Screaming Instead of Sleeping

[Unregistered]

I've posted before about my 6 month old reflux baby. He has never been a good sleeper, but just seems to be getting worse. His poor mom never sleeps and he will scream and scream instead of falling asleep. As soon as you pick him up he immediately stops crying/screaming. Once he's in your arms he will fall right to sleep, put him back in bed and he wakes up screaming as soon as he's away from your body.

Right now, he's in bed screaming, I've gone in to put him to sleep 5 times, had to pick him up because he's screaming so bad. We have been at this for almost and hour and no sleep.

Any advice? I recommended mom try crying it out, I think she may be ready. We've tried ferberizing and it does not work, once you make your presence know he screams worse.

I've never had such a difficult time with sleep training a baby.

[Heidi]

Yeah...at 6 months, if the Ferber method makes it worse, I think CIO may be your only option.

Perhaps everyone would feel better about it if you and mom both had visual monitors. Just turn the sound off... Then, you can see if there is any real danger.

I'd like to add that at 6 months, he can't stand up yet. Some can't sit up or crawl. Once he can do those things, he is more likely to hurt himself by falling asleep standing up or trying to climb out. We once found my niece hanging on the outside of the crib like a hamster.

[crazydaycarelady]

Have you tired swaddling? I know he is kind of old for it but I have a 9mo who won't sleep either unless he is swaddled.

[Unregistered]

Have you tired swaddling? I know he is kind of old for it but I have a 9mo who won't sleep either unless he is swaddled.

In my state we cannot swaddle past 4 weeks old due to regulations.

[Heidi]

Wanted to add:

If you are using CIO, it's so important that your routines should be consistent. At 6 months, he can certainly have a general "schedule".

Wake in the am, have a bottle, come to daycare, have breakfast, then nap for an hour (I'd wake him after an hour), then go for a walk or play outside, come in for lunch, nap again with everyone else, snack, etc. Whatever works with the rest of your group but still gets him enough rest. It's not about it being exactly 9:00, but more about what follows what.

Then, do the same thing before each nap. Tell him it's going to be nap time, give him some hugs and kisses, sing a song maybe (always the same song), and then tuck him in. "I will see you at 10..." walk out.

At 10 (or whatever time you set), go in, open curtains, sing loudly or chat. If he's crying, say "oh, you woke up sad" or something, and a "I'm happy to see you" sort of thing.

Afternoon nap, I'd put him down last and get him up first. Let him see that everyone else was asleep, too. Have him "help" you get everyone up, and tuck everyone else in at the beginning. Then, same as the morning. Cuddle, song, etc.

If you do this consistently for a week or so, he will understand what comes next and be much better about the whole thing.

Maybe you know all this already. If so...sorry...

[Willow]

I think at this point the opportunity to sleep train has been ruined/lost.

The inconsistencies have created an incredibly insecure child who has been taught he needs rescuing because laying down alone is something to fear.

I will only do CIO with a child like this, quite frankly, because there is nothing else you can do. I'd caution both you and mom though to proceed with it as consistently as possible. He's only put down awake, fed and changed, and save for an imminent threat on his life (house fire, earthquake, flood) he is not to be picked up back up unless he is quiet and calm. If when he quiets down you walk into the room and starts screaming before you get to him I'd walk right back out. Repeat, repeat, repeat until he gets the message that screaming at the top of his lungs will not net him your attention.

Both of you need to stop sending him the message that he needs rescuing!

[Heidi]

I think at this point the opportunity to sleep train has been ruined/lost.

The inconsistencies have created an incredibly insecure child who has been taught he needs rescuing because laying down alone is something to fear.

I will only do CIO with a child like this, quite frankly, because there is nothing else you can do. I'd caution both you and mom though to proceed with it as consistently as possible. He's only put down awake, fed and changed, and save for an imminent threat on his life (house fire, earthquake, flood) he is not to be picked up back up unless he is quiet and calm. If when he quiets down you walk into the room and starts screaming before you get to him I'd walk right back out. Repeat, repeat, repeat until he gets the message that screaming at the top of his lungs will not net him your attention.

Both of you need to stop sending him the message that he needs rescuing!

thank you!

I was afraid to open the thread again because I thought it'd be on fire...::

[KidGrind]

Thank you, I needed to read this post and the advice.

I love this forum.:hug:

[cheerfuldom]

How is his reflux being dealt with? I am really uncomfortable with the idea of recommending any sleep training if there are possible other issues with this little one that are not being addressed.

[Unregistered]

How is his reflux being dealt with? I am really uncomfortable with the idea of recommending any sleep training if there are possible other issues with this little one that are not being addressed.

Only thing being done for reflux is burping halfway through the feeding and keeping baby upright for 30 minutes after. Baby was sleeping in carseat but it made sleeping worse.

[Willow]

How is his reflux being dealt with? I am really uncomfortable with the idea of recommending any sleep training if there are possible other issues with this little one that are not being addressed.

That was my first thought too, but that he turns it off like a light switch the second he's picked up shoved me over to the behavioral side of the fence.

If he can fall asleep just fine in arms too, I don't think it's untreated pain or he'd struggle there as well.

[mmmommy1127]

Hi! I'm new here, but this post caught my eye because my son had reflux. Although I'm not arguing that this issue could still be a behavioral issue more than reflux related, laying the baby flat on his back could be contributing to his problem. My son had to sleep on an inclined mattress (we out a pillow under the head of his bed to raise it a little) and that helped right away with him staying asleep. He might stop crying when you pick him up because he's no longer flat, and, therefore, no longer uncomfortable. We had a hard time sleep training my son, too, and his behavior was just like the baby you're talking about. There are also other ways that reflux can be treated, if you are interested, just to rule that aspect out before sticking to CIO for the long haul. Good luck!