How Do You Handle Kids That Don't Eat?

[Brooksie]

All my parents pack their kids lunches and I have one little girl here who I've never seen eat a single vegetable or piece of fruit. Today her mom packed her applesauce (which DCM insists she likes because its purple) and mac n cheese. I gave her her applesauce first while the mac n cheese cooled off, hoping she would eat some of that before she filled up on carbs and cheese. She refused to eat it. Here dd is sitting next to her with a plate full of mushrooms and lima beans, just chowing down.

We had a discussion about how our body needs food to grow and be strong and healthy we talked about fruits and vegetables and how it was important to eat well. Finally the mac n cheese cooled and I gave it to her and she ate 1 noodle. So then I told her that she needed to eat her lunch because her body needed food to make energy to play. She hung her head and wouldn't touch her food and I said "A*** I am sorry you're upset but it is lunch time and your body needs you food to make energy so you can play later. Are you going to be able to eat your lunch?" She told me no, so I said if you are not able to sit at the table and eat then you need to go lay on your cot. Please get up and go potty and then go lay down."

As she is sitting on the potty she starts crying. I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn't answer me. Told her again, I am sorry you're upset but the rule here is if you do not eat your lunch you need to go lay down. I gave her another chance and asked her if she wanted to lay down or go eat her lunch and she said lunch. She is now picking at her mac n cheese. This kid is so scrawny. Just skin and bones. Her stool is rock hard from poor diet and I don't know how to get her to eat but at the same time I don't allow kids to mope at the lunch table. I've tried a ton of different ideas to try to get her to eat but she just doesn't. Its driving me crazy.

I just mentioned to DCM earlier this week that I may be joining the food program to be able to advance through the Md EXCELS and she told me she would still pack her lunch because "A**** likes her cheese and stuff".

How do you guys handle the child that doesn't eat at lunch? Do you dismiss them from the table?

:::: She's now pouting at the table because DD cleared her plate of mushrooms, angus hot dogs, lima beans and pretzels and is working on her allergy free chocolate chip cookie (DD is allergic to soy and dairy). Even if mom HAD packed cookies today, no way would I be serving it to her if she's barely eaten anything else.

[lovemylife]

Ah! This situation can be so frustrating! My rule is if you get down and leave the table you are done. You can't force kiddos to eat but you can try and "trick" them. Place something she likes on the end of the spoon and something she doesn't like hidden behind the food she does like. It has worked for me!

Good luck!

[CedarCreek]

Usually, if they won't eat I don't worry too much about it. I just report that they didn't eat their lunch.

But, if you think its really affecting her health (her weight and stools) then I would tell Mom that she needs to consult with her doctor for advice.

I have one that doesn't eat much here and while he is getting better, Mom supplements with pediasure.

[Brooksie]

Ah! This situation can be so frustrating! My rule is if you get down and leave the table you are done. You can't force kiddos to eat but you can try and "trick" them. Place something she likes on the end of the spoon and something she doesn't like hidden behind the food she does like. It has worked for me!

Good luck!

I do that with my little guys but this girl is almost 3. I refuse to spoon feed a 3 year old She does know that she has to eat a good amount to get her dessert but some days she just doesn't eat at all. Like any thing. She will take 2 bites of snack and say she's full. Yesterday we had peanut butter crackers for snack and she asked for peanut butter and then when I gave the to her she cried. I asked her to take a no thank you bite and you should have seen her face when she had the worlds smallest bite on her tongue. So she ate just plain saltines for snack and she only ate maybe half of one.

Doesn't help that dcg had a donut for breakfast this morning. Generally dcm says she wouldn't touch her breakfast. The only days she actually eats breakfast are the donut days. Mom came in this morning and said that dcg at all her breakfast but didn't say what it was. I looked at dcg and said "Oh wow that's great A*** what did you have for breakfast that was so good?" She looked right at me and said "A DONUT!!! I MADE A MESS ahhahahhahhahahhaha!" and bounded off. I looked right at mom. and mom kinda laughed embarrassingly No wonder the child doesn't eat real food.

[crunchymama]

I've been in your situation before with different kids throughout the years, I sympathize. First off, I'd join the food program if I were you. I am on the food program and that little extra money sure can help out! And if every child is being offered the exact same meal it seems to create better eaters. It's your job to offer the food and the childs job to eat it.
Involve the kids in meal planning, grocery shopping, and of course preparing the meals--even just reheating what mom packed.
Most importantly is Don't create a power struggle over food or eating--no negativity about the food, her choices, forcing her to try "just one bite" and no punishment for not eating. Set a timer--15-20 minutes, and when it dings lunch is over. During meal times sit with the kids, try to engage them in conversation unrelated to food, read a book to them. Take the focus off her having to eat. If she eats offer praise, if she doesn't don't mention it.
Send home her leftover food so mom can clearly see what she is/isn't eating.
If her weight gets to a point where you are truly concerned about her health discuss it with parents, recommend peds visit, them and you sign a letter about the convo for your records.

[Brooksie]

I've been in your situation before with different kids throughout the years, I sympathize. First off, I'd join the food program if I were you. I am on the food program and that little extra money sure can help out! And if every child is being offered the exact same meal it seems to create better eaters. It's your job to offer the food and the childs job to eat it.
Involve the kids in meal planning, grocery shopping, and of course preparing the meals--even just reheating what mom packed.
Most importantly is Don't create a power struggle over food or eating--no negativity about the food, her choices, forcing her to try "just one bite" and no punishment for not eating. Set a timer--15-20 minutes, and when it dings lunch is over. During meal times sit with the kids, try to engage them in conversation unrelated to food, read a book to them. Take the focus off her having to eat. If she eats offer praise, if she doesn't don't mention it.
Send home her leftover food so mom can clearly see what she is/isn't eating.
If her weight gets to a point where you are truly concerned about her health discuss it with parents, recommend peds visit, them and you sign a letter about the convo for your records.

See that's what I was going to do but mom just outright said that she would opt out of the program so dcg would still be eating (or NOT eating) the same stuff she has been. How do I get mom on board with it/

[lovemylife]

I do that with my little guys but this girl is almost 3. I refuse to spoon feed a 3 year old

My mistake! I thought she was younger! I wouldn't spoon feed a 3 year old either!!

[Hunni Bee]

See that's what I was going to do but mom just outright said that she would opt out of the program so dcg would still be eating (or NOT eating) the same stuff she has been. How do I get mom on board with it/

She's a jerk. I never will understand why parents feel so strongly about feeding their kid crap, especially when the child is suffering because of it. Just because its marketed for kids doesn't mean they have to or even should eat it.

She isn't eating even the junk now because when you don't take in proper nutrients and eliminate regularly you don't feel well enough to eat sometimes...

I'd ask her to give you two weeks and the dcg still eats nothing once you switch to the food program, she can go back to her crappy lunches.

OR you can say you're going on the food program and are no longer allowing food from home. She may pull, though.

[cheerfuldom]

See that's what I was going to do but mom just outright said that she would opt out of the program so dcg would still be eating (or NOT eating) the same stuff she has been. How do I get mom on board with it/

why can't you insist on your daycare parents participating in the food program or not being a part of your daycare? If I was in the food program, I would absolutely insist all families participate in order to be a part of my group. The rare exception would be a child with allergies or health issue requiring specialized food that the parent needs to provide.

Currently my daycare families provide sack lunches. I have had to tell one family to tone down the junk because they were literally providing boxes of candy, chips, and a little debbie for lunch....it was outrageous. but other than that, the parents are reasonable on lunch selections. I serve the lunch and if a child doesnt eat, I dont care at all. It is a battle you will NOT win. If they choose to go without meals, so be it. I have had several kids in care that went months throwing away most or all of the lunch every day. Not my problem. There is nothing you can do to overcome a daycare families poor eating habits and no sense stressing yourself out trying to convince a three year old to eat.

and I find that once you totally back off the issue with kids, most of the time they will come around and start cooperating with eating.

[Heidi]

See that's what I was going to do but mom just outright said that she would opt out of the program so dcg would still be eating (or NOT eating) the same stuff she has been. How do I get mom on board with it/

I would join the food program and not give the option of opting out after a certain date. Everyone gets the same meals. Add it to your policy manual.

Dear Parents:

Good news! As of xx date, I will be providing all meals. This will give the children the opportunity to try new foods together, and save all of you the headache of sending meals each day. I am very excited about this positive change.

In order to keep things consistent, after this date, I will no longer allow foods from home, other than birthday treats.

-Brooksie

[jenn]

I used to get so upset about kids not eating, especially those that obviously needed to eat (pale, skeleton, tummy troubles). I tried to get them to try fruits and veggies, and it just ended in frustration for me and them.

Maybe I'm too jaded now, but I have given up that fight. Most of the families are not concerned about what their child does/doesn't eat, so why should I get all worked up about it. I can't change the way they parent.

I don't allow any food from home. I serve breakfast, lunch, and 2 snacks. I provide food that meets the nutrition requirements of my state. If they eat, great and if they don't, fine. Some kids actually have started to eat more, as they realize there is no debate about it. You eat it or you don't.

[Play Care]

I used to get so upset about kids not eating, especially those that obviously needed to eat (pale, skeleton, tummy troubles). I tried to get them to try fruits and veggies, and it just ended in frustration for me and them.

Maybe I'm too jaded now, but I have given up that fight. Most of the families are not concerned about what their child does/doesn't eat, so why should I get all worked up about it. I can't change the way they parent.

I don't allow any food from home. I serve breakfast, lunch, and 2 snacks. I provide food that meets the nutrition requirements of my state. If they eat, great and if they don't, fine. Some kids actually have started to eat more, as they realize there is no debate about it. You eat it or you don't.

[Cat Herder]

Meals are stress free.

1. No food from home.

2. I OFFER (that is all I am legally required to do) food then walk away. No discussion, no lectures, feigning disinterest.

3. If they don't eat, they will eat at the next meal.

*** I do all of my new food tasting, experimenting, discussions, vegetable finger puppets, "my plate" visuals, etc. at circle time. If and when I get concerned about growth/development I offer a couple pediasures during the day. 2 = 100% daily nutrition (even the parents nighttime portion). I have not met a kid who wont drink the strawberry flavor, away from their friends, in Mrs. Cat Herders special chair.

[mrsnj]

I don't debate either. I am not on the food program but I provide. I do not allow food from home unless of food allergy or the babies. I will alter a meal (as in leave something off like...dunno....ketchup) but will not change a meal. If they eat thats fine and if not they get nothing else. No treats after lunch etc. AND they are required to at least taste something they have never had. Do not have to like it but at least try it. My kids are normally rather good. I don't have any issues. I have one child who is picky. Mommy allows it. But not me. If he doesn't eat, its his choice. Its there. I don't think he will starve himself. And next time he might think twice.

I wouldn't give an option either. This day we are switching. Lunch will be provided. Done. I do think though if DCM came in able to provide it might have been a deciding factor. So you might have to weigh if the fight is worth it until you transition new clients and current ones age out. KWIM? Here we start off knowing this is what we do. There, you are switching.

[Brooksie]

My only issue is if I do join the food program, the cost and time involved will have to have me raise my rates. I feel like I have to give them the option since I'll be raising their weekly rate $10-15.00