WWYD in This Meal Scenario?

[countrymom]

well, thats fine if he doesn't want anything but you aint going to get the pears. I don't understand this logic, why should all the children have to eat their meal to get the "dessert" while a child who chooses not to eat can still eat "dessert" how unfair is that.
also, thats fine and dandy that they get to eat snack but then they eat twice as much at snack time than the other kids (I have kids who steal food) so again what are teaching them, bad eating habits.
My own children know that you need to eat something-even if its a couple of bites otherwise, you don't get a snack or dessert. And if its something I know they don't like I only put a tablespoon on their plate, enough for 1 bite. Also, they need to sit at the table to eat.
I also think, we as providers are having meal issues with children because at home, its all about rushing and providing junk and letting kids do what they want at dinner. I have a mom who complains all the time that the 2yr old doesn't sit at the table, I asked her why does he feel the need to raom, and she said that its too stressful to make him sit and eat, ha, he sits and eats here.

[countrymom]

I should mention also, that I do have some fruit monsters here, that they would eat fruit till their bellies couldn't take it anymore so they would be filling up on fruit (not that I want to deal with diarrhea) so then they would learn that eating fruit for meals instead of anything else would be fine.

[Jewels]

i have achild who will only eat chicken nuggets,fries,chips....junk!

today we had hotdogs,apple slices w/caramel dip , carrots and bread...ONLY thing he ate was the bread...my thing is you will just be hungry. i make NO substitutions. parents have the choice to bring his meals and dont so its his tummy that will hurt. then when snack comes he gets something totally different than the others ie: they get fruit snacks n yogurt..he will get grapes or something.

I also think it is totally unfair to give the child something different, punishing them at snack time, that would make me furious If I were that childs parent! Thats just mean......sorry.

I dont personally think you should withhold anything, and if your on the food program their guidelines state that nothing should be withheld, I agree mealtime should not be a battle, And there is no sense in forcing children to eat, while I wont give seconds for fruit unless they eat everything else, I think it should be offered, fruit is still nutritious, and if thats all their going to eat, oh well.

[kendallina]

You can't force him to eat and obviously you don't want him to go hungry. Normally the idea of having them eat all their firsts before they get seconds is a good one to encourage them to try new things and eat a variety of food. It seems like it's not working with this child, so I say, who cares if he eats an entire pear for lunch? I don't see anything wrong with that. Fruit is healthy for us and sure, it certainly doesn't include all we need for a healthy diet, but he's not eating anything else anyways and this way he won't get hungry.

Honestly, I would do what you're doing, serve the rest of the food to everyone first, encourage everyone to eat, when they're almost done, bring out the fruit and I would allow him to get 2nds and 3rds of the fruit if he wants it. He won't only eat fruit for the rest of his life, soon enough this will pass...

[SilverSabre25]

So he eats pears. I have that with my group (all are under 3, most under 2). A couple of kids will only eat the fruit, or only cracker-like things, or whatever. I serve them, they sit there not eating and watching the others eat the stuff, and I hope that eventually they figure out that it's good to eat and try it. I also eat lunch at the same time (sometimes) and if I do then it's the same food and I stress how yummy everything is; that has made a few of them take bites.

Personally I serve the fruit at the same time as everything else and I have a rule that you have to eat a significant (I look at your plate and KNOW you've eaten) amount of at least the main dish--but I use this based on their ability to understand this.

Case in point: today lunch was lunchmeat sandwiches and banana (yeah, no veggie, which was unusual, but I only felt like doing baby carrots and none of them today can eat the baby carrots, so I didn't bother; I'm not on the food program). One ate liked a starving woman (she's been sick and not eating so I'm not surprised, although she doesn't normally eat), one just ate banana, one ate nothing. I did give more banana to both who ate it, because they're too young/nonverbal to understand. Plus, bananas are cheap.

[Live and Learn]

I am not on any food program and my four families send in their child's lunch so I don't have to worry about throwing away food that I have paid for and prepared. I think that would irritate me honestly. here the kids get their protein and veggies first, then fruit, then salty crackers or anything that I consider borderline junk. I have never met a kid who will choose veggies over fruit. I don't even let them see their fruit until they are done with the veggies and protein!! they are all good little eaters and I can't remember a meal when they didn't get their fruit. it is nonnegotiable here....you want your blueberries, strawberries or watermelon? Eat your protein and veggie. ::I guess I am willing to die on this hill over food!::.....the parents all say the kids eat so good here at your house...why? Because I don't negotiate with two year olds! You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. here it is normal for each kid to have something different for snack. I have only had this happen once before and I told the parents about it but one lil fella refused to eat veggie and protein at lunch...I suspect he had seen mom pack grapes- his favorite. I never gave him his fruit for lunch of course. at snack I gave him his untouched veggie and protein and he goggles it right down....never had that problem again. he is a great eater now.

[Unregistered]

I put the food on their plates and they decide whether to eat it or not. I encourage them to try different foods but I won't force or punish if they choose not to. If a child chooses to eat only one food on his plate, I do give seconds/thirds if he asks for it as long as there is enough for the other kids to also have seconds when they're ready. Once everyone else has had a chance for seconds, I'll give him more at that point if he still wants it. I don't serve desserts so I don't have to worry about who gets one and who doesn't. Snack is a separate meal from lunch. I offer everyone the same snack and if a child is hungry because he didn't eat lunch, I give him what he needs so long as there is enough available and it doesn't take away from what the other kids in the group need.

I look at it this way: there are foods I don't like as an adult. Since I'm buying the food and serving it, I have a choice and make foods I like. I don't make food I don't like. Kids don't have that luxury.

There are foods I have never tried. Lobster looks like a big red ant to me and although I've heard it's wonderful, I have absolutely no desire to try it or to get past my revulsion toward it. I can't imagine being forced to eat it or even to take a taste of it. If it were being served for dinner, I'd choose to eat whatever else may be offered and I'd eat more of that food. I think most adults would handle food dislikes this way. Why do we expect kids to eat what they don't like and then punish them when they don't when most of us adults would never force ourselves to eat something we didn't like?

[sahm2three]

I never make a child eat, I do encourage them to take a bite of everything, I put out all food, according to the food program, you cannot withhold any food, so I give them all their food and milk, and let them eat what they want, but they may not have seconds on their fruit and stuff unless they eat everything, now if they want seconds on their veggoes I'll happily give them that! otherwise they can be all done, I have one 15 month old boy that rarely touches anything but fruit, he also wont even touch milk, I just leave him their for a little while, hoping hell nibble on other stuff, but once he gets upset I just put him down to play.

This is exactly what I do. They get a small portion of everything, and they must eat everything to get seconds.

[mac60]

well, thats fine if he doesn't want anything but you aint going to get the pears. I don't understand this logic, why should all the children have to eat their meal to get the "dessert" while a child who chooses not to eat can still eat "dessert" how unfair is that.
also, thats fine and dandy that they get to eat snack but then they eat twice as much at snack time than the other kids (I have kids who steal food) so again what are teaching them, bad eating habits.
My own children know that you need to eat something-even if its a couple of bites otherwise, you don't get a snack or dessert. And if its something I know they don't like I only put a tablespoon on their plate, enough for 1 bite. Also, they need to sit at the table to eat.
I also think, we as providers are having meal issues with children because at home, its all about rushing and providing junk and letting kids do what they want at dinner. I have a mom who complains all the time that the 2yr old doesn't sit at the table, I asked her why does he feel the need to raom, and she said that its too stressful to make him sit and eat, ha, he sits and eats here.

I agree with you. A child must eat the main part of their lunch before they get the dessert, or whatever you want to call it. I also only give very small portions if I don't think a child will like what I am serving. It is a big deal if I throw out a hot dog and mac and cheese, that is like ripping money up and throwing it in the trash. No wonder there are so many problems with kids and what they will eat and their poor eating habits. I think a lot of these eating issues and how some providers think this or that is ok or not, depends on how they were brought up. As a kid at our home, you ate what was placed in front of you or you went without. Period. I raised my own kids this way, and they have never been picky eaters.

[DancingQueen]

so - when he wants 2nds on pears.. and 3rds.. and 4ths.. because he is super hungry but pears is all that he'll eat... at what point do you say enough?

[Live and Learn]

Pears isn't all he will eat .......
guaranteed.
No second serving of fruit unless he has eaten the protein and veggie period.
if he is truly hungry he will eat the protein and veggies.... If not he is teaching you to be a short order cook instead of you teaching him to be a good lil eater.
Really...this will work....try it for a week or two. I am not fooling.::

[lovinmylife]

This is exactly what I do. They get a small portion of everything, and they must eat everything to get seconds.

We have a foster daughter who is 22 months. She has been with us 2 months and she will sit there for HOURS and won't take a bite of food if she doesn't like it. If you put a bite in her mouth for her to try she won't chew it or swallow, instead she will sit there and just drool so she doesn't have to swallow it. If you give her something she likes and she eats it all and you won't give her more she will do the same thing with any food left on her plate that she doesn't like.

We just keep offering it to her. If she hasn't ate by the time everyone else is done (4 other kids) she gets down and waits until the next meal. You can't force a child to eat it. Just let the parents know what was given and what he ate, let them feed him at dinner.

[melskids]

so - when he wants 2nds on pears.. and 3rds.. and 4ths.. because he is super hungry but pears is all that he'll eat... at what point do you say enough?

i stop at seconds. food program requires there to be enough for seconds, and i have to give it to them if they want it. after that, you either eat the rest of whats on your plate, or you wait for the next meal. now, if they have eaten everything else on thier plate, and then want thirds, O.K.

[momma2girls]

I do not give the fruit or dessert until the very end. If the child eats the main course and veg. then I offer the fruit and/or dessert. I have done this now for about 5 yrs. and it has worked very well!!! It has the children eating everything, and not wasting a whole bunch of food! I do not force a child to eat anything, but if they don't eat, they do not receive anything else. When they see what I have to offer, they sometimes rethink and eat stuff, they wouldn't normally eat. I do not cook anything I wouldn't eat myself!!

[DancingQueen]

That is what I've been doing.
I give him the meal like anyone else.
I encourage them to try everything.
I always make sure at least ONE thing on his plate he will eat.
I give him 2nds and that is all. I just say "all gone"
and he sits there and stares at his plate for a long time.
then when everyone is done - he gets down too.

Then he tries to make up for it at snack time.
So just seconds of snack is acceptable as well?
I feel like he barely eats anything here....LOL

i can NOT wait until 1/1 when I am not longer serving bfast and lunch