Parents Threaten Child- WWYD?

[Clara]

Have young parents [17 and 19 years old] who constantly use threats to convince child [25 mos. old] to behave or worse yet - use manners. Everyday I hear it but their is no evidence of physically abuse or any follow through, just oral.

Examples of today's: child refused to look at a person speaking to them - parent "if you do not look at _____ I'm going to not let you watch ______ tonight"
child refuses to give kiss goodbye - parent "give me a kiss or I'll pop you. Do you want me to pop you?"

What should I do?
Speaking to them has not helped. Both parents just laugh it off as their 'parenting style'.
The child is increasingly becoming more uncooperative.

I'd love to smack them myself! :: ::

[spinnymarie]

If you've already talked to them, you may have done all you can IMO... aside from terming so you don't have to watch it play out.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

"Don't talk to your child that way or I'll pop you! Do you want me to pop you?"

or

"Oooh, you can pop me! I'll have a Dr. Pepper!"

or

More seriously, schedule a private conference with them to whole-heartedly try to help them out with more positive parenting. If they take offense and walk, so be it, because I could not tolerate anyone talking to kids that way in my house.

[WImom]

Have young parents [17 and 19 years old] who constantly use threats to convince child [25 mos. old] to behave or worse yet - use manners. Everyday I hear it but their is no evidence of physically abuse or any follow through, just oral.

Examples of today's: child refused to look at a person speaking to them - parent "if you do not look at _____ I'm going to not let you watch ______ tonight"
child refuses to give kiss goodbye - parent "give me a kiss or I'll pop you. Do you want me to pop you?"

What should I do?
Speaking to them has not helped. Both parents just laugh it off as their 'parenting style'.
The child is increasingly becoming more uncooperative.

I'd love to smack them myself! :: ::

I hate when parents do this. I used to have one that would do that over her daughter not napping (TV SHOW Example). I hated that she didn't always nap but she was most of the time quiet. That didn't count. It was only if she napped. Some days I felt like I should just say she slept.

I have one now that is my naughty kid. They tell him he can't ride his bike if he doesn't behave. So if it's raining I guess he could care less right? He doesn't care anyways. It better than them saying he would have to go to his old daycare if he didn't behave here! I finally said something about that one!

[Willow]

In both the counties I've been licensed in I have to write up and have on file a discipline policy stating what I do, acknowledging that I know physical abuse, neglect and threats are wrong and a signature that verifies none of that will ever happen in my home.

I have in the past shared it with parents that use slapping of fingers, spankings or threats of physical violence in my home. I let them know it's not allowed here by my hands or at the hands of anyone in my presence. At that point I remind them I am also a mandated reporter and (fake) sheepishly admit I really don't want to report such silliness but according to the law I have to if it doesn't stop. I let them know I don't condone violence and wouldn't let any other parent speak that way in the presence of their child either.

[Brooksie]

I used to have one who never wanted to put his shoes on, dcd always told him if he didn't he would tan his hide For shoes? Really? I don't have that child any more, and they are my neighbors. Very nice people. idk if they spank or not but I've never heard screams of abuse (houses are very close together).

[Clara]

Upsets me


The threats, regardless if carried out or not, are upsetting.
I started speaking up when it was done in front of other children. But alas, I guess I should have used my "Mother Disapproves Voice" to have them know I'm serious.
You know KMK you may have hit upon a point I did not consider - the parents may understand if I threatened them if they continue...no I'm not really going to but it is a thought.::
The private conference sounds like the correct platform for this type of conversation. I feel like knocking myself on the head - Why didn't I think of that!
Glad I've got the weekend to plan my parenting mini lesson. Can't really say what I'd like to, LOL Must be sweet :hug: lovethis. Sometimes I forget that I not only am teaching the children manors but many times the parents Parenting Skills lessons.

[Starburst]

Have young parents [17 and 19 years old] who constantly use threats to convince child [25 mos. old] to behave or worse yet - use manners. Everyday I hear it but their is no evidence of physically abuse or any follow through, just oral.

Examples of today's: child refused to look at a person speaking to them - parent "if you do not look at _____ I'm going to not let you watch ______ tonight"
child refuses to give kiss goodbye - parent "give me a kiss or I'll pop you. Do you want me to pop you?"

What should I do?
Speaking to them has not helped. Both parents just laugh it off as their 'parenting style'.
The child is increasingly becoming more uncooperative.

I'd love to smack them myself! :: ::

They seem very immature and oblivious on how to motivate a child. I would remind them that you are a mandated reporter and if you hear them threaten to "pop" (I assume that means "hit") their child that you are legally required to notify the proper authorities, even if it is a "joke" (child abuse is not a joke). Also the "not looking someone in the eye" could be a sign of anxiety issues or other issues (some children with autism have a hard time looking people in the eyes). I have in my future policies that on my child care home property children are not to be threatened or physically punished- even by their parents; because the other children in your daycare home have a right not to be exposed (seeing or hearing) that. You may want to check your state laws, because I put that doing so would result in immediate probation, if not termination. At my school's CDC the director terminated a family on the spot because the mom spanked her child in the center (not where the children could see, but where the college students could see) and because it happened in the center they had to report it to licensing.