Nosey Damn Parents

[momma2girls]

I have to agree to some extent. We are opening our homes to people and if you don't want them to see something, don't put it where they can read it. if a parent has a sippy of milk for their child and offers to put it in the fridge, I gladly let them, as I usually have several children hanging around and don't always have time for something like that. I appreciate it.

asking you is one thing, but to just place it in your fridge, is totally a different story!!!!

[tenderhearts]

I don't really have a complaint about this dad because they have been one of the BEST parents anyone could ask for but he never writes his check out to me at home, he does it when he gets here so he always walks into my kitchen to look at the calendar which is in the total opposite direction of the daycare room, which kind of annoys me because it's my "messy" counter the one people cant' see unless they walk in there and he use to and I don't know why he stopped but he would always take her "lunch" bucket and put it in the fridge or go get it, yup just opens my fridge, kind of bothered me but I think he thought he was being helpful, I don't know what changed but he doesn't do that anymore and she's been coming here for 4 1/2 yrs, she brings a lunch bucket because they live a long ways from me so it's for her to munch on on the way home, but I never quite understood why people dont make their checks out before they come, I always did the night before and stuck it in the diaper bag, but I have a few parents that do it when they get here.

[kendallina]

asking you is one thing, but to just place it in your fridge, is totally a different story!!!!

I wouldn't totally mind that. Obviously we each have our own comfort level with what parents should do in our home, so we should make sure that we communicate that to the parents, otherwise they won't know and it would lead to some unhappy providers.

I didn't mean for that to come out snarky...hopefully it didn't

[mac60]

I want to add....that parents stepping over the gate is a liability issue for me. The last parent that did was a dad they had picked up for the first time since his girls came here, flew in the front door, I didn't even know he had walked in and when I looked up he was stepping over the gate and caught his foot. I don't want to be paying for a broken foot because a parent was disrepectful in my home, and they is what I consider it, when you walk in and get off the entry way rug with your shoes and fly on it.......

[momofsix]

I make sure that anything in my living room, dining room, kitchen and daycare area of basemant is ok for parents at any time. Most of them feel that my home is a "home-away-from-home" for their children, and by some extention of that they feel pretty at home at my house too. Most of them have eaten dinner at our house more than once and anything that's out in the open is ok for them to see. I wouldn't mind them going in my -had a mom put her frozen milk in the freezer when she dropped off each day, one less thing for me to do!
I guess it all depends on the relationship you have with your families. If it is strictly business, then absolutely they have NO business at all reading your things and going through your house. If it's more of a partnership/extention of family type thing then it's most likely not a problem.
Either way, they should respect your things and not ruin them!

[MarinaVanessa]

[QUOTE=mac60;50531]The point is, parents being nosy, making an effort to read a note I had for my benefit on my door, then being bold enough to comment on it. QUOTE]

And from what I understood this was a door that was not to be accesible by the parent correct? As in it was behind a barrier that was meant to keep certain people on a certain side of it.

I don't mind that parents come in and such but I have a designated space called the parent's board that has all of the information that I want them to have. The kiddos don't use my dining table much anymore they have their own table and so I would leave some paperwork and notes on it so that I could work on them and I had parents coming in and reading or shuffling through them even if it wasn't meant for them :confused:. I once had a reminder slip for a doctors appointment on the counter by my bills near my back door because I had gotten a UTI and was supposed to go back to make sure that it was gone and a parent walked all of the way back there while my fiance was cooking and picked it up and read it and then asked me about it :confused:. I think that's personal and that she shouldn't have done that. Yes, it was out but it was not out so that she could read it. It was out so that I wouldn't forget the appointment. If you have a space that is designated for them and a space that is not they should respect that.

[mac60]

Maybe the parent thought this was a notice that she was supposed to read. Unless she's a horse wearing blinders, I think it would be human nature to read a sign while one is "waiting at a gate". I would not have taken offense or considered her nosy... her comment to you doesn't come off that way at all. If anything, she agreed with you.

Honestly, if the person who I paid & entrusted to care for my baby had a sign on her wall titled "crazy schedule" - you bet I'll be craning my neck to read it. I might even step over that gate to do it too. I'd want to be 100% positive that my child was being properly cared for & watched every second of the day.

Seriously it is NONE of her business.....Who is to say that it had anything to do with daycare....It could of been my daughters college and work schedule, my husbands appointments, my volunteer work at the nursing home, it could of been anyone's schedule that lives in this house. This IS my home to which I make a house payment and pay taxes, my family does live here, to say that any parent has the right to come into my home and start reading my personal stuff is simply wrong...if the parents need to see something, it is always inside the front door, been that way for 11 years.

[mac60]

Sorry, but in my opinion, if you have it on your door, i don't see a problem with someone reading it. If you don't want people to see something, put it away. If it's out, expect it will be looked at. You open your home to people, if you are that guarded maybe you shouldnt run a business from your home.

Wow, quite the statement here. It wasn't on the front door that the parents use. It was on another door in another room. It was for my use, not theirs, and I have every right to put whatever up to help me stay organized whether it is daycare related or not, doesn't make it ok for nosy parents to stand and read my personal stuff. If I am guarded I shouldn't run a business....wow, this is my familys home. Even my own friends and family don't come in and get nosy like that. What ever happened to respect for people and the homes....obviously the younger generations of parents/people lost that some where along the way.

[QualiTcare]

I can see both sides here. Personally, I prefer my parents come in, walk about, check out the playroom and see what their kids are doing. They don't knock, they just come in and they walk from the entry, through the playroom, and sometimes on the other side through the dining/kitchen area to the back yard, depending on where the children are when the parent arrives. They go in and check their child's cubby, get their jackets from their hooks at the back door, see any new projects we are working on, etc. I'm far to busy to greet every family at the door, and prefer to not be interrupted having to answer the door just because they are here for the day or here to pick up. I don't leave anything out that I wouldn't want read or seen by my parents. While I understand not wanting a parent to walk with muddy shoes on in your house, or to see what's hanging on the fridge, I can also see the parents perspective in that they want to be able to see the environment - all of it- where their children have regular access. And, if my provider had a gate that barred me from entering the space in which my child spends a significant portion of her day, and I didn't feel "welcome" to enter, I'd probably leave and not come back.

i agree. the parents were always welcome in my home (other than my bedroom). they'd come into the kitchen if i was cooking or feeding the kids. they'd go into my kid's bedrooms if that's where the kids were playing. they could use my restroom if they needed to. i always had/have bills and appointments posted on my fridge and i really wouldn't care if anyone saw them. some of the parents would ask to use my computer and sit at my desk where i had all kinds of junk. when you're running a business from your home where people are coming in and out (especially daycare) - you have to be careful about what you have out for people to see. i might wash the dishes when i really didn't feel like it or clean the bathroom when i wanted to put it off because parents judge your environment as they should. it was none of the parent's business if my husband or i drank beer in the evening - but i still made sure to take the trash out so they wouldn't see it. i guess i could've told a parent who went to throw something out, "no, you can't use my trashcan. this is my home!" but i'd feel pretty silly - and it was much easier to just put things out of sight i didn't want to be seen.

[QualiTcare]

I wouldn't totally mind that. Obviously we each have our own comfort level with what parents should do in our home, so we should make sure that we communicate that to the parents, otherwise they won't know and it would lead to some unhappy providers.

I didn't mean for that to come out snarky...hopefully it didn't

i agree with you. parents got in my fridge all the time and if i was making breakfast when they dropped off, i had one mom especially who would help set her child up - grab a fork from the drawer for him, etc. i didn't mind it - i appreciated it. it's a benefit of having a home daycare IMO - it's less formal and the kids and the parents should feel comfortable, but yeah, everyone has their own comfort zones.

[MarinaVanessa]

i agree with you. parents got in my fridge all the time and if i was making breakfast when they dropped off, i had one mom especially who would help set her child up - grab a fork from the drawer for him, etc. i didn't mind it - i appreciated it. it's a benefit of having a home daycare IMO - it's less formal and the kids and the parents should feel comfortable, but yeah, everyone has their own comfort zones.

This is what you feel comfortable with which is great. For me however, I choose to keep my daycare stuff seperated from my personal stuff, in the example like yours about the fork I have to agree that I appreciate it that some parents choose to do this themselves. I just don't like people (not even some of my family) going through my stuff. I keep open shelves in the kitchen with all of our DC dishes, utencils, bottles etc. DC toys are kept out and personal toys are kept upstairs and put away. Notices for parents are kept on the communication board in the front room and my personal stuff is kept in my kitchen on the counter near the door leading into the garage.

Yes I run a business here and so I can excpect a limited amount of privacy but I do appreciate having what little I do have to myself respected. I don't go into Lowe's to speak to an associate and go through their desk cabinets to read hand written notes and climb up the ladder and go through the top stock while I'm "waiting".

[AnythingsPossible]

Wow, quite the statement here. It wasn't on the front door that the parents use. It was on another door in another room. It was for my use, not theirs, and I have every right to put whatever up to help me stay organized whether it is daycare related or not, doesn't make it ok for nosy parents to stand and read my personal stuff. If I am guarded I shouldn't run a business....wow, this is my familys home. Even my own friends and family don't come in and get nosy like that. What ever happened to respect for people and the homes....obviously the younger generations of parents/people lost that some where along the way.

I personally feel that if you choose to operate a business out of your home, your making the choice to not have as much privacy. If a parent went snopping in your private office or bedroom that's one thing, but stuff out in the open is another. Personally, if I was a parent I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my children somewhere that I am made to stay behind a gate and not come any closer. That seems odd to me, but that's the joy of running our own business I guess, you can make those choices. I agree with pp, if it's out, you should expect it to be looked at. Yes, it is your home, but you are making the choice to open it up to people. Everyone runs their business there own way for sure.

[DBug]

I once had a reminder slip for a doctors appointment on the counter by my bills near my back door because I had gotten a UTI and was supposed to go back to make sure that it was gone and a parent walked all of the way back there while my fiance was cooking and picked it up and read it and then asked me about it :confused:. .

This bothers me. That parent was totally overstepping. I've never had overly intrusive parents, but if I did, I'd be letting them know exactly what the boundaries are. I do occasionally have my payment book laying open on the counter -- if a parent decided to snoop, they could end up snooping not just in my business, but in all the other families' business too. It's just not right, even if I am watching their child.

As a comparison, if a parent were to go looking around the office or rifling through the papers on the manager's desk at a daycare center, they'd be asked VERY quickly to leave, and no one would have trouble understanding why. I see my daycare as a business. There are contracts, policies, receipts, and payment schedules set up to that end. I just don't think parents have a right to go looking for information about someone's personal life (unrelated to the care of their child) just because their child spends time at their home. It comes down to the whole trust issue again -- if you're wary about leaving your kid there, don't!

[Crystal]

Dbug....ITA that parents shouldn't be "going through stuff" For instance, if a parent came in and opened my desk drawers and questioned me about something, I'd have no issue telling them that that is my personal business, that they are overstepping boundaries and to please not do that again. BUT, what is REALLY being talked about here is the parent seeing something that is out in plain view (not referring to MarinaVaneessa's stuff, it wasn't in an area parents should be) Stuff on the fridge IS going to be easily seen AND read, by most parents, not just one. It just happens that only one commented on it.....but it's likely others had seen it too.

The whole point I'd like to make, is, if you don't want a parent to see something, put it behind closed doors. YES, this IS your home, but it's also place of business. No, I don't go into Lowe's and get into drawers, but I do notice stuff hanging on Bulletin Boards and sitting ON TOP of desks and, yes, I am nosey and sometimes read those things. ESPECIALLY if I am being made to wait while someone gets something for me.

[Blackcat31]

I want to add....that parents stepping over the gate is a liability issue for me. The last parent that did was a dad they had picked up for the first time since his girls came here, flew in the front door, I didn't even know he had walked in and when I looked up he was stepping over the gate and caught his foot. I don't want to be paying for a broken foot because a parent was disrepectful in my home, and they is what I consider it, when you walk in and get off the entry way rug with your shoes and fly on it.......

I had a tough time with a using a baby gate too. Parents always tried to step over or the babies climbed it. But I am lucky enough to have a great husband who is fairly handy so he made me a 1/2 door gate that separates my entryway from the main part of the house. The kids' cubbies and coathooks are all in the entry way. The 1/2 door is a great way to keep all the cold air in winter from coming in and getting little ones who are on the floor playing and it also keeps all the messy dirt and stuff in the entryway. However, there is also a big sign on the gate that says "Everyone welcome...just remove your shoes first." Most parents prefer to stay on the other side, but ALL know they are welcome to come in whenever they like. I also have a bell on the entry door so I can hear when someone enters or exits and I tell everyone not to knock...I don't have time to always stop and answer the door. ALL parents are welcome to enter whenever they want and I can always hear the bell.
In regards to items being out, I guess in my opinion if I don't want it viewed by others I put it on the inside of a cupboard or I keep things inside file folders. I can't avoid posting schedules and notes on my wipe-off calendar board where everyone can read. If others see when everyone else is coming or going, I can't help it. No one has ever made comments about someone else's schedule so that is weird, but if I want to keep it private, I guess I think it is my job to put it out of sight.
Like Crystal said, if I am waiting somewhere, I read everything posted.....can't help it. In the grocery store the other day I had to wait for a price check and while I was waiting I could totally read the list of everyone who was not suppose to write checks to the store anymore. Sorry..I read it, I couldn't help it but I didn't comment on it....(at least not outloud!)