Send Child Home For Continually Assaulting Another Child?

[Heidi]

The "victim" needs to be given the words to deal with this himself as well.

First question when tattler comes over is "Did you talk to HIM about it?"

When the babies are napping, have a little pow-wow with the older 2. Help them learn the words "Stop! I don't like that". Put it back on them to solve the problem, with your support and encouragement.

Now, obviously if one is on top of the other pounding away, you need to stop them. It doesn't sound like anyone is really being hurt, though. It sounds like maybe the "aggressor" did hurt the other one a little once or twice, and then the "victim" got attention for it, and now you have a new dynamic.

I put aggressor and victim in quotes because I am hesitant to use labels, but since we don't have names here, I did for clarification.

[Blackcat31]

Sorry you are dealing with this.... I know what you mean about the one getting hit being a bit sensitive... I have a little DCK like that too. Someone will squeeze by and that automatically warrants a tattling about how someone pushed...

Sometimes it's for attention and other times, it is simply an overload of being schooled on how to speak up or tell when you feel others hurt you..kwim?

Either way, I would most definitely separate the two as much as possible... make sure you let BOTH mom's know what's going on.

Both Leigh and Heidi gave some great advice! Hang in there!

[Heidi]

I had a girl years ago who was a little, doe-eyed doll. I also had a big, burly girl a month or two older. They were both about 18 months.

There was constant "ehhhhhh" whenever the bigger girl got too close to the little one. She'd claim (no speech yet, but she'd cry and look accusing) that brute was picking on her poor little self.

I decided to take a step back and just observe what was going on. I realized very quickly that the "little doll" was actually the instigator. She would purposely go to the bigger child's space and body check her FIRST. Then, the bigger girl would retaliate.

After this, I gave them a little room to work it out, and when the little one would give me that doe-eyed "she hurt me", I'd tell her "Tell her you don't like it then", and keep my tone benign.

Guess what? A week later, it all magically stopped. No one was getting attention for it.

OBVIOUSLY, we can't let anyone really hurt other children. But, I think sometimes they do need to figure it out a little bit...with help.

Little doll left my program, but would visit periodically. She's the same child who taught HERSELF to read before her 3rd birthday.

[Play Care]

I still stand by what I said- very well may be victim is lying. If they are always in your site line you will know. I would find it odd for a kid to go from no issues to frequent aggression. Maybe a little of both?
Good luck

Heidi had some awesome ideas, but if the OP isn't supervising the children in her care, she won't know what she should be implementing. I have a very smart 3 yo DCG in my care, and she has told her Dad at pick up that another child pushed her or hit her. Because I supervise the kids very closely, I knew that didn't happen and was able to reassure Dad. Because we know DCG "embellishes" we are working with her on this. You need to be able to see what's going on to effectively come up with solutions.

[Maria2013]

I get that infants can be demanding, but essentially what you are saying is that you can't adequately care for *all* the children in your care.

[JoseyJo]

As a short term measure I would sit both them at the table with a quiet individual activity saying nothing or "it sounds like you two really want to play by yourselves right now"

As a long term measure I would keep both in my sight at all times unless there is actual harm to the "victim" I would help them work through it themselves, using words, going somewhere else if they don't want to be near the other, etc.

[My3cents]

Why would you let that go on for 90 minutes.?

Is this even a real question or a troll?

was wondering the same thing-

[Michael]

I am not a troll. The assaults are very mild.

Sorry for not being more clear on the severity. I just quickly typed the original post to get opinions while I had a minute.

You used the word "assault". That conjures up different images.

[Willow]

You used the word "assault". That conjures up different images.

It sure did for me!!!

[countrymom]

It sure did for me!!!

me too, because I know that at that age kids can really hit.