Becoming Friends With DC Parent?

[jokalima]

Have you done it? How do handle the friendship and the business part?

I have had good relationships with all my families, they've invited me to their parties, sometimes I go, sometimes don't but always put a wall up because I wanted to keep it mostly business. Now I have a new family, mom is from my country so I feel I can talk with her freely and she will understand me 100%, she is very friendly, I really like her and it seems she really likes me. She kinda invited me to go out with our kids to a farm, I declined. She has no family here, she is new to the area, I have no friends here, not new, been here for almost 6 years, but I just work and in a home day care so not that much time to socialize and make friends. I wanted to ask her if I could show her around so she could get to know the area and where to get things we like, like during a weekend, but then think about it like 30 times because she is a DC parent. Should I just take the risk and start a new friendship? Or keep it business?

[butterfly]

You'll probably get varied answers... I'd say go for it. Make a friend have some fun.

[momofsix]

I think I'm probably one of the few that will say go ahead and be friends with her-if you haven't had any problems with her and your policies so far. I've become very close to many of my dc moms and it has never caused any issues for me. It's whatever YOU feel comfortable with.

[blandino]

One of my current best friends started out as a client. We met them when her daughter was 13 months, and is now 4.5. She is a great friend, and always kept the daycare side of our relationship as professional as possible. We are great friends, and never would have met had we not had her as a client. Her daughter started school this fall, so I am not seeing them nearly as often, but has only made me realize how good of friends we are.

I would go for it. As long as you don't start to let things slide because you are friends.

[mom2many]

I have had quite a few dcms become very close friends. I had one single mom that we did lots of things together with our kids growing up. She had no family on the west coast and we became her extended family. Even after they moved back to Maine, we exchanged pictures and Christmas cards and 8 yrs later they came out to visit us.

One of my very best friends, I met when I started watching her newborn daughter. We have been close friends for over 24 yrs and recently went to her daughter's wedding last summer.

Two other very good friends of mine were also dcms- one I've been friends with for 12 years & another for 10 years.

We have gone camping, had bbq's, gone to parties with many of the daycare families over the years. I currently play bunco with a few of the moms I have done daycare for and go away for scrapbook weekends with several too.

There have been many that it has always been strictly business and it really is determined by our personalities and if we have commom interests to establish a friendship.

I have never had anyone take advantage of me after forming a friendship and if anything it has only formed a closer bond. It's always been a positive both professionally in my business and personally in my life.

If I were you, I would definitely be open to forming a friendship with this person- but that's just me & I have not had any negative reasons for not doing so!

[Josiegirl]

Another vote 'go for it'. You can make a new friend anywhere in life; I don't think we should ever pass up the opportunity. Sounds like you have lots in common and she'd probably really appreciate the welcome into a new place.
If she's a good client now, I'm sure she'll remain a good client.

[mom2many]

Another vote 'go for it'. You can make a new friend anywhere in life; I don't think we should ever pass up the opportunity. Sounds like you have lots in common and she'd probably really appreciate the welcome into a new place.
If she's a good client now, I'm sure she'll remain a good client.

[LK5kids]

I have had a number of dcm's become very close friends!!!

[itlw8]

I have not had a problem with it They never took advantage of it. just like we did not ask for free car repairs from her dh. But then people I would have as a friend do not treat friends badly. and they were great clients before we slowly became friends.

[preschoolteacher]

Go for it! I wouldn't immediately start confiding in her like you would a friend who is not a client, and I would never complain or vent about the daycare to her. Try spending time with her and hanging out without making it "too personal"... then later you can see if you want to open up more and make her a closer friend!

Being at home with kids all day limits the people you will meet and the friends you will make. I wouldn't turn down a chance to make a new friend because she is a client. Especially if you both are from the same country!! When I lived abroad, I was always so happy to meet other Americans. There's something to be said for shared culture. It brings people closer.

[TwinKristi]

I would have considered myself friends with a DCM until recently. Things got really weird and she just gave me 3 months notice that her dcb is leaving for preschool at 23mos, her dd didn't start there until she was over 3. Now my feelings are sort of hurt and I feel as though I should've maybe kept my guard up and been more business and less friend. I was looking at this as a long term thing, our boys are close and I was considering switching to a preschool program for the 3 I have close in age, and to add insult to injury I'm losing 2 more kids this month. So now it's a big BIG loss of income. I know how much they pay to send the kids there (more than I charge, and no meals) so when she says anything about money I have a harder time believing it now knowing they're going to be paying a LOT more a month here soon and leaving me in the dust. 1 of the dcm's leaving this month is also a long time friend. I've kinda bent some rules for her over time and again, now here I am losing income. She is taking her dcb to preschool FT which is good for him, but again, someone with a lot of financial issues now has the ability to pay more, pay on time and get there earlier. SMH... Makes me feel taken advantage of.
Just be careful.

[LaLa1923]

Have you done it? How do handle the friendship and the business part?

I have had good relationships with all my families, they've invited me to their parties, sometimes I go, sometimes don't but always put a wall up because I wanted to keep it mostly business. Now I have a new family, mom is from my country so I feel I can talk with her freely and she will understand me 100%, she is very friendly, I really like her and it seems she really likes me. She kinda invited me to go out with our kids to a farm, I declined. She has no family here, she is new to the area, I have no friends here, not new, been here for almost 6 years, but I just work and in a home day care so not that much time to socialize and make friends. I wanted to ask her if I could show her around so she could get to know the area and where to get things we like, like during a weekend, but then think about it like 30 times because she is a DC parent. Should I just take the risk and start a new friendship? Or keep it business?

I say go for it!

I have become very close with a dcm I have. I have gone to her daughters birthday party and she's a great and wonderful person!

I love her and her husband.

They invited all of us (7) to come to their cabin next month. We accepted, and can't wait!

She never ever ever breaks a single daycare rule. I have never ever ever had to bend any rules. She knows what I expect and goes above and beyond.

[countrymom]

I also say go for it. I'm friends with several of the parents and we all have a great time. We all live in small town and go to each other homes. Its nice because we really don't have family around us so we do depend on each other.

[Jack Sprat]

The reply I posted here was suppose to be on a different thread! !

[renodeb]

To be honest I would really caution any provider against getting to friendly with a client. Its just that its so easy to get to comfortable with them and them with you. There needs to be a line drawn for sure. I made the mistake of thinking that I was "friends with a client and then we had a run in and after that it was very clear that I was just the dc provider and nothing more. Be careful always keep it professional. To easy to blur those lines.
Deb