Child In Street; Running Off

[daycarediva]

I have a 3 yr old here on the Autism Spectrum. He is a handful, but pretty responsive to my guidance for the most part. He has done several things the last 2 weeks that have been upsetting.

First, I had the kids outside and he was being unsafe by ramming a trike into another child. I told him he had to stay off the trike and he said 'no' and took off running in the empty field next to our house. He was laughing when I told him to come back to the yard and he kept going. I had 5 other kids outside at the time, so I had to quickly get them into a safe situation and then go and retrieve him. I couldn't get to him and I ended up twisting my ankle. I stopped pursuing him and went back to my property and kept an eye on him and he came back. My back up plan was to call a neighbor to run over and get him if he didn't come back, but he did.
The incident really frightened me, though, as I cannot allow that kind of behavior to affect my caring for the other kids here. I talked to the parents and they admitted it happens to them all the time.

At pick up time, he runs out into the street as soon as he sees his Mom. He runs around and around their vehicle which is parked in the street. She tells him to stop about 20 times but never does anything about it. I keep telling her that I cannot allow that kind of behavior. Yesterday, he bolted out my door without her, and she again did nothing about it for a few minutes. I have made it clear to parents that children cannot be outside without an adult- EVER! Well, he ran around in the street and almost got hit by a car while his Mom was putting his sister in the car. The Mom tried to get him to behave my starting up the car and pretending to drive away, while he was standing in the street!

A neighbor called and complained as the person that almost hit him was going to their house. They were nice about it, but also a bit shaken up.

I cannot afford to term this family and I am attached to the children and truly think I can help this child. So this morning, I wrote up a new pickup policy and procedure for his family which includes him either being carried or his hand being held and going right into the car seat (no running around). I prepared it and handed it to the Dad this morning at drop off and asked that both parents read it and sign it as a new policy. I have heard nothing from either parent as of yet today.

I do not have this problem with ANY of the other children here. When they violate a safety rule, I react quickly and firmly as do their parents. While I realize this child has special needs, I think that there are times when safety cannot be compromised and a parent has to take full control...and this situation is one of them.

Have any of you had similar issues with a child in your care?

My child is on the spectrum AND a runner. This child is NOT SAFE in your program as it currently is. You have two options, get a fence in your yard IMMEDIATELY, and only allow a parent to remove him from your home if they are holding his hand OR term immediately. No other options that will be successful long term. It can take months, years or NEVER happen for an ASD runner to stop running. Imho- you got lucky that you were able to get him this time.

[daycarediva]

just because he is on the spectrum does not give him the right to behave like this or his mother. I treat all the kids the same. I expect the parents to behave the same too.

my concern is that while you are chasing this child and dealing with him, what are the other kids doing. Are the other kids copying his behavior. Its sad but if you can't get a handle of the situation, you may end up not only losing him but the other kids too.

Actually children on the spectrum typically DONT behave that way because they are defiant, they truly don't understand and/or do not have the self control to regulate their behavior. I was told by a leading developmental specialist that in runners, they have an out of sync fight or flight response and will run for any number of reasons/triggers.

His sister is definitely copying his behavior. The other kids try it, but then are able and willing to follow safety rules as are their parents.

This boy also refuses to get ready to get on the special ed preschool bus. I have a split level home and have to force him (by carrying him) to go down to the entryway to get ready with him shouting at me the whole time. He is 3 1/2 and it is quite the work out.

Then I have to force his shoes on and jacket also. He does readily go once the bus arrives, but it is super stressful.

The family did not return the policy sheet (with signatures) this morning....not a good sign.

I really think you are ill equipped to care for him as is. If his parents aren't on board, you HAVE to term, immediately, for his safety.

Did you report this incident to licensing? If something like this happened in my program I would be required to report it, and fill out a form on how I was going to prevent any future incidents.

Does his preschool have before/after care?

[itlw8]

dgs was a runner you had to have a very firm hold on him at all times. one day we were out and he started to run and I yelled SIT just like I do with the dog. He stopped and sat. I told his dad and he also used it in an emergency. now at 4 he will stop and look and slowly sit. It is not as effective now but he does not run anymore either.

people think we are weird but hey it worked.

[DaisyMamma]

I have a 3 yr old here on the Autism Spectrum. He is a handful, but pretty responsive to my guidance for the most part. He has done several things the last 2 weeks that have been upsetting.

First, I had the kids outside and he was being unsafe by ramming a trike into another child. I told him he had to stay off the trike and he said 'no' and took off running in the empty field next to our house. He was laughing when I told him to come back to the yard and he kept going. I had 5 other kids outside at the time, so I had to quickly get them into a safe situation and then go and retrieve him. I couldn't get to him and I ended up twisting my ankle. I stopped pursuing him and went back to my property and kept an eye on him and he came back. My back up plan was to call a neighbor to run over and get him if he didn't come back, but he did.
The incident really frightened me, though, as I cannot allow that kind of behavior to affect my caring for the other kids here. I talked to the parents and they admitted it happens to them all the time.

At pick up time, he runs out into the street as soon as he sees his Mom. He runs around and around their vehicle which is parked in the street. She tells him to stop about 20 times but never does anything about it. I keep telling her that I cannot allow that kind of behavior. Yesterday, he bolted out my door without her, and she again did nothing about it for a few minutes. I have made it clear to parents that children cannot be outside without an adult- EVER! Well, he ran around in the street and almost got hit by a car while his Mom was putting his sister in the car. The Mom tried to get him to behave my starting up the car and pretending to drive away, while he was standing in the street!

A neighbor called and complained as the person that almost hit him was going to their house. They were nice about it, but also a bit shaken up.

I cannot afford to term this family and I am attached to the children and truly think I can help this child. So this morning, I wrote up a new pickup policy and procedure for his family which includes him either being carried or his hand being held and going right into the car seat (no running around). I prepared it and handed it to the Dad this morning at drop off and asked that both parents read it and sign it as a new policy. I have heard nothing from either parent as of yet today.

I do not have this problem with ANY of the other children here. When they violate a safety rule, I react quickly and firmly as do their parents. While I realize this child has special needs, I think that there are times when safety cannot be compromised and a parent has to take full control...and this situation is one of them.

Have any of you had similar issues with a child in your care?

I didn't read other replies.
You're going to have to fence in your play area
. Then have a talk with mom about holding his hand to go to the car, or even carrying him if possible.
With that said, its likely there will only be other issues down the road. You will need some support and education on his condition to have things run smoothly. I had an austic child once. I had no idea what I was doing. The parents didn't offer support. By the time I sought help i was already burned out. It didn't work out.