I think that just like adults, some children we vibe with, others we don't.

[Soccermom]

It is nice to know I am not alone. I do feel awful....

I am going to hang in there and keep trying to wait it out. Maybe I will eventually find something to love about him. I don't treat him any differently than the others and make more of an effort to be extra nice to him hoping that he will bond with me but deep down inside I am always so aggravated.

[spinnymarie]

Maybe I will eventually find something to love about him.

For me this is one of the hardest things about the job, having a kid that you don't click with and finding something to love about them
For me, it's the brother in a sibling group as well, but I just LOVE the way he plays with my DS (most of the time), so that helps a LOT.
I know your difficult one doesn't bond with others so that's not much help, but I hope you can find something!