WWYD in This Meal Scenario?

[melskids]

mac60, i do agree...

however, i am on the food program. i am not allowed to withhold any one component of a meal in order to get the child to eat the other components. so if a child just wants the pears, then he gets them.

i dont have to worry about dessert items, because they dont get them here anyway during daycare hours. my "snack" choices are always healthy options, that way, if they dont eat their lunch, theyre getting healthy foods at snack, and it also eliminates the worry on my end that they only ate junk that day, or them trying to "one up" me by skipping lunch and trying to get the treats. they know they dont get junk at my house, and they know its their choice to eat what i serve or choose not to. as of right now, (with the exception of one little stubborn guy) they ALL eat EVERYTHING i serve. partially because they know thats what theyre gonna get, so its eat it or wait until you go home, and partially, i believe, is because i dont make a big deal about it and choose my battles.

and with my own kids, yes. they do need to eat their meal before they get dessert. but ive never forced them to eat it or clean their plate. its their choice. and 9 times out of 10, when we go out to eat, my kids will choose a salad and soup over the "kiddy" meals anyway. i totally understand having a child eat his veggies before dessert, but i grew up in a house where i was forced to eat only healthy options, while sitting there watching my father eat his oreos and ice cream in front of us. that, i believe, does cause eating disorders. my sister and i are proof.

[momofsix]

The idea that you have to eat something you don't like just because it is served by someone else is ridiculous, IMO. As a host, it would NOT offend me in the slightest...and if you, as a host, would be offended by someone choosing not to eat a dish they don't care for, as long as they were polite about it, I have to ask you, why?

I never said I would be offended! I said to be polite, I would eat some things I don't like or care for. I too, could never make myself eat seafood-the face i would make while trying to force it down would be a dead give-a-way that i didn't like it BUT, we have people here talking about kids that won't eat aything that is not their favorite--and that is what I'm referring to as how as adults we (at least I) would still eat something someone served me even if I didn't care for it. No one should be offended if something isn't liked, but feelings could be hurt, and I'd rather just eat something I'm served than risk hurting someone's feelings that worked really hard to make a meal for me. But maybe that's just me!

[misol]

Mealtimes used to be a battle for me when I first started daycare but not anymore. I used to stress over wasted food, whether a child was getting enough to eat while in my care, etc. but I now understand that our job as providers (and parents) is to offer them healthy food choices. It's their job to eat it (or not).

I am on the food program and I serve all components of the meal at once. I serve the meals family-style and I put a couple of spoonfuls of each thing on each child's plate. I always allow seconds but not thirds or fourths. If a child chooses to only eat pears then two servings of pears is all he would get until the next mealtime. He will not starve. If he is still truly hungry then he would eat something else on his plate.

[Crystal]

I would personally NEVER eat something I don't like, regardless of who served it. I am very sensitive to textures and I would puke right in front of the person serving certain things to me, and I am not going to do that to "be polite" And, I honestly do not believe that MOST adults would eat something they hated just to be cordial.

I will tell you, one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when a provider insists that a child eats something they do not like, or even insists that they try everything. The provider is not the parent....it's not the providers place to MAKE a child eat something they don't want or like. Of course, I wouldn't offer cookies if they don't eat their meal, and I won't make a completely separate meal, but I am not going to let it irritate me that a child doesn't want to eat. If they are hungry, they will eat, if they don't eat, simple enough, they wait until the next meal/snack to eat.

Let me ask you something. Is it REALLY worth the added stress, being concerned about SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD eating or not? Does it add to or take away from your productivity? Does it make you feel superior "making" a child eat and refusing to give him more of something that is readily available, just because he doesn't try or eat everything else on his plate?

I say choose your battles.....it's just not worth it to add undue stress on yourself, over something that is really more of a parenting concern than a prvider concern.

[melskids]

I would personally NEVER eat something I don't like, regardless of who served it. I am very sensitive to textures and I would puke right in front of the person serving certain things to me, and I am not going to do that to "be polite" And, I honestly do not believe that MOST adults would eat something they hated just to be cordial.

I will tell you, one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when a provider insists that a child eats something they do not like, or even insists that they try everything. The provider is not the parent....it's not the providers place to MAKE a child eat something they don't want or like. Of course, I wouldn't offer cookies if they don't eat their meal, and I won't make a completely separate meal, but I am not going to let it irritate me that a child doesn't want to eat. If they are hungry, they will eat, if they don't eat, simple enough, they wait until the next meal/snack to eat.

Let me ask you something. Is it REALLY worth the added stress, being concerned about SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD eating or not? Does it add to or take away from your productivity? Does it make you feel superior "making" a child eat and refusing to give him more of something that is readily available, just because he doesn't try or eat everything else on his plate?

I say choose your battles.....it's just not worth it to add undue stress on yourself, over something that is really more of a parenting concern than a prvider concern.

well. said. that was my original point. i'm not going to let it ruin my day, or even take space up in my head... i know i'm doing the right thing by serving and offering healthy choices. thats where my obligation ends.

and BTW, there's a difference between me eating something to be polite, and going to a neighbors BBQ and having them fix my plate and making me sit there until i finish it.

[countrymom]

so if they don't eat and their behavior is nasty and mean all day you don't think that it has nothing to do with him not eat proper healthy food. We all see it, kids who eat and are satisified function so much better than kids who don't eat.
and I find it offencive that you think we force children to eat, do you think we strap them down, and stuff food in their mouths, give me a break. I think every one of us, including encourages children to eat their food.
and I'm more of a parent to these children than their own parents, lets see, hmmm 12 hours in my house vs 3 hours with parents, who do you think these kids look for guidence.

[mac60]

Well said, and I have never been able to "make" a child eat......they have that choice.

[Crystal]

so if they don't eat and their behavior is nasty and mean all day you don't think that it has nothing to do with him not eat proper healthy food. We all see it, kids who eat and are satisified function so much better than kids who don't eat.
and I find it offencive that you think we force children to eat, do you think we strap them down, and stuff food in their mouths, give me a break. I think every one of us, including encourages children to eat their food.
and I'm more of a parent to these children than their own parents, lets see, hmmm 12 hours in my house vs 3 hours with parents, who do you think these kids look for guidence.

I NEVER said anyone FORCED anyone to eat. I said "make them try everything" or they get nothing else.

Regardless of if they are with you more hours, YOU are STILL not the parent and it's NOT your choice how they are raised. Certainly, we offer and we try, but that is where it ends. Of course I am going to attempt to guide the child to make appropriate choices, but I am not going to withhold a piece of fruit because they won't eat their mac n cheese.

I can honestly say, I have never had a child who was "nasty and mean" because they are hungry. I make sure they have enough of SOMETHING they like so that they do eat, and their tummies are full enough for them to "function" well.