New Girl and I'm Unsure About It

[MamaBear]

So this morning I started watching a new girl... 2 year old and super cute. Mom came and toured with her on Saturday. She was already in another daycare but mom didn't like it and wanted a new one. I saw some red flags but was hoping I was wrong.

First red flag was that she wasn't giving the other daycare notice. But then I asked what the issues were and she said the lady has 14 daycare kids and are all kept in a small gated room... never leave that room and gets super hot and too many kids. So ok... I guess thats legit.

Another red flag was that the mom is young and I hate to say but that kinda scares me sometimes. Maybe 20 years old? I was a young mom too but I dont know... people are so different these days then in my younger days.

Anyway... she brought her this morning and she cried a bit but then was fine. Shes having a blast with the other kids right now.

But now i'm seeing other red flags... Since it was such a short notice to start here, I asked mom to bring her immunization record and all her paperwork this morning. So as I'm checking her shot record - which is actually really worn and torn... she is missing some important things. She just turned 2 last month and she hasn't had her MMR vaccine... or her Varicella... or her 4th DTP and 4th Hib. Should I even be letting her be here? I've never had a child come here without their shots all up to date already.

Then when I changed her pull up (UGH I hate when parents put pull ups on a toddler that isn't even starting potty training)... She had poop and as I'm changing her I noticed a horrible diaper rash by her butt crack. Her mom had this ointment called Gelmicin in her bag. So I called her to ask her about it and she said she gets rashes sometimes right there and thats the only stuff that works for her. Has anyone heard of this med?

I also noticed her fingernails are dirty - and toenails too... and long. Her hair is a mess. Like shes just not bathed and taken care of very well. Not stinky or filthy... just not fresh like my other daycare kids always are

Anyway... Shes super sweet and getting along great with the kids... but I'm seeing some concerns.

I'll have to give mom the list of shots she needs and discuss her rash some more. Ugh. Shes a sweet girl so it ****s when there are little issues like this that I have to deal with right off the bat. Especially since my website and contract say that all immunizations must be up to date before they even start here. Maybe she didn't realize since mom is so young. How much time do you give a parent to get those up to date once they start coming?

[JoseyJo]

So this morning I started watching a new girl... 2 year old and super cute. Mom came and toured with her on Saturday. She was already in another daycare but mom didn't like it and wanted a new one. I saw some red flags but was hoping I was wrong.

First red flag was that she wasn't giving the other daycare notice. But then I asked what the issues were and she said the lady has 14 daycare kids and are all kept in a small gated room... never leave that room and gets super hot and too many kids. So ok... I guess thats legit.

Another red flag was that the mom is young and I hate to say but that kinda scares me sometimes. Maybe 20 years old? I was a young mom too but I dont know... people are so different these days then in my younger days.

Anyway... she brought her this morning and she cried a bit but then was fine. Shes having a blast with the other kids right now.

But now i'm seeing other red flags... Since it was such a short notice to start here, I asked mom to bring her immunization record and all her paperwork this morning. So as I'm checking her shot record - which is actually really worn and torn... she is missing some important things. She just turned 2 last month and she hasn't had her MMR vaccine... or her Varicella... or her 4th DTP and 4th Hib. Should I even be letting her be here? I've never had a child come here without their shots all up to date already.

Then when I changed her pull up (UGH I hate when parents put pull ups on a toddler that isn't even starting potty training)... She had poop and as I'm changing her I noticed a horrible diaper rash by her butt crack. Her mom had this ointment called Gelmicin in her bag. So I called her to ask her about it and she said she gets rashes sometimes right there and thats the only stuff that works for her. Has anyone heard of this med?

I also noticed her fingernails are dirty - and toenails too... and long. Her hair is a mess. Like shes just not bathed and taken care of very well. Not stinky or filthy... just not fresh like my other daycare kids always are

Anyway... Shes super sweet and getting along great with the kids... but I'm seeing some concerns.

I'll have to give mom the list of shots she needs and discuss her rash some more. Ugh. Shes a sweet girl so it ****s when there are little issues like this that I have to deal with right off the bat. Especially since my website and contract say that all immunizations must be up to date before they even start here. Maybe she didn't realize since mom is so young. How much time do you give a parent to get those up to date once they start coming?

Unfortunately in my experience the really neglected kids are always the sweetest things with a break your heart smiles... I have had 2 little girls in my 5 years that came in sounding exactly as you are describing her. In both cases I enforced my rules for the safety and well being of the child (must be clean, must have on fresh clothing, must take care of medical issues, etc) and in both cases they pulled w/ no notice as they didn't want to do those things. One of them (the first, when I was new) I let get behind on payments so I was out money too.

Be careful!

[MamaBear]

Thanks... thats good to know. I have been lucky to not have these situations in the past. She is actually really sweet and great so far. It's just the little signs of her maybe being a little neglected that bother me. I hate having to tell the mom to bathe her kid and fix her hair... Maybe if I trim her nails the mom will get the hint? Or will she be like "oh cool - she'll do it for me!" haha... I hope it works but I guess time will tell. :confused:

[Willow]

I see no signs of neglect.


Dirty nails means the girl gets to play outside, so good on mom for that.

And the delay with vaccines could be entirely intentional.

My regs state I cannot allow a child into my care that isn't either caught up, has the notarized statement for non vaxers or have a note from doc explaining why a child is somewhere in between. I don't care which, but I have to have one before the child is left in my care for event a single minute.

That she pulled her child from an overcrowded situation before, or that she's younger, would not raise any red flags for me. Nor would the rash, as mom is obviously aware of it and had the where with all to make sure you had the necessary ointment to keep proper care of it.


(JMO )

[MamaBear]

I guess I'm just used to really clean kept children here. I dont see why her nails would be so long though... Doesn't take that long to trim... or clean? Especially her toenails.

I am thinking she just didn't take her to her last scheduled dr appointment. But I'll find out. Hopefully she'll get the shots done asap. I would hate to terminate due to not having shots updated. I'm in California - so I need to find out what the rules are for those shots not being done and coming to daycare. I've just never had to ask those questions before because like I've said.. I've always had children start with their shots up to date and never had to worry about it.

About the rash - what raised red flags to me was that she didn't tell me... I didnt know till I changed her. It's reaaaaally a bad rash... not minor. Like literally can see red spots where her skin is gone in some areas. So definitely something she should have told me ... in my opinion.

[countrymom]

if you have a gut feeling, I would call the previous provider. Just because a parent says something doesn't mean its true.

the rash. I looked up the cream and its anti fungal. I have a feeling that she isn't being wiped properly because that is a wierd place to have a rash. Also she may be sitting in a wet diaper for long periods of time.

I would bring up the immunization and let her know that they need to be up to date, and give her a dead line this way she has to get them done or if she chooses not to get them done then she needs a drs note.

as for her being dirty, give it a week and then see, maybe they were in a rush this morning.

[WImom]

In WI the parents get 30 days to turn in the Immunization form so sometimes I don't even know if they are up to date for 30 days. Most parents bring that right away but I've had some who haven't.

[MamaBear]

Thank you everyone who gave me helpful advice. It's nice to get advice on here and not just opinionated little responses with the "IMO" at the end. Thank you for your help!

[Willow]

Thank you everyone who gave me helpful advice. It's nice to get advice on here and not just opinionated little responses with the "IMO" at the end. Thank you for your help!

I was only trying to help but alrighty then......

There is an ignore feature on your user CP, feel free to add my name to your list if you thought what I had to offer was so incredibly useless :confused:

[MamaBear]

I was only trying to help but alrighty then......

There is an ignore feature on your user CP, feel free to add my name to your list if you thought what I had to offer was so incredibly useless :confused:

Thanks for the advice

[MNMommy2]

I would have her do the immunizations update pronto! Either get the shots or have the appropriate paperwork if they are objecting to this round of shots. I would give her until xx date and if not done they can't come until they are. Some licensors are more strict than other, though, if yours is lenient, you could give it more time.

The nails thing wouldn't bother me. Heck, I forget to check my kids' all the time! But they are otherwise immaculate, I just tend to forget to check the nails. If hygiene in general becomes a major issue, I would certainly address it. Some parents just aren't as conscientious as others. She may need some guidance.

[Unregistered]

I'm having trouble seeing how Willow's post was offensive.

By all means keep an eye on the child if you feel something is amiss, and raise any concerns you have with the mom.

We all must follow our instincts, but try not to be quick in jumping to conclusions.

[littlemissmuffet]

Thank you everyone who gave me helpful advice. It's nice to get advice on here and not just opinionated little responses with the "IMO" at the end. Thank you for your help!

I am with Willow - I don't see any real red flags here either.

It's really important for forum users to understand that when they seek other people's opinions and advice... that's what they are going to get. ::

[SilverSabre25]

I also don't really see any red flags. If the other daycare was as bad as mom is saying then the rash could be from poor hygeine at the other daycare.

Dirty, long nails and slightly unkempt hair, well, sometimes in life things slip and parents aren't perfect 100% of the time. Hell sometimes I can't remember exactly when my kids last each had a bath! And sometimes I don't notice their nails need trimmed until they accidentally scratch me, kwim?

Life happens.

[tratliff]

I am a full time stay at home mom right now, and sometimes, my son has dirty nails. Well, we spent 4 hours at the park and I didn't clean them immediately after. Not a red flag to me. She provided cream for the rash. I really agree with Willow and a few others. If your gut is churning, I would do what feels right to you. Me, I would highlight the drop-off standards in the contract like clean, trimmed nails, hygiene, etc. and see what happens in the next couple days. I don't even see the Vax thing as an issue. 90% of my mom friend either do a delayed schedule or don't vax entirely. I would just politely re-inform her of your policies and give her a few days to get everything straightened out. My son hasn't been vaccinated at all since 15 months but I have several copies of the notarized exemption on file, because I have ran out. You just never know.