What Is Your Policy On A Repeat Biter?

[childcaremom]

Hi all,

I am new-ish to the forum, lurked for a while, but now have a situation that I am unsure of how to handle.

I am wondering how to handle a repeat biter. I have a newly turned 2 year old who is VERY verbal. She is quite capable of telling the other children that it is her turn, to let go, etc, etc.

Two months ago, she bit another child. The only reason I could see at the time was that she and the other dck were both trying to see through the gate and dck was in her way. I informed both of the parents, told the biter dcm that I would be shadowing her for the next 2 weeks and then would see how she did. Told the bitee's dcps my plan of action. Bitee's dcps were upset but understanding... biter's dcm was a little jokey about the whole thing. Dcg seemed much better after her shadow period.

Now over the past few weeks, I have noticed an increase in the aggression that this same dcg is displaying. I have chatted with dcm a few times about how hands-on she is (hitting, pushing, grabbing). I have told dcm that I am addressing these behaviours immediately, as they happen, and am hoping to see an improvement. As a group, we have been focussing on using our words, gentle hands, etc and I was starting to see an improvement.

Now fast forward to today: dcg bit dcb on the cheek. Without any warning. The only trigger is that she is tired. I am going to tell the bitee's dcp shortly, and want to let biter's mom know as well but am wondering what action should be taken.

I am leaning towards telling the dcm that while I understand the frustration that toddlers and young preschoolers experience, biting is unacceptable within my daycare setting. My action plan would be that I plan to shadow her and limit her group interactions over the next month, while working on building her social skills and gradually increasing the amount of time she is in close contact with the kids, but that if it happens again:.....

This is where I am lost. How do/would you handle this? 3 strikes your out? What seems reasonable? Probation period? Term immediately effective today? Term if it happens again?

I want to be reasonable but really don't want to have to follow dcg around indef. to make sure that she doesn't bite again. That's not fair to her and not fair to my group. And I don't want to lose dcks that DON"T bite.

TIA for your help!

[preschoolteacher]

Hi all,
My action plan would be that I plan to shadow her and limit her group interactions over the next month, while working on building her social skills and gradually increasing the amount of time she is in close contact with the kids, but that if it happens again:.....

^^^ This. But I'd give it two weeks max, not a month. A month is a long time for you to be giving this amount of one-on-one attention.

The parents need to have a plan of how they are working on things at home.

I have a very verbal 2 year old who was pushing/hitting my toddler son up to 16 times in one day on the worst day. We took the following steps:
--Read books (Hands are not for hitting, Teeth are not for biting)
--Made dolls by taping photos of the children to blocks and role played positive social interactions
--I shadowed the 2 year old whenever he was with my toddler. If I could not be right there, the 2 year old was up in a booster seat coloring or in a large, gated off area of the room with plenty of toys so it wasn't seen as a punishment
--If the 2 year old was about to hit/push, I would say swoop in to gently stop him and say something like: "No hitting. Hitting hurts. Do you need to walk away?" Walk away is the phrase that worked the best and taught him to leave a situation that bothered him instead of hitting/pushing. He rarely hit/pushed over toys, just from the fact that my toddler was getting too close to his personal space.
--Meeting with parents who talked about what they were doing at home. They were doing A LOT!
--It took 1 solid week of the action play to see a change. Now we rarely have any incidents.

[coolconfidentme]

I try to make the parent responsible for their child's behavior. My policy reads:
We have a Zero Tolerance for violence policy at bla bla bla. We do not condone or allow hitting, kicking, biting, bullying, aggression or hurting others. If a child is old enough to know right from wrong & displays aggression to another person, the child will be separated from everyone and the parent/guardian with be contacted to pick up the child immediately. The child cannot return for 24 hours from the time of incident. Upon returning the child will be shadowed until they demonstrate acceptable behavior. If a parent/guardian is contacted to pick up their child three (3) times for this type of behavior, arrangements will have to be made for the child to go elsewhere for care.

[Heidi]

^^^ This. But I'd give it two weeks max, not a month. A month is a long time for you to be giving this amount of one-on-one attention.

The parents need to have a plan of how they are working on things at home.

I have a very verbal 2 year old who was pushing/hitting my toddler son up to 16 times in one day on the worst day. We took the following steps:
--Read books (Hands are not for hitting, Teeth are not for biting)
--Made dolls by taping photos of the children to blocks and role played positive social interactions
--I shadowed the 2 year old whenever he was with my toddler. If I could not be right there, the 2 year old was up in a booster seat coloring or in a large, gated off area of the room with plenty of toys so it wasn't seen as a punishment
--If the 2 year old was about to hit/push, I would say swoop in to gently stop him and say something like: "No hitting. Hitting hurts. Do you need to walk away?" Walk away is the phrase that worked the best and taught him to leave a situation that bothered him instead of hitting/pushing. He rarely hit/pushed over toys, just from the fact that my toddler was getting too close to his personal space.
--Meeting with parents who talked about what they were doing at home. They were doing A LOT!
--It took 1 solid week of the action play to see a change. Now we rarely have any incidents.

awesome strategies!

[childcaremom]

Thanks for the ideas! I've shared them with dcm so hopefully this will resolve.

Thanks again!

[TwinKristi]

I found this while looking for print outs and felt it was a good place to start. My DS is the one who's biting, not a dcc so it's a hard one. He's gotten MUCH better but it happens on a weekly basis. I'm consistent and firm with him but what else can I do? Shut down? LOL luckily the 2 dcb's he bites have understanding parents and know it's not unusual.

http://rhondasrainbowchildcare.com/biting.doc