New Mom Wants To Nurse At My House?

[Leanna]

I have a mom who comes during her lunch hour to nurse (my third mom who does this) and it is no problem. At first she was more comfortable going in the playroom but now she just sits in the living room. She and one other mom occasionally nurse at pick-up time and it is not really a problem at all. The kids are used to seeing them and either just carry on or ask them a zillion questions ("Jayla's mommy? Did you drive your green car today? "Jayla's mommy? I have a boo boo!"
If she is the last client of the day, just do what you do and say good-bye when she is leaving!

[Scout]

Being a mom who nursed and had to pump 4x a day for 2 bottles while I worked I would. I know the struggles it can create bfing and being away for so long so I wouldn't mind a quick session as long as she was gone by closing time as well.

[hgonzalez]

I can see both sides of this and appreciate everyone's input.

Her pick up time is earlier than the other's and it is right in the middle of potty times, diapers and snack time and then we typically end our day outside, so it would be during that time also. It is extremely busy at that time and I have a special needs child that tends to act up terribly right around then. I do not have a separate space for her to nurse, I am a small home daycare, not a center.

My daycare kids already act up when parents other than their own pickup, when the food program rep comes etc. I cannot imagine adding another adult into this arena for 15-20 mins.

Also, she lives 10 minutes away, so I honestly don't see why she would need to immediately feed the baby when she arrives. I worry that the little one is going to resist being bottle fed at daycare if he realizes mom is coming with the better goods.

To me, it feels like they want me to put everyone else's needs on hold to accommodate this. What if we are playing outside at the time, then she is going to come inside and nurse while my own older children are home? It just seems like a bit much to ask considering my set up here...

[melilley]

I had a dcm who would come and nurse at pick up. At first it didn't bother me as I am all for it, but after a while it kind of did, only because she only lived 15 minutes away, tops, and the thing that got me was that many times I had fed her child a bottle 2 minutes before she got here, and he would eat it all and when she arrived, I would tell her and as soon as the child would slightly touch or grab her shirt in her breast area, she would say "oh, L. You are hungry, let's eat"! He always grabs me there too, it's an instinct. She would then sit down (this is always the last child picked up by the time she was done) and nurse for the two seconds he would and would say things like "L. I know you're hungry, why aren't you eating"). I think it made her feel better that her child "wanted" her when she came to pick up, which is fine, but when the child rarely ate because he JUST ate here and she only lived a short distance away, it was a little much. Plus she had to sit in the playroom where everyone picks up because there isn't a private area for her to go.

That's my experience. I would never tell a mom that she couldn't do it, but when they live 10-15 minutes away, I think it's a little ridiculous that they wouldn't want to do it at home with their baby and have that bonding time alone.

[Angelsj]

I would have no problem with this at all, but I run my operation a bit differently than most.
However, what *I* do is not the point. You don't need her permission nor ours to run your business in a way that works for you. If you cannot accommodate that, just tell her it will not work. She will have to find another option that works for her, but this is not it.

[Hunni Bee]

I can see both sides of this and appreciate everyone's input.

Her pick up time is earlier than the other's and it is right in the middle of potty times, diapers and snack time and then we typically end our day outside, so it would be during that time also. It is extremely busy at that time and I have a special needs child that tends to act up terribly right around then. I do not have a separate space for her to nurse, I am a small home daycare, not a center.

My daycare kids already act up when parents other than their own pickup, when the food program rep comes etc. I cannot imagine adding another adult into this arena for 15-20 mins.

Also, she lives 10 minutes away, so I honestly don't see why she would need to immediately feed the baby when she arrives. I worry that the little one is going to resist being bottle fed at daycare if he realizes mom is coming with the better goods.

To me, it feels like they want me to put everyone else's needs on hold to accommodate this. What if we are playing outside at the time, then she is going to come inside and nurse while my own older children are home? It just seems like a bit much to ask considering my set up here...

Based on the above, I'd say no. It shouldn't turn your routine upside down.

The problem is, when you say no to things like that...people tend to take it as you saying no to breastfeeding. I would just tell her that while you appreciate what she wants to do, you just can't accommodate it.

I'm also curious as to why she'd rather nurse in someone else's home with a bunch of kids running around and possibly other parents coming in and out, than wait ten minutes and do it in the calmness of her own home.

[LoraJenkins]

I would probably allow it as long as she's still out the door by closing time. If it were to become a problem then I would have a talk with her to see if something else could be done.

[Starburst]

I wouldn't go for that. Coming by in the daytime to nurse, I might allow (depending on the time), but at pickup time, I would absolutely say no. I'd offer to TRY to time the baby's bottles so that the baby would be ready to nurse when they got home.

If it was during the day that would be different; but since she will be leaving at that time anyway, why does she need to stay in your house even longer? If she came in during her lunch break 1/2 way through the day that is one thing, but not if she is picking up and they live close by.

Plus, if the other parents see her there they my decide to stay longer as well (to talk to her or you or just 'hang out'). I would just tell her "I try to encourage short arrival/departure times to help the children with transitional constancy." I know this child is an infant but they need consistency too. Like Pavlov's dogs, the minute his mom arrives (or around that time of day) he will want to nurse immediately and will be thrown off if it changes because you change your minds later or even if the mom is running late (which will make it more difficult on the baby and her to try a new routine), better to nip it in the bud now.

Also if you have a small drive way, limited parking space, and other parents that come around that time (even if you don't) you can tell her that it wouldn't be fair to the other parents who may need to park in the drive way.

[Crazy8]

no way. She can put baby right in the car and be home in 10 minutes? there is no need to do their "reconnecting" at my house. My daycare is one room of my house and there is no way I would allow a mom to come in at one of my busiest times (coming from outside, potty, getting snacks, etc.) and plop down to nurse. I would try to have had baby fed within an hour of pick up but I don't see any reason for them to have that moment at my home when they can be in the comfort of their own home in 10 minutes.

[lovemykidstoo]

I have a new baby starting in one month. The Mom emailed me and wants to know if she can nurse her at my house at pickup everyday.

I see it as being a disaster, as my other kids are going to be really worked up and will act up and it is a super busy time for me. I just can't see it working.

I also worry that the baby will associate pickup time with nursing and we are going to create a big mess with that which will difficult to undo.

Have any of you had this request before? How do you handle it?

How is the baby fed during the rest of the day with you? I had 1 mom ask me if she could breastfeed her daughter at pickup. It caught me off guard because we didnt' talk about it before and she wanted to do it right then and there. I said ok. Then the next day the dcg who was over a year at the time started wimpering and the mom said, oh I know what you want. She asked again to go breastfeed. She was there past my closing time. The dcg had just had a bottle, so I knew that she most likely wasn't hungry just wanted mom. She lived 10 minutes away so I put my foot down and said that that wouldn't work. I know that some think that this is a special thing I think just because it's breastfeeding. What if a mom came and wanted to give a formula bottle or an older child crackers and milk at pickup, would we accommodate that? If the baby is fed with a bottle the rest of the day then why can't you just top the baby off close to pickup?

[TwinKristi]

I would try and work out a feeding schedule that would allow her to nurse upon arriving at home rather than at your home. I am all for nursing and if it was drop off with a young baby to ease their transition I would and have accommodated that but pickup time is so hard to manage. BUT I would look into the laws about this before just saying "no". And is this a deal breaker for her? I know as a nursing mom sometimes after being away from baby all day you NEED to nurse. Experiencing let down with your baby right there and your body wanting to feed is hard, especially for a new mom. But living 10 min away I don't think its necessary and proper scheduling can help that. Giving baby a bottle 30-60 min before pickup helps hold them over but keep them hungry enough to nurse when they get home.
Good luck!

[Meeko]

What if a mom came and wanted to give a formula bottle or an older child crackers and milk at pickup, would we accommodate that?

Exactly. Both mom and baby can wait 10 minutes.

[momofboys]

I am pro BF - I BF all 3 of my kids. However, when a parent comes to pick up a child it is my expectation that they are out the door within 1-2 min. I don't think the parents I provide care for now could manage to arrive early enough to meet my closing time to allow for extra time to BF. To me it isn't about being pro or anti BF. It is about respecting our time - when parents arrive for pick-up I expect them to leave, simple as that! I only have 2 DCK & both parents arrive about 5 min prior to their pick up time, there is no way I would let them sit around for an extra 10-15 min to nurse past closing. It would be one thing if the parent was arriving 30 min early to allow for that time but I still don't know if I would allow it.

[misslori50]

I would allow it if she got there before you close.