As Strong is Your Backbone?

[BentleysBands]

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if it werent for forums like this to vent i think sometimes i might explode

i just dont have a thick backbone to comfront parents all the time...mostly for fear of them leaving and not liking me (its a personal problem i have, always been a ppl pleaser and worry ppl dont like me)

some parents i can confront since they are so down to earth but i have one parent who intimadates the heck outta me....not sure why...i guess cuz she carries herself as 'perfect' (her looks) and she calls her boys the 'prince's" ....funny cuz everyone knows them just as that " the Rose (last name) Prince's" lmao....

[mac60]

Not very strong sometimes. I tend to allow people to bully me and walk on me. I have gotten better with it though. I have learned to ignore those who think they are better than others, know it all etc, I think this follows thru with daycare parents and daycare issues, and outside my job situations too. Sometimes ignoring people is the best, beacause some will always think they are the cream of the crop over everyone else. I have parents that think they are absolutely wonderful.....NOT, their parenting skills are terrible, their respect for my home not too good, etc. I guess I would rather be soft and kind to people, than bold and outspoken.

[Unregistered]

Honestly-I don't care if the parents like me. I have no problem confronting them on an issue if they are breaking the rules. Never get in the mind-set that the parents call the shots. They will take advantage of that.

I had a DCK who used to cry when he came in. Not a problem-he was fine as soon as Dad left. BUT-Dad would not leave. He would stay and get him going. Then he started with some veiled threats about how he took his other kids away from their daycare providers for the same reason, blah blah blah. I called Mom. Told her if they were not comfortable with him with me, to find another sitter. Told her that if THEY were uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable. She talked to dad, and things are 100% better. Took his attitude down a notch. I think sometimes the parents need to know that YOU can terminate your services just as quickly as they can find someone else.

Stand up for yourself-if you don't , nobody else will...

[marniewon]

My backbone is a wet noodle

I have a friend (from high school) who has a 3 1/2 yo son. I watch him here and there. Usually at least once a week, sometimes twice a week. I charge her way less than I do everyone else, because she's a friend, she started him here when I had no other kids (read: desperate!) and because the last people to watch him charged her so little. Well, she's owed me $45 for the past month now. She will text me and say "can you watch x on monday? And can I pay you all that I owe on Friday?". I'll say yes, friday will come and go, and no pay. She was supposed to pay again last friday, but never showed. She's also been trying to get over here to visit with me, (and pay!!!) but keeps cancelling. Every day this week she planned to come, but rescheduled each day. This morning she texted me to tell me X's ears hurt, they weren't coming over, she'd just see me tomorrow (when I'm supposed to watch him). I did ask if she was bringing my money tomorrow and she said she'll bring enough to catch up through this week. We'll see, I guess.

Is it a bad thing to be so willing to bend over backwards for people, just to preserve the friendship? Should I get a backbone in this situation? Or just let it go? We will be moving out of the area in the next few months, so should I just **** it up for the sake of the friendship and look forward to not dealing with these issues in the future?

[missnikki]

I am a stickler for clarifying rules and policies in my handbook to prevent any gray areas, but with that comes the added bonus of being the 'bad guy'. I can honestly say that it's nice to have the policy handbook to point to when a parent tries to pull one over on me, but it ****s to even have to go there. I deal with a LOT of people, and luckily it's a little more 'professional' at a center as opposed to a small family run daycare so parents don't make it too personal.
It still ****s to have to crack down on people for things that should be common courtesy, like PAYING YOUR KIDS' PROVIDER ON TIME!

[Blackcat31]

My backbone is a wet noodle

I have a friend (from high school) who has a 3 1/2 yo son. I watch him here and there. Usually at least once a week, sometimes twice a week. I charge her way less than I do everyone else, because she's a friend, she started him here when I had no other kids (read: desperate!) and because the last people to watch him charged her so little. Well, she's owed me $45 for the past month now. She will text me and say "can you watch x on monday? And can I pay you all that I owe on Friday?". I'll say yes, friday will come and go, and no pay. She was supposed to pay again last friday, but never showed. She's also been trying to get over here to visit with me, (and pay!!!) but keeps cancelling. Every day this week she planned to come, but rescheduled each day. This morning she texted me to tell me X's ears hurt, they weren't coming over, she'd just see me tomorrow (when I'm supposed to watch him). I did ask if she was bringing my money tomorrow and she said she'll bring enough to catch up through this week. We'll see, I guess.

Is it a bad thing to be so willing to bend over backwards for people, just to preserve the friendship? Should I get a backbone in this situation? Or just let it go? We will be moving out of the area in the next few months, so should I just **** it up for the sake of the friendship and look forward to not dealing with these issues in the future?

Sounds like you are her friend, but she isn't yours. I would think that a "friend" would bend over backwards to make sure she is treating you with the upper most respect and appreciation (Paying on time). It is sad that she is showing you how little she values your friendship by not paying up.
I guess since you are moving shortly, I would just **** it up and consider it a lessoned learned and make sure you dont get in to that type of situation again. Good Luck! It is tough when these types of issues with friends and/or family come up. Every day is one day closer to not having to put up with it any more......

[katie]

I can relate to some of you above. I have a friend whos 5 mo old dcb I watch. First one, desperate at time, etc. I charge her way less than I should. She owed me a whole week behind. She whipped out the pay last Friday. I almost fell on the ground! Good point above, when we are the friend and they are not! A good friend would pay better than others b/c they should respect you or at least pay what they owe. I feel the wet noodle backbone. I was so yucky feeling with a cold on Monday. Dcm knew how I felt. She dropped off at 7:30 and didn't pick up until 8 pm! yes, you read that right. She was suppost to pick up at 6. Hello? Common sense would have said hey, I'll pick up my child on time b/c obviously my childcare provider feels bad. Nope. Doesn't care. Then there's the don't you want to be with your child at all in a 24 hour period issue but that's another thread! ::Hang in there!