OT Just a Little Vent

[Candy]

So i love being around kids, i always have. But lately i have been feeeling like if i don't have one of my own soon i don't think i could bare working around them. I love teaching kids new things but i don't know how long i can keep this mask on as if everything is ok. Cause its killing me to have a child that stays with me at the end of the day. Just needed to get that out.

[MamaBearCanada]

Hugs :hug:

[Candy]

Thank you I really needed it.

[MissAnn]

It's hard. I have 6 sisters who got pregnant during the time my dh and i were trying. After 5 years we adopted then 5 years after that we had our son. I tried to cover up my sadness but that only made it worse. My kids are now 21 and 26. Hang in there....it will work
Itself out in the best of ways.

[Maria2013]

:hug:

[nanglgrl]

:hug:

[jenn]

I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you.

My husband and I tried for years and years. After many fertility treatments, we were told to stop trying, it was just not going to happen. At that time, I taught kindergarten and it just made me sick to see the kids that were not being treasured as they should be. Listening to others complain about being pregnant or complain about their kids was just more that I could stand. I quit at the end of that year.
I opened my daycare because I do love children and love working with them, but that also became challenging. Again, the parents not being responsible, complaining,...it was hard to take.
While shopping for a baby shower one day (everyone I knew seemed to be pregnant, and I secretly resented them for it), I found myself glaring and feeling true hatred toward a woman in the baby department pushing around a toddler and very pregnant. I had never seen this woman before, but disliked her. I felt like I was being punished. I felt very alone. I stopped going to baby showers, because it just made me feel so bad about myself. The emptiness was unbearable.
A few years after we quit trying, I was pregnant. We weren't trying, and didn't really believe the test to be correct. Threatened miscarriage, false positive of a fatal disorder, blood clots,...the pregnancy was a mess, but I treasured every second of it. Don't give up. Never give up. Doctors don't know everything. I still wonder why it took so long and why I had to go through all of that for something that comes so naturally to others, but I am thankful. I am so blessed to have my one. (Now I secretly resent those with more than one. I don't think I've ever admitted that before though.)
You will be in my prayers.

[Candy]

Thanks everyone you have been so helpful and understanding

[My3cents]

So i love being around kids, i always have. But lately i have been feeeling like if i don't have one of my own soon i don't think i could bare working around them. I love teaching kids new things but i don't know how long i can keep this mask on as if everything is ok. Cause its killing me to have a child that stays with me at the end of the day. Just needed to get that out.

you will. Be patient.

I don't know about anyone else, but daycare kids compared to my own kids are totally different. The bond is different.

lovethis:hug:

[butterfly]

I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you.

My husband and I tried for years and years. After many fertility treatments, we were told to stop trying, it was just not going to happen. At that time, I taught kindergarten and it just made me sick to see the kids that were not being treasured as they should be. Listening to others complain about being pregnant or complain about their kids was just more that I could stand. I quit at the end of that year.
I opened my daycare because I do love children and love working with them, but that also became challenging. Again, the parents not being responsible, complaining,...it was hard to take.
While shopping for a baby shower one day (everyone I knew seemed to be pregnant, and I secretly resented them for it), I found myself glaring and feeling true hatred toward a woman in the baby department pushing around a toddler and very pregnant. I had never seen this woman before, but disliked her. I felt like I was being punished. I felt very alone. I stopped going to baby showers, because it just made me feel so bad about myself. The emptiness was unbearable.
A few years after we quit trying, I was pregnant. We weren't trying, and didn't really believe the test to be correct. Threatened miscarriage, false positive of a fatal disorder, blood clots,...the pregnancy was a mess, but I treasured every second of it. Don't give up. Never give up. Doctors don't know everything. I still wonder why it took so long and why I had to go through all of that for something that comes so naturally to others, but I am thankful. I am so blessed to have my one. (Now I secretly resent those with more than one. I don't think I've ever admitted that before though.)
You will be in my prayers.

This is exactly how I feel! Only for me it wasn't failed pregnancy attempts, but failed adoption. I'm so resentful of anyone else who has adopted children. I really want to be happy for them, but it's just too painful right now.

:hug: to all who feel your pain OP and PPs

[Evansmom]

Thank you everyone for sharing how you feel about fertility issues.

My sister and her husband have been trying for quite a while (4 years) and just got the news that he has zero sperm. I just don't know what to do/say. I don't ask too many questions because I know it's a tender spot for her. They want babies and would be such good parents! My heart breaks for them.

Meanwhile I have 3 kids and just had my first grand baby. On the one hand I want to share our life with my sis of course. She's my only sibling. On the other hand I feel guilty having easily had all these children and now a grand daughter.

What can I do to help her? What should I say? I don't want to say the wrong thing.
What would help you or what could your friends and families do for you to help ease the pain?

[jenn]

Thank you everyone for sharing how you feel about fertility issues.

My sister and her husband have been trying for quite a while (4 years) and just got the news that he has zero sperm. I just don't know what to do/say. I don't ask too many questions because I know it's a tender spot for her. They want babies and would be such good parents! My heart breaks for them.

Meanwhile I have 3 kids and just had my first grand baby. On the one hand I want to share our life with my sis of course. She's my only sibling. On the other hand I feel guilty having easily had all these children and now a grand daughter.

What can I do to help her? What should I say? I don't want to say the wrong thing.
What would help you or what could your friends and families do for you to help ease the pain?

Sometimes, there is just nothing to say. Everyone is different, so how to help everyone is probably different. For me, the friends that helped the most were the ones that just didn't bring it up, but were there to listen (not necessarily give advice) and let me cry on their shoulder when I needed to. I secretly hated the "I understand" statements. If you haven't been through it, you don't understand. Trying for 2 month and not getting pregnant is different than infertility. Maybe just say or give her a thinking of you card that tells her you are here for her anytime she needs you. One thing a friend offered to do for me that I really appreciated was to do a multi family sale with the proceeds going toward treatment. We stopped treatments, so didn't do it, but I thought it was a really kind, genuine offer. I guess it could be used for treatment/donor/adoption money, or whatever their future plans are.

I am so blessed that I was eventually able to have my daughter. Not one single day is taken for granted. I always keep those still trying in my prayers.