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How do you balance the personal moments during the day? There are times of day where DD (2.5) just wants to sit in my lap or snuggle during the day which I love and think is important. She does a lot of sharing (of space and mommy) during the day and I feel like she needs those special one on one moments with me. I try to make all my dcks feel loved and like they are at home here and every one gets there fair share of snuggles and hugs, but lately I have been noticing more from my oldest dcg (will be 3 in a couple weeks) that has been climbing up into my lap or trying to come snuggle while I'm having the one on one moments with dd. I don't want her to feel left out or denied love but at the same time I am dd's mom and she should be able to have special time with me during the day. How do you guys manage it? Balance it?
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If its DC hours, it's a free-for-all here. I won't NOT allow a DCK to sit on my lap when one or more of my DDs are there, just like I wouldn't deny my own child for one of the DCKs. Just me- we get a lot of family snuggles outside of time, and I just explain its about sharing
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I agree. During daycare hours I belong to everyone (with the exception of nursing, I don't nurse the other babiesIf its DC hours, it's a free-for-all here. I won't NOT allow a DCK to sit on my lap when one or more of my DDs are there, just like I wouldn't deny my own child for one of the DCKs. Just me- we get a lot of family snuggles outside of time, and I just explain its about sharing
).
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When my daughter was small, she used to wake after an hour of nap, but would go back to sleep if I held her. I decided to just embrace it, and when she woke, I got her from the room where everyone naps, and we'd curl up together on the couch. She'd sleep; I'd read. No one else got that. Sometimes I'd think of everything I could be getting done, but then I'd realize how fleeting it all is, and would just fall back into loving holding her. Now she's 4 and she reads on her mat when she wakes up, just like everyone else.
When she's feeling jealous of the attention the other kids get, she leans toward getting aggressive with them. I taught her at a very young age that if she'd just tell me she needed my attention, she'd get it. We'd often stop for a hug or a cuddle. I sometimes sit her on the kitchen counter while I cook so we can have a few extra minutes for a private chat.
Also, once she was born, I stopped taking kids younger than she is. (Until last year, when she was 3.) I didn't want her to have to deal with the constant attention I'd have to give to a baby (unless it was our baby).
That said, she doesn't get to take all the attention. She hates it when I hold someone else and will say "you're MY mama!" I remind her that that's true, but I am also so-and-so's teacher, and they need me, too. I think all the kids need my love and physical attention.Comment
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My dd is 6 months old and I have her schedule set so that during nap time her and I cuddle. I am starting to get her into the routine of napping at the same time as the other kids, but I'll hold her a little bit longer and rock her a little bit more before I lay her down.Comment
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my DD (almost 2) wakes up before everyone else at nap so we snuggle and read books or just do one on one things. We get 30-45 mins before the next DCK is up.
Honestly I don't do lap sitting for anyone during DC hours. They can sit next to me and I give them hugs but I noticed it was becoming an issue with DD and one DCG fighting over my lap so I just stopped it. We all sit together and no one feels "left out" or whatever.Comment
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My ds is only 13 months and doesn't really cuddle unless he is tired so we have our cuddle time before nap. I usually will cuddle with him until he falls asleep. I know that many times we complain about parents doing this, but he's home with me and I don't care... But he does take a nap if I just lay him in his crib so if someone were to watch him, he would do fine. Other than that, everyone is free to cuddle with me at any time during hours! I really only have one dcg who will cuddle occasionally anyways. The rest are boys-13 mo to 24 mo and they won't cuddle.
I also have a 10 yr old and she wants no part in cuddling anymore.
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I tend to snuggle all the kids. My son(almost 3) is starting to realize that yes, I'll hold him as soon as I'm done feeding the baby, etc..and that he & the other toddler can both sit on the couch to listen to a book. Sometimes he gets jealous, but it's sweet when the kids love on me. He gets overwhelmed easily, so he'll come snuggle up & nurse when he needs me. I keep a very small ratio for this precise reason. My son is very spirited & full of energy. On bad days, it's a tornado of emotion, so I try and keep it easygoing and peaceful here.Comment
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I snuggle everyone, my lap is free game .
! DD does ask for me to give her more squeezes or to squeeze her tighter because as she said I am her momma. Also, after everyone leaves we snuggle together on the couch. She said next to the bus ride home that her favorite part of the day. ::
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Honestly, you are your daughter's Mom not her daycare provider and it's okay in my opinion to act like that. Everyone has different thoughts on that subject and you have to do what you feel is best.
I won't stop being "Mom" just because another child might not like it just like their Mom doesn't stop being Mom during their time with their child.Comment
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My kiddo gets first dibs at me during daycare and after. If she needs me, she gets me and the other kiddos have to wait. That might seem harsh to some, but the reality is I am a mother first and a daycare provider second.
My two 2yos have been exhibiting signs of jealousy and "need" me as soon as they see me pick up my daughter, talk to her, feed her, snuggle her, etc. I simply explain to them that they can also have hugs and snuggles when I am done with the baby. Thankfully my dd is not at all needy or clingy and loves tummy time - so that leaves me LOTS of free time to have with my dcks too. I also explain to the dcks that I am the baby's mommy and she needs me just like they need their mommies. They are starting to get that.
When dd is older I will have her on a different nap schedule so she and I can have alone time during the day - a lunch date, movie and a snuggle, etc.
This is my kid's house, I am her mom... I won't treat her as a daycare child.Comment
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My DS is almost 14 months and for the most part he's pretty independent, but today he's not feeling good so he's spent pretty much the whole day clinging to me other than when I was cooking. Sometimes the kids fight over my lap and I just try to give them turns, but my DS will always come first no matter what! I think being a good mommy only makes me a better childcare provider.Comment
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lovethis I really like this. I think I agree with this post the most. I'm doing daycare to spend time with her. Of course I love being a strong and positive force in the other children's growth, but I'm here for her. I like the idea of having her on a different nap schedule, but I don't know how that would play out. I wish I had more space to accomplish this, it sounds perfect.
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