How to Say Nicely

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  • Unregistered

    How to Say Nicely

    I have a pregnant dm and I am also expecting a short time after her. I assumed when I told her I was also pregnant she would know I wasn't taking any more infants. I think I was more hoping she would know since she has a very dominet personality and I didn't want to have the confrontation , anyways she didn't .
    Yesterday she started telling me about her maternity leave and when her baby will be starting. I didn't know how to say, no she won't.
    Even though I have the room I don't want to do 2 newborns. How can I nicely say , I'm not taking anymore infants to someone whom I know will be upset?
  • Unregistered

    #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered
    I have a pregnant dm and I am also expecting a short time after her. I assumed when I told her I was also pregnant she would know I wasn't taking any more infants. I think I was more hoping she would know since she has a very dominet personality and I didn't want to have the confrontation , anyways she didn't .
    Yesterday she started telling me about her maternity leave and when her baby will be starting. I didn't know how to say, no she won't.
    Even though I have the room I don't want to do 2 newborns. How can I nicely say , I'm not taking anymore infants to someone whom I know will be upset?
    I would tell her after much consideration, I have decided to only have 1 newborn at a time. I don't know how some of these providers do multiple infants! They are saints! I only take 1 child under 12 months at a time. I love babies but I like having older children better. Good luck!

    Comment

    • Blackcat31
      • Oct 2010
      • 36124

      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered
      I have a pregnant dm and I am also expecting a short time after her. I assumed when I told her I was also pregnant she would know I wasn't taking any more infants. I think I was more hoping she would know since she has a very dominet personality and I didn't want to have the confrontation , anyways she didn't .
      Yesterday she started telling me about her maternity leave and when her baby will be starting. I didn't know how to say, no she won't.
      Even though I have the room I don't want to do 2 newborns. How can I nicely say , I'm not taking anymore infants to someone whom I know will be upset?
      At pick up, I would casually say "Sally, can I talk to you a minute. Yesterday when you mentioned Baby's start date, you kind of caught me by surprise so I didn't address it then but I just need to clarify with you that since I will be having my own child, I am not going to be able to enroll your infant. I am sorry if that is what you assumed but that is just not something I am willing to accommodate. I'm sorry."

      Then give her the numbers to your child care agency or wherever you refer parents who are seeking services.

      *if you really can't say that to her, you could e-mail it to her instead.

      Comment

      • CedarCreek
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Jan 2013
        • 1600

        #4
        I'm a coward. I send home letters for things like this.

        Dear DCM,

        This letter is to inform you that I will not be accepting additional infants into care after I return from my maternity leave with my own infant. As I'm sure you can understand, infants are hard work and I feel it is in the best interest of the daycare group that I only care for one infant at a time.

        Wishing you the very best,
        Provider

        Comment

        • littlemissmuffet
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Jan 2011
          • 2194

          #5
          I don't know how she thought you would take her baby when you were having your own around the same time? If I HAD to put my dd in daycare I wouldn't choose a provider that had multiple infants of the same age (I know some of ladies on this forum handle it beautifully, but unfortunately I also know some who don't) and I certainly wouldn't stay with a provider who was expecting her own around the same time because I KNOW the provider would naturally favor her own baby (I know I sure do) and I would want her to have as much time with her own baby as possible while still maintaining her business.

          That said - not everyone thinks like me (obviously) so I do think you probably should have mentioned something to the dcm sooner. It is our responsibility as business owners to have open lines of communication with our clients. I know that the minute I found out I was pregnant I decided I wouldn't be taking any kiddos on that were under 12 months so that by the time she was born/dad was off parental leave she would still have a lot of my attention. Luckily she turned out to be a very easy baby (currently 9 months) and I recently took on a 13 month old - but I also downsized (dropped 3 kids) so I could balance everything.

          I would just be honest with her and take the advice from the pps and tell her that after much consideration you have decided that you only want one infant in your care at this time. I would tell her face to face - as I think oftentimes meaning gets lost in emails. If you already anticipate her being angry, you can probably expect her to be more angry if she receives the news via email rather than in person.

          Good luck!

          Comment

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