My Situation... Thoughts? Longer Post

[dingledine]

I opened my daycare about a year ago, because I was filing for divorce from my husband for many, very good, reasons. He has straightened up his life though, and is being very much a different person, for nearly a year, so I filed a motion to stop the divorce.

We are paying to send my 19 year old to college, and we have an 8 year old boy with some sensory issues, and our four year old daughter. We can afford for me not to work, if we budget very carefully.

I have mixed feelings about daycare. I currently watch a nice little girl and her brother... both are good, quiet, children, and their parents are great, however they are leaving due to job changes in December. I also watch a little 16mo old girl.

I have watched the little girl since she was 4mo, so she is quite attached. I have always had problems due to the fact that she poops 3-7x a day, and my changing area is away from my main play area, and there isn't anything I can do about that. She also has a scream from hades, it goes into your brain, and is like a worm crawling around in there. These things have always been a problem of sorts. Her parents are also great, we are on the same page with her. She has been biting, hitting, is jealous of other children on my lap, grabs toys from other kids, slams toys around. She listens pretty well, dumps toys a LOT, but is getting better at helping to clean them up. Her parents will get out work a bit early if I need to take my kids somewhere, and because I currently only have her and my daughter on Fridays, we go out on field trips. Due to her behavior issues, the problems with constantly changing her, and her banshee wail, I have thought of terming her. The only thing is, if I term her, I only have my daughter after December.

I am working on my Early Achievers, and I need to have at least 3 kids 5 and under, also I am working on my CDA.

Any thoughts, suggestions? I am interviewing, but I currently have a spot to fill.

Part of me says... stop doing daycare... enjoy time with your daughter... or just watch one or two. If I watch just one or two, watching the little screamer wouldn't be so bad, as when it is just her and my daughter, it feels like NOT working in general. My daughter gets her hair chronically pulled by the girl though, and hit. Sometimes the girl will get her hands on a wooden hammer and take it to bang on a persons head.

All in all, the girl is a good eater, a good sleeper, and like I said, her parents are flexible, but on the other hand, they could afford a nanny.

Also, my 8 year old, with his sensory issues, tends to act up when parents come, or when he is overstimulated, so he has to go up to his room, and hang out there, until everyone leaves. I feel like it would be better off for him, if I could be more available to him.

I like that my four year old has someone to play with. I like the extra income. We have some awesome toys, and I feel like with the amount of investment I have put into it, I SHOULD keep working though.

With our income about 25% of my daycare money goes to taxes, plus the 15% or whatever it is, for FICA and Social Security, then there is the cost of upkeep....

Daycare around here is about 850 per child, plus I am in tier one of the food program.

[daycare]

well If I had the choice not to do daycare, honestly, for me I still would. I really do enjoy it. I can't say that I always have though.

Do you think that if you were able to curb the 16month old behavior you would enjoy it more? Is it that you have the wrong children that make you want to quit, or just wanting to strive towards something else?

[cheerfuldom]

I think that you already answered your own question. You would like to continue, just not with this particular toddler. You dont have to quit altogether. I would keep interviewing for kids that are a better fit. Since you have a four year old and would like to continue field trips, I would suggest you advertise for the 2 to 5 year old crowd and get some preschool curriculum going. It would almost be better at this point to lower your rates and get two kids coming and just term the toddler. It may be easier to trade two kids for one with as high maintenance as the toddler is being. If you have been advertising with no interest, I would revamp your ads and lower your rates. Tell us where and how you are advertising and perhaps we can give additional ideas. You can post pics of your space and perhaps there is something there that can be revamped and draw more attention to your ads.

Don't feel bad about sending your son away from the door during pickups. MANY of us do that, even with kids that have no special needs. Its normal for kids to freak out with the coming and going. There is nothing wrong with setting him up with some homework or computer time or something to keep him busy during pickup.

[dingledine]

I'll post pictures probably later. I have an interview in a few minutes, with a 19 mo old boy. Yes, moving to preschoolers might be best, especially as I have tendinitis in my elbows, from overworking them when I nursed/pumped for my premie. I have considered it.

I am a former homeschooler, so we have a pretty good preschool curriculum going. It is more difficult doing preschool stuff when I have toddlers around that want to eat all of the equipment. The other toddler I have although he is a light sleeper, he is leaving in December, and all he does is sit around all day, drooling on everything, but making no trouble. I don't need a kid to be easy, just not as difficult.

The parents have been great though, so I'd hate to term, so I'm just torn. I've been advertising on craigslist. I can't put a sign by my road, my house is on a dead end street, so although I have a sign in front of my house, it gets very little traffic. I'm in Seattle WA area. I tried running an ad in the paper, and not only did I get zero responses, I also spent a lot on it, so I stopped.

With craigslist, I only started advertising a lot again recently, as I was on vacation etc. Now I have a reminder on my phone to repost regularly. I've did one interview on Monday, and another one tonight.

[countrymom]

hang in there, the first couple years are so hard. the longer I do it the better it gets. I can now spot all sorts of red flags.

oh, we all send our own child away when parents come, you should come and meet my 13 yrs old nosy rosy, she drives me bonkers, always wanting something in the kitchen when the parents come.

why is the child pooping so much, too much fiber or fruit or are the parents giving her laxatives and not telling you (search the threads, we had a discussion about this about a month ago)

[dingledine]

hang in there, the first couple years are so hard. the longer I do it the better it gets. I can now spot all sorts of red flags.

oh, we all send our own child away when parents come, you should come and meet my 13 yrs old nosy rosy, she drives me bonkers, always wanting something in the kitchen when the parents come.

why is the child pooping so much, too much fiber or fruit or are the parents giving her laxatives and not telling you (search the threads, we had a discussion about this about a month ago)

I just think she poops a lot. My 19 year old did that too for no reason, maybe a dairy insensitivity. Not only that, she is sensitive to her own poop and develops a rash from it FAST... a bleeding rash.

I'm glad at least that my four year old daughter is a dream. She LOVES the other kids, the babies, and even the hitter/screamer/biter/pooper girl. I like when it is just her, my daughter and me.

I think I know what I need to do. Keep her, give her a few months, get through my early achievers, advertise my spots that open, and if I get good people to fill it, and she hasn't fixed the hitting/biting, let her go in a couple of months. The screaming/pooping I can handle, the other is more difficult when it is combined with the first issues. I'd feel differently if her parents and I weren't on the same team, and they don't tolerate that sort of behavior either.