Angry (Long, Sorry)

[Shell]

So, I mentioned the other day that one of my favorite dcg's and baby are leaving in a month due to scheduling conflicts. Dcm was a mess- crying, saying how sorry she was, saying it isn't personal, she thinks the world of me, etc. She said it really just came down to scheduling.

As a side note , I have been giving this family a substantial discount for 2 years now since dcm gave me a sob story about student debt, have allowed for a rotating schedule for years, never charged them for vacations, and never charged to hold a spot for maternity leave (stupid, I know). I am also really good friends with the family (another mistake).

Well, as it so happens, one of my pt dcm's just emailed me saying they won't need Fridays anymore, and are switching days. This now frees up Friday for dcg and baby I mentioned above.

I called dcm to tell her that I now have room, all excited that I solved the problem for them! Dcm starts stuttering, making up all kinds of excuses, and saying that she wouldn't want me to save a spot when another family could come along, etc. So, I get the point that there must be more going on here than what she told me.

Dcm said the new center can take her kids one week from now, but she will keep her kids here a month as a courtesy. Honestly, I know I shouldn't take this personally, but I am now a little upset that she told me it was about scheduling, and it really isn't. So, I really just want to send them on their way now, and not wait the month. Wwyd?

[Cradle2crayons]

So, I mentioned the other day that one of my favorite dcg's and baby are leaving in a month due to scheduling conflicts. Dcm was a mess- crying, saying how sorry she was, saying it isn't personal, she thinks the world of me, etc. She said it really just came down to scheduling.

As a side note , I have been giving this family a substantial discount for 2 years now since dcm gave me a sob story about student debt, have allowed for a rotating schedule for years, never charged them for vacations, and never charged to hold a spot for maternity leave (stupid, I know). I am also really good friends with the family (another mistake).

Well, as it so happens, one of my pt dcm's just emailed me saying they won't need Fridays anymore, and are switching days. This now frees up Friday for dcg and baby I mentioned above.

I called dcm to tell her that I now have room, all excited that I solved the problem for them! Dcm starts stuttering, making up all kinds of excuses, and saying that she wouldn't want me to save a spot when another family could come along, etc. So, I get the point that there must be more going on here than what she told me.

Dcm said the new center can take her kids one week from now, but she will keep her kids here a month as a courtesy. Honestly, I know I shouldn't take this personally, but I am now a little upset that she told me it was about scheduling, and it really isn't. So, I really just want to send them on their way now, and not wait the month. Wwyd?

This depends for me.

I have a waiting list so if it were me, I'd give her two weeks notice and leave it at that. I'd have Anne framing ready to start e day after their last day. Is business and tell her it's related to scheduling

[Maria2013]

I am now a little upset that she told me it was about scheduling, and it really isn't. So, I really just want to send them on their way now, and not wait the month. Wwyd?

I would be honest with her and say I feel she is not telling me the real reason she decided to leave and based on her answer I would decide whether to keep for the rest of the month or quit right away

[MyAngels]

If she's already enrolled them somewhere else it's entirely possible that she's already given a deposit and signed a contract, which obligates her financially to them. That's probably at least part of the reason she can't just back pedal and stay with you now. It sounds like a matter of bad timing to me.

That said, I'd probably go ahead and fill her spot before the month is up if you can and let her move on sooner rather than later.

[blandino]

I would tell her that by her actions you can see that she isn't moving daycares due solely to scheduling conflicts. And that if she is not comfortable with the care you are providing, you really are not comfortable having her children in care.

My thought would be that someone who isn't happy with the care I am providing, would be a sort of lliability to have around.

[Shell]

If she's already enrolled them somewhere else it's entirely possible that she's already given a deposit and signed a contract, which obligates her financially to them. That's probably at least part of the reason she can't just back pedal and stay with you now. It sounds like a matter of bad timing to me.

The strange thing is, she hasn't enrolled yet, but the center knows the family from the older dd going there in the past. So, they have guaranteed her a spot, but she admitted she doesn't know how much it's going to cost yet :confused:

[Blackcat31]

Maybe since she is a friend, she would rather just not be in the situation of being a client and feels it is just over all best to be in the center. She may be aware of the "exceptions" you have already given her and feels uncomfortable about it...

Nothing against you and no other reason other than the reasons we (as providers) say not to mix business with friends/family....kwim?

She may be thinking ahead and not wanting to continue being in a situation that "could" turn negative and thus end with your family and hers no longer being friends/friendly.

There really isn't way to say that nicely without you taking or feeling it's personal iykwim?

Just a different perspective.


If it still doesn't sit well with you, your only option is to go straight to the source and just have an open, honest conversation with her about the whole thing.

[Shell]

I would tell her that by her actions you can see that she isn't moving daycares due solely to scheduling conflicts. And that if she is not comfortable with the care you are providing, you really are not comfortable having her children in care.

My thought would be that someone who isn't happy with the care I am providing, would be a sort of lliability to have around.

[Shell]

Maybe since she is a friend, she would rather just not be in the situation of being a client and feels it is just over all best to be in the center. She may be aware of the "exceptions" you have already given her and feels uncomfortable about it...

Nothing against you and no other reason other than the reasons we (as providers) say not to mix business with friends/family....kwim?

She may be thinking ahead and not wanting to continue being in a situation that "could" turn negative and thus end with your family and hers no longer being friends/friendly.

There really isn't way to say that nicely without you taking or feeling it's personal iykwim?

Just a different perspective.


If it still doesn't sit well with you, your only option is to go straight to the source and just have an open, honest conversation with her about the whole thing.

This could be what is going on- I'm open to suggestions since I am really confused! Btw, I can't figure out how to multi-quote or I would have posted this with the other quote above.

[Shell]

This depends for me.

I have a waiting list so if it were me, I'd give her two weeks notice and leave it at that. I'd have Anne framing ready to start e day after their last day. Is business and tell her it's related to scheduling

:: Would love to tell her that!

[Blackcat31]

This could be what is going on- I'm open to suggestions since I am really confused! Btw, I can't figure out how to multi-quote or I would have posted this with the other quote above.

If you want to post replies to multiple posts you can select them by clicking the multi quote button . This button will change to indicate that you've selected it. Clicking post reply will then bring you to the full editor with all the posts quoted.

So if you are quoting me and another poster, you would click the button in my post (and all other posts you want to include in your reply) and when you are all done quoting, hit the regular "QUOTE" button for the LAST person you are quoting.

ALL the posts you quote will appear in your reply. Hope that helps....

Go ahead and try it out in this thread if you want....

Let me know if you have any questions or trouble figuring it all out.

[daycaremum]

If she's already enrolled them somewhere else it's entirely possible that she's already given a deposit and signed a contract, which obligates her financially to them. That's probably at least part of the reason she can't just back pedal and stay with you now. It sounds like a matter of bad timing to me.

That said, I'd probably go ahead and fill her spot before the month is up if you can and let her move on sooner rather than later.

This is exactly what I was thinking. If she's already enrolled, did the paper work and paid a deposit somewhere else, it won't really matter if the extra day just came free with you. I also think it is likely a matter of bad timing.

Okay so I just read your post saying you don't think she's enrolled yet. BUT, you did say they have guaranteed her a spot, so perhaps she still feels as though she is obligated to go to the center. To be honest, maybe she has began to like the idea of a center and just wants to continue on with her original plan?
I would just let it go. People leave for all sorts of reasons, I know it's hard but you just have to move on. Try not to take it personally. It really doesn't matter why she is leaving, she is regardless. She is obviously trying to make it an amicable ending, so I would just let her do just that and end it on friendly terms. Confronting her over something that doesn't really matter in the end will only make you both uncomfortable.

[Cradle2crayons]

:: Would love to tell her that!

Then tell her you could always sound official "due to scheduling conflicts, this is your two weeks notice"

If you want to post replies to multiple posts you can select them by clicking the multi quote button . This button will change to indicate that you've selected it. Clicking post reply will then bring you to the full editor with all the posts quoted.

So if you are quoting me and another poster, you would click the button in my post (and all other posts you want to include in your reply) and when you are all done quoting, hit the regular "QUOTE" button for the LAST person you are quoting.

ALL the posts you quote will appear in your reply. Hope that helps....

Go ahead and try it out in this thread if you want....

Let me know if you have any questions or trouble figuring it all out.

Learn something new every day! I didn't know how to do that

[Shell]

If you want to post replies to multiple posts you can select them by clicking the multi quote button . This button will change to indicate that you've selected it. Clicking post reply will then bring you to the full editor with all the posts quoted.

So if you are quoting me and another poster, you would click the button in my post (and all other posts you want to include in your reply) and when you are all done quoting, hit the regular "QUOTE" button for the LAST person you are quoting.

ALL the posts you quote will appear in your reply. Hope that helps....

Go ahead and try it out in this thread if you want....

Let me know if you have any questions or trouble figuring it all out.

:: Would love to tell her that!

[Maria2013]

If you want to post replies to multiple posts you can select them by clicking the multi quote button
Go ahead and try it out in this thread if you want....

Thank you for explaining this so good

Learn something new every day! I didn't know how to do that

me too, I took advantage of the lesson she was giving you ::