Paranoid Parent after Serious Accident

[Unregistered]

So I just met with a family today who has an 8 month old little girl. They were a very nice family and the baby seemed like a sweet baby, however, the mom was VERY paranoid!! She was nervous, sweaty and told me many times that she is really nervous about her daughter being in daycare. With that said, I completely understand...

Here's the backstory.. They just started her in daycare at the beginning of this school year. They are now looking for a different daycare because there was an incident at her last daycare where she was left unattended while the provider answered the phone and the baby fell, hit her head, and ended up with a fractured skull.

Back to out meeting today.. with the level of just how nervous and worried and concerned this mom was, I really do not feel comfortable caring for her baby. I worry that if she were to ever get a bump or scratch (which happens frequently with young kids), the mom would freak out. I believe trust between a parent and provider is very important and I feel like she would never fully trust me (which I understand given her prior daycare experience). In all honesty, I think she should stay home to care for her daughter if she's able to do so.

Anyways, I don't know what to tell this family. I don't want to be mean or hurt them, but I definitely don't feel comfortable enrolling this baby with me.

[Blackcat31]

Just as trust is a valuable and necessary thing, so is communication. Why not just tell the mom/dad what you just said here.

Let them know that kids do and WILL get a bump, bruise and/or scratches while in care. It happens. Let them know that you aren't sure you can work with a family that isn't able to fully open up and trust that you aren't their old provider and that things WILL happen to their DD (unless they covr her in bubble wrap).

You might be surprised at their reaction. Mom may really just want a provider she can trust and share her concerns with....no matter how over the top they are...she might need someone who balances her out in order to move past their previous experience.

I am sure that given what has already happened, if mom could stay home and not use child care, she probably would.

So, just be honest. Nothing wrong with that at all and saying her mistrust, is uncomfortable to you shouldn't be hurtful to her.

[Cradle2crayons]

Just as trust is a valuable and necessary thing, so is communication. Why not just tell the mom/dad what you just said here.

Let them know that kids do and WILL get a bump, bruise and/or scratches while in care. It happens. Let them know that you aren't sure you can work with a family that isn't able to fully open up and trust that you aren't their old provider and that things WILL happen to their DD (unless they covr her in bubble wrap).

You might be surprised at their reaction. Mom may really just want a provider she can trust and share her concerns with....no matter how over the top they are...she might need someone who balances her out in order to move past their previous experience.

I am sure that given what has already happened, if mom could stay home and not use child care, she probably would.

So, just be honest. Nothing wrong with that at all and saying her mistrust, is uncomfortable to you shouldn't be hurtful to her.

I would absolutely communicate your feelings to her. And validate HER feelings. Likely that's what she's searching for anyway. Someone to understand how she feels.

[wdmmom]

If you have other prospective families, interview them all and choose one that you think would best fit into your program.

If you think this family might work, I would encourage setting up at least 2 more in person interviews. Explain that as children get mobile, bumps and bruises are common and that they are inevitable. I would also explain that your home is baby-proofed the best way you can make it be and that children are never left unattended.

I can understand the mother's concerns but you can't be an airplane and hover over her all day either.

I would explain these things to her.

[Cradle2crayons]

If you have other prospective families, interview them all and choose one that you think would best fit into your program.

If you think this family might work, I would encourage setting up at least 2 more in person interviews. Explain that as children get mobile, bumps and bruises are common and that they are inevitable. I would also explain that your home is baby-proofed the best way you can make it be and that children are never left unattended.

I can understand the mother's concerns but you can't be an airplane and hover over her all day either.

I would explain these things to her.

And also, explain your first aid policy. I always do that at interview. I show them my boo boo form, and explain common bonks etc and what I do to prevent and treat them because they ARE inevitable, especially in children that age. I also explain that I am just as concerned about their child's safety as I am my own and do all the same prevention and treatment as I would for my own.

[Margarete]

Here's the backstory.. They just started her in daycare at the beginning of this school year. They are now looking for a different daycare because there was an incident at her last daycare where she was left unattended while the provider answered the phone and the baby fell, hit her head, and ended up with a fractured skull.

.

Eeep! i can understand your hesitation. I would make it clear that scrapes and bruises will happen. Most providers leave kids unattended for short times like going to the bathroom, and even when you are right there watching injuries can happen, and get a feel for her reaction.
This provider should not left an 8 month old unattended in a location where they could fall and fracture their skull, I always make sure infants are in a safe location before stepping away for even a moment. I can't think of where the baby would be where this could even happen, unless maybe an older child were involved in moving, or unbuckling them.
Talk with her about the type of injuries that are typical. She will most likely be fine in a few months when she gets to know you. She is understandably shaken from what happened.

[TwinKristi]

This same thing happened when my friend had her MIL, who is a 20+ year PICU nurse, watch her son. Accidents do happen, even with the most careful providers. Of course in a daycare setting its a horrible thing to deal with.
I personally would go with your gut on this one. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it! I had a mom who seemed really chill at first, but then she got really weird. He was 11mos and cruising around so of course he would get bumps and bruises, he even came here with more bumps than he ever got here yet if he did, she was weird about it. Like its ok to get bumps and bruises while learning to walk at home, but not at DC? :confused: Then she started doing other weird things with his food after she gave me 2wks notice. I was GLAD they left honestly. It was too much stress for me to be overly paranoid about this ONE child getting hurt. I didn't feel safe taking him outside to play with the other kids and it was hard to balance.