URGENT Opinions Needed

[Cradle2crayons]

I have had a few first time parents like her. The kids were good here at daycare, but it was the Mom's that I could not get along with. I don't understand this idea that parents have today about a child at one year of age having to be learning preschool things. Hec, they are only a year old, just figuring out life itself and who they are. They don't have the skills yet to do many things and have no attention span to do things like color or sit and learn or do crafts! It's the provider that will do the crafts for them and the child is not learning anything,all so the parents thinks it is their child who is doing that craft. Parents today seem to feel and have been told that their child has to become the smartest child and has to know everything,numbers,shapes,colors, etc by age 2 yrs old. I know this subject is off the beaten path of the original post,but this is something that really irks me with the parents and society of today.
Let a child be a child for a couple years, they will start learning soon enough and will do it for 12 yrs. The DO learn through play and in my daycare we do learn things, but it is not in a structured way, it is play based and they seem to learn faster when you make it fun. Anyway that is enough of my beef about parents wanting a yr old to know alot of stuff. On a side not, I had a Daycare mom of a one yr old boy ask me to have him help me around the house so he could learn how to do chores. She wanted me to have him unload my dishwasher, help fold my laundry and said that he would even vacuum for me as he loved to use his play vac at home. She also wanted me to have him do a project every day, but he was not at all interested in doing any of that and couldn't even hold a crayon yet and no way would I allow him to use a scissor. So I would be doing the project just so she could say he did it, in her mind. Sorry, but teaching him how to do chores is not part of my job, it is the parents job! Why is it that us daycare providers today are asked to do what the parents should be doing with their child? I don't have a problem with daycare's that have a preschool, but what happened to parents taking responsibility for teaching their child these things and not expecting the daycare's to do it for them. It is like, parents have their kids, choose to work for whatever reason,usually out of need, but expect everyone else to teach them things and then they don't have too. I'm not saying every parent is like this, but the majority of them are. We are supposed to care for their child while they are at work and make sure they are safe and loved during the day and should not have be expected to teach them, unless it is what we want to do, but that is really the parents job, at least that is how I grew up. My parents were the ones that taught me things and really wanted to be the ones to do that. Not a daycare provider. Oh Well, the world is changing and so is society, so we do what we have to do, so forgive my rant and rave here. Anyone else feel like I do? Sometimes I feel like us daycare providers are unappreciated for what we do and also very much taken advantage of. But then we do what we do because we love the kids.

completely agree with you.

As a mother, I would much rather my one year old learn about themselves, their world, and manners like please and thank you. As well as socialization and how to get along with others. Basically I want them to learn to be productive members of their peer group and society before memorizing the scientific table!

As a provider, I've interviewed a lot of parents who want their one year olds to learn three languages, how to read and be potty trained before they are 18 months. Once I explain how things work here and they see the other kids in action, I clouding my own, 99% realize their expectations are not going to happen here. If they still seem clueless, I'm suddenly full and no spots will ever be open for that family

[caregiver]

completely agree with you.

As a mother, I would much rather my one year old learn about themselves, their world, and manners like please and thank you. As well as socialization and how to get along with others. Basically I want them to learn to be productive members of their peer group and society before memorizing the scientific table!

As a provider, I've interviewed a lot of parents who want their one year olds to learn three languages, how to read and be potty trained before they are 18 months. Once I explain how things work here and they see the other kids in action, I clouding my own, 99% realize their expectations are not going to happen here. If they still seem clueless, I'm suddenly full and no spots will ever be open for that family

I have had parents ask if I teach another language also and it has been with children that young and I will tell them "no", for the reason that they are just trying to learn their own language at this age and they are also just learning to talk at that age and understand it. Also I had a set of parents that wanted me to teach their child religion and I couldn't believe that they asked me to do that. I said No of course and said that was not something I did and that it was a personal subject that should be up to them to teach their child. Oh ya, I also had a set of parents tell me after a interview that they didn't think my home was big enough for their son to run around in,which I do not allow kids to run all over my home anyway and that by back yard was too small for him to really play in....now by back yard is almost a half an acre and that was not big enough. What some parents expect! My husband was home during the interview and he couldn't believe what they had said also. Do you have to have a huge house to do daycare......mine is 1700 square feet, which is plenty big enough for me to do daycare and I have a room dedicated to daycare, a playroom.

[MotherNature]

I wouldn't take them..Mom sounds like she could be a problem.

[Leigh]

how much notice do you all generally like in order to schedule? my group is small so i dont do a lot of interviews and i like a week in advance if possible. I also dont do initial interviews during daycare hours. i dont allow strangers around the kids and it is not fun trying to have a conversation and taking care of up to 7 other kids at the same time.[/QUOTE]

I schedule all interviews at 5:45 on Mondays. It gives me time to feed my own child, and my house is still in good shape from my Sunday cleaning.

[Cradle2crayons]

I typically can interview almost any weekday between 900 am and noon. My parents all work afternoon except occasionally one mom will work a lunch double shift so I have her two a few days a week from 1000 am until midnight.

[JoseyJo]

I wouldn't take them..Mom sounds like she could be a problem.

Agreed, too many red flags.

[cheerfuldom]

UPDATE so again, after one of MY emails, there is no speedy response although she clearly wants me to immediately reply to her. I am guessing she was upset by the no on the interview and I probably wont hear from her again. We'll see. or she is calling everyone else and seeing if someone else will do it but trust me, I know A LOT of providers in my area and finding part time care for a 1 year old (who is cloth diapers) is down right impossible. she may find someone but it would be a miracle if they can do what she is asking and so quickly. we will see what happens.

[Sugar Magnolia]

What a pain in the butt! She is already messing up your weekend with just the calls and emails! I'm.so glad you told her NO on the interview. Hope you get to relax now!:hug:

[Maria2013]

I wouldn't take them..Mom sounds like she could be a problem.

even just one of those comments, would have me direct mom to keep looking ::

[DEBBIES DAYCARE]

The bottom line is to trust your gut. If I get a bad feeling from the first call, I pass.

[cheerfuldom]

LAST UPDATE

so she finally replies and asks for an interview after they return from vacation.....on a date that I already said I could not accommodate and she wanted an interview during daycare hours which I already said I do not do! my word, its like she does not read or hear what I am saying and keeps pushing for what she wants. I reply back that I could do an interview at X date and X time instead. She replies that she will do the date that works for me but gives me a different time that she will be here, NOT the time I told her. gahhh!

so after all that, I reply back to permanently cancel the interview.

My husband just got notification this morning that his work hours were changing and this was a ready reason to cancel the interview because the change does affect my daycare.

So thank you to everyone for encouraging me to listen to my instinct. I have a hard time doing that even though I am almost always right! LOL

[Rockgirl]

LAST UPDATE

so she finally replies and asks for an interview after they return from vacation.....on a date that I already said I could not accommodate and she wanted an interview during daycare hours which I already said I do not do! my word, its like she does not read or hear what I am saying and keeps pushing for what she wants. I reply back that I could do an interview at X date and X time instead. She replies that she will do the date that works for me but gives me a different time that she will be here, NOT the time I told her. gahhh!

so after all that, I reply back to permanently cancel the interview.

My husband just got notification this morning that his work hours were changing and this was a ready reason to cancel the interview because the change does affect my daycare.

So thank you to everyone for encouraging me to listen to my instinct. I have a hard time doing that even though I am almost always right! LOL

You did the right thing! This mom would try to railroad you on everything!

[TwinKristi]

Yeah I would just count that as a win! LOL She sounds like more time than its worth! I actually had a FTM with a 1yr old who gma provided care for. Mom & gma got a FT job and they needed him to be socialized so I watched him 2 days a week for a few months and then it turned into FT and now back to PT but it ended up being a great situation. Not all FTMs with GMA providers end up being a PITB. I have a 1yr old DCB whos mom is staying home with him starting Sep 30 and I honestly never thought I'd be so happy to see a FT spot go! <hide> But she's seriously a micromanager and its become soooo stressful for me. Sometimes the perfect situation can be easily not so perfect and the problematic situations can be great!

[MarinaVanessa]

I got tired just from reading it. PHEW

[My3cents]

Sounds pretty cut and dry to me.

Normally I would suggest doing the two week trial period but honestly I am already exhausted just reading about her needs/demands.

The urgency of her needs is the MOST off putting about this whole thing. You are right HER lack of planning does NOT constitute an emergency on YOUR part

Honestly, I would probably e-mail her back and just say that you really are a lot more laid back than what she is looking for and you really don't think she is a good fit for what you have going on.

She sounds SUPER high maintenance and although she MAY have the potential to be a good parent once she gets the hang of being part of GROUP care, there are just one too many red flags for me to be positive or hopeful about this situation.

So, after all that....I'd say "Next!"

Group care is what needs to be stressed here to this client. I would possibly try it. I have had great clients from what I thought would be pain in the drain parents. If the red flags are waving in front of you and yelling at you then I would say no, but if you see a few red hurdles then in might be interesting to give it a try depending upon how in need of clients you are-