I Feel Like A Jerk....But I Think I Shouldn't

[Familycare71]

All I can say wow!! I have a hearing loss since birth.. You do not need to get a doctor note about the child's hearing loss. Also you dont need to give her special need form because hearing loss is NOT special needs! I don't blame her mother who feels offended and didn't tell you about her hearing loss at the interview. What she means that she feels offended because you act like there is something wrong with her child that is what she thinks. About the naps, I can understand that it was hard for her. It was pretty normal behavior for that deaf child but I am not sure if you know sign language. In my experience, I do see there is a lot of different behaviors between hearing and deaf children because I have a deaf child, a hearing child and a possibly hearing or hard of hearing baby but he has fluid in both the ears and will go back to the doctor soon to see if it has resolved or not. I can see there is totally different behaviors. Do you know sign language so you can use communicate with your dcg? I wouldn't recommended to have a meeting about the actual diagnosis. That is not right thing to do but you can talk about wanting to work with her behavior or nap issues, that is it. That is why your dcg's parents feel offended for some reason and she wants to pull her child because you said the word "actual diagnosis." If you feel you can't do anything for her then give her a two weeks notice and move on. Just saying...

I believe hearing loss is a special need. As you said yourself there are things you need to do for hearing impaired children. In my state I would need a special needs form filled out regarding communication in general, safety accommodations (when that 18 month old is walking towards the rd I can't say: xxx stop! Like I do for my other ones), and any medical intervention that may be relevant (hearing aids, implants, etc) plus any therapy that may be used- speech for one...
She isn't saying the child cannot be a fully functioning well adjusted child but there are def additional steps to get her there-

[cheerfuldom]

it is really hard for parents of special needs kids. the transition to accepting what is happening and dealing with it appropriately is not an easy one. i am not at all surprised this is happening to you OP. I would interview for a replacement and then term. you already know that they are leaving at some point but if you can put up with the drama, keep them till you have a start date for the next child.

[MCC]

I believe hearing loss is a special need. As you said yourself there are things you need to do for hearing impaired children. In my state I would need a special needs form filled out regarding communication in general, safety accommodations (when that 18 month old is walking towards the rd I can't say: xxx stop! Like I do for my other ones), and any medical intervention that may be relevant (hearing aids, implants, etc) plus any therapy that may be used- speech for one...
She isn't saying the child cannot be a fully functioning well adjusted child but there are def additional steps to get her there-

Wowza. The child is not deaf. She has hearing loss that happened from a traumatic birth. According to my states licensing, I do need a form for a child with hearing loss. I also need to have the full diagnosis, as I need to decide if I am equipped to handle/help/encourage growth with this child. It should have been brought up in the interview, period.

I do know sign language, and I do understand deaf culture, I studied it extensively in college, and have several deaf friends. I understand that being deaf is not a disability. I never used the word disability with the parents. I did however say that I wasn't sure I was the right provider for DCG.

I do not know anything about deaf babies and napping, but I do know that this child is cranky/angry/crying most of the afternoon, b/c she isn't getting enough rest. I also do not know any day care providers that would allow a 18 month old to skip nap, but since she is SCREAMING during nap, that is really our only option.

Andplusalso- The kid has been prescribed hearing aids, the parents are not giving them to her- if she isn't going to being given the option to hear, she should learn sign here, and at home. Mom and Dad have no interests in teaching/learning sing, so this child is not being given the gift of communication.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Hearing impaired is not a big deal. No special accommodations needed. As a hh person myself, the only special need I have is "tap me on the shoulder if I appear to have not heard you." Speak to the child when she is facing you, make eye contact, learn and use basic.signs. It's pretty simple. Yes, parents of hh children tend to get offended if you imply (or parents perceive you are implying) that something is "wrong" with their child.

Sounds like the heading impairment is not the main issue,.it's lack of nap,.am I right? Napping and hearing impairment should have nothing to do with each other. If the.child.can't function as part of your group, you should term. But I would leave hearing impairment out of the conversation.

Kids learn sign quickly. But YOU have to be willing to learn it yourself. Every child in my program knows yes, no, help, hungry, thirsty, potty and more. Very very basic. Very very easy, it's really not that "special". For what it's worth, not all hearing impaired people use or want hearing aids. I choose to not to.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Doesn't make one bit of sense to be that the parents refuse hearing aids AND refuse to sign. Very odd. Most choose either, or both. Can't imagine a parent denying a child the gift of communication, on purpose. Super odd.
I have some hard core deaf culture friends, and none of them would advocate NO sign language. Many are anti-hearing aids though, and implants are super controversial among deaf culture advocates.

[MCC]

Doesn't make one bit of sense to be that the parents refuse hearing aids AND refuse to sign. Very odd. Most choose either, or both. Can't imagine a parent denying a child the gift of communication, on purpose. Super odd.
I have some hard core deaf culture friends, and none of them would advocate NO sign language. Many are anti-hearing aids though, and implants are super controversial among deaf culture advocates.

I am getting the impression that they don't want to have her wear the aids or teach sign b/c they are in a bit of denial about the situation. The child has no words, none. She doesn't say anything, though she will "hum" a tune, so I know she does hear music and pitch. If I say "fish" to her, she will say "sss" back- she needs therapy, her aids, sign language, something, probably a combination of all- I am not going to be the one to tell them that, but the child deserves to be able to communicate.

Yes- for me, the biggest issue is the nap, but the parent is mad/offended anyway, so the nap is a moot point.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

How crushing. Many hugs to you. Hopefully they get this child the help they need!

I have had a conference about a child's differences once (I knew the child was on the spectrum but did not outright say that as that would be inappropriate). It went very well. It doesn't always go poorly so don't give up hope in the future.

[MotherNature]

I would give YOUR notice - sorry but I don't want to work with parents that don't want ME.

[Cradle2crayons]

All I can say wow!! I have a hearing loss since birth.. You do not need to get a doctor note about the child's hearing loss. Also you dont need to give her special need form because hearing loss is NOT special needs! I don't blame her mother who feels offended and didn't tell you about her hearing loss at the interview. What she means that she feels offended because you act like there is something wrong with her child that is what she thinks. About the naps, I can understand that it was hard for her. It was pretty normal behavior for that deaf child but I am not sure if you know sign language. In my experience, I do see there is a lot of different behaviors between hearing and deaf children because I have a deaf child, a hearing child and a possibly hearing or hard of hearing baby but he has fluid in both the ears and will go back to the doctor soon to see if it has resolved or not. I can see there is totally different behaviors. Do you know sign language so you can use communicate with your dcg? I wouldn't recommended to have a meeting about the actual diagnosis. That is not right thing to do but you can talk about wanting to work with her behavior or nap issues, that is it. That is why your dcg's parents feel offended for some reason and she wants to pull her child because you said the word "actual diagnosis." If you feel you can't do anything for her then give her a two weeks notice and move on. Just saying...

Considering the child is prescribed hearing aids that the parents refuse to use, then YES, a dr note is a great idea.

Why not communicate issues with a parent?? Apparently lack of communication on the parents part at interview is what got them into all this mess.

[countrymom]

first I would be angry as a provider that the parents didn't let you know about the hearing loss.

second, to me it seems like the parents are in denial or they are just too stubborn. Why wouldn't they put hearing aids on the girl. But I also wonder at what degreee is her deafness. I wonder if she was to put tubes in her ears if that would work.

also, by the sounds of it, the parents are not doing anything to help the girl, which is sad.

now is it a disability, yes and no. At a young age I would say yes just because they need speech therapy, how to use hearing aids..

as for naps, put her down for a nap at your time. No more discussion, who cares what time you put her down or they want her down for as long as its a nap.

[MCC]

first I would be angry as a provider that the parents didn't let you know about the hearing loss.

second, to me it seems like the parents are in denial or they are just too stubborn. Why wouldn't they put hearing aids on the girl. But I also wonder at what degreee is her deafness. I wonder if she was to put tubes in her ears if that would work.

also, by the sounds of it, the parents are not doing anything to help the girl, which is sad.

now is it a disability, yes and no. At a young age I would say yes just because they need speech therapy, how to use hearing aids..

as for naps, put her down for a nap at your time. No more discussion, who cares what time you put her down or they want her down for as long as its a nap.

It is super sad that they are not doing anything about it. As far as the "disability" getting thrown around, I do not think she has a disability, I do think she should wear the aids she was prescribed.
I called licensing the day after I found out, and they said I do need the "child with special needs" form filled out. This form just states whether or not the Dr. thinks my ratios need to change based on the diagnosis. I don't think they will, but I am required to have the form on file, and signed by a Dr.

The naps, the real issue- If I put her down at 1 with the rest of the kids, she SCREAMS. The older kids will ignore it and lay still, but they can't fall asleep. The baby can not sleep, and starts to cry as well. I have tried to let her CIO, but she will cry for the entire 2 hour nap if I let her. I moved the nap to 2pm and she will sleep (for less than an hour, but at least it's something!)

Mom was SUPER stand offish last night at pick up, came in and said "Let's go DCG" that was it...

I sent DCG home at 12 today for suspected pink eye, I'm sure it's just going to make DCM ever more upset, but oh well.

[countrymom]

start looking to fill that spot.

[safechner]

Wowza. The child is not deaf. She has hearing loss that happened from a traumatic birth. According to my states licensing, I do need a form for a child with hearing loss. I also need to have the full diagnosis, as I need to decide if I am equipped to handle/help/encourage growth with this child. It should have been brought up in the interview, period.

I do know sign language, and I do understand deaf culture, I studied it extensively in college, and have several deaf friends. I understand that being deaf is not a disability. I never used the word disability with the parents. I did however say that I wasn't sure I was the right provider for DCG.

I do not know anything about deaf babies and napping, but I do know that this child is cranky/angry/crying most of the afternoon, b/c she isn't getting enough rest. I also do not know any day care providers that would allow a 18 month old to skip nap, but since she is SCREAMING during nap, that is really our only option.

Andplusalso- The kid has been prescribed hearing aids, the parents are not giving them to her- if she isn't going to being given the option to hear, she should learn sign here, and at home. Mom and Dad have no interests in teaching/learning sing, so this child is not being given the gift of communication.

Yes that child is deaf since you said she has no words unless she have some hearing loss (slightly or mild hearing loss or one profound deaf in one ear) that would be called hard of hearing! I dont think you understand the whole things about deaf culture. You are right that being deaf is not disability. Once again, deaf people are NOT special needs! I have been around deaf and hearing community. I grew up to be around deaf and hearing community and I know how they are. Also, I am deaf myself but I can speak very well. I went speech therapy to learn how to speak on my choice, not my parents when I was a child because I was very interested into it. My mother told me that I do have a few words before she found out I was deaf at 2 years old. I can hear a very little without wearing one of my hearing aid. Right now, I can't hear anymore because my hearing loss is keeping worse. I am now profoundly hearing loss in both the ears but I am still wearing one hearing aid on my left ear. I am still called to be deaf myself anyways. Once again, you wouldn't need a special needs form for that child unless she has physical limited.

As you mentioned that she can say "hum" but that is how deaf people use it. My hearing husband told me that he hears me to use "mmm" a tune. I tried not to make sounds when I eat or whatever I was doing. My daughter who is profoundly deaf always "hum" or "mmmm" tunes all the time when I hear her.

To Familycare71, really!! I am NOT special needs! Look at me, I been running a daycare for 12 years and I worked with hearing children. As of right now, I closed daycare for a while to being a stay home mom with my baby. Deaf people can do anything as hearing people do.

[Blackcat31]

Yes that child is deaf since you said she has no words unless she have some hearing loss (slightly or mild hearing loss or one profound deaf in one ear) that would be called hard of hearing! I dont think you understand the whole things about deaf culture. You are right that being deaf is not disability. Once again, deaf people are NOT special needs! I have been around deaf and hearing community. I grew up to be around deaf and hearing community and I know how they are. Also, I am deaf myself but I can speak very well. I went speech therapy to learn how to speak on my choice, not my parents when I was a child because I was very interested into it. My mother told me that I do have a few words before she found out I was deaf at 2 years old. I can hear a very little without wearing one of my hearing aid. Right now, I can't hear anymore because my hearing loss is keeping worse. I am now profoundly hearing loss in both the ears but I am still wearing one hearing aid on my left ear. I am still called to be deaf myself anyways. Once again, you wouldn't need a special needs form for that child unless she has physical limited.

As you mentioned that she can say "hum" but that is how deaf people use it. My hearing husband told me that he hears me to use "mmm" a tune. I tried not to make sounds when I eat or whatever I was doing. My daughter who is profoundly deaf always "hum" or "mmmm" tunes all the time when I hear her.

To Familycare71, really!! I am NOT special needs! Look at me, I been running a daycare for 12 years and I worked with hearing children. As of right now, I closed daycare for a while to being a stay home mom with my baby. Deaf people can do anything as hearing people do.

fwiw~ I don't think OP is saying SHE thinks DCG is "special needs"

....I think she is just saying that her state requires she has a form filled out that is titled "special needs"...OP didn't write the rules or the form.

I also don't think OP is asking for anything "special" from the family...other than to provide the hearing aides that the doctor prescribed for her.

If the parents informed the provider that the child is prescribed hearing aides, then I think the provider has every right to require that the child have them while in her home/care.

[safechner]

Considering the child is prescribed hearing aids that the parents refuse to use, then YES, a dr note is a great idea.

Why not communicate issues with a parent?? Apparently lack of communication on the parents part at interview is what got them into all this mess.

Really!!! That is not true! My daughter don't wear hearing aids because she HATES it! I am not going force her to wear it. She is very happy child and she loves her life! The form is NOT necessary! If someone give me like this and I would be very mad!

Just give parent some time and she will need to learn to accept her child being deaf and she probably will learn sign language to communicate with her child. As far as I know there are so many hearing parents with deaf children and they are too lazy or refused to learn sign language. Deaf children will hate their parents when they get older. Some parents dont want to tell someone about their children who has hearing loss because they dont want them to feel sorry for them. That is probably why parent dont want to tell her in the first place. Truth is, there are so many hearing people feel sorry for deaf people because they think they cant do anything which is not true. I dont care what others think about me. I dont give a **** about them. I have a wonderful life with my family. My hearing family love me when they get know me when I used to take care of their children for 12 years.