3 Month Old Infant

[craftymissbeth]

I have a 12 week old dcb (my nephew) and I just don't know what to do with him.

He is already rolling from front to back and apparently rolled from back to front during the night and scared dcb and dcd.

We do tummy time several times daily and I also try to either lay a blanket down on his back in the PNP or super yard and let him look at the mobile or mirror.

The problem is that he screams the instant I put him down. Mom and dad co-sleep (they say mostly in one of those cribs that attaches to their bed, but they admit that he sleeps on their chest sometimes also).

He's starting to have issues sleeping here also. He doesn't sleep for more than 30 minutes or so before screaming bloody murder. He seriously goes 0 to I'm Dying in about half a second.

I've done a bit of Internet searching and most of what I read says this is too young to be "spoiled"... all of his needs are met yet if I'm not holding him, he screams. I will not wear him.


Also, other than tummy time are there any other activities I could be doing with him throughout the day?

Any suggestions are welcome!

[Unregistered]

You say you won't wear him. Is there a reason ? He is very young and needs to be held, a lot.

[kelsey's kids]

You could us a baby gym, one of those mats that has toys above for him. My littles love the ones that light up and sing when touched.

[craftymissbeth]

You say you won't wear him. Is there a reason ? He is very young and needs to be held, a lot.

I can't and won't wear any children because my program is geared towards infants and toddlers which means I could have three children under 18 months and 3 children 18 months and older at any given time... it is not feasible for me to do that for all children therefore I cannot do it for any.

With that said, I do agree that baby wearing is beneficial... but not in my environment.

I also forgot to add that they are moving the end of October so I won't have him a whole lot longer.

[craftymissbeth]

You could us a baby gym, one of those mats that has toys above for him. My littles love the ones that light up and sing when touched.

I am using one every once in awhile, but I didn't even realize there are light up/singing ones. Thanks!

[blandino]

IMHO it is unfair to that baby to practice AP techniques at home if they are then sending him to a group care environment where it can't be simulated. How is a baby that young supposed to understand the big difference between styles of care ?

I would begin by telling parents that you provide group care, and that there isn't a way for you to simulate/reinact the parenting style going in at home - which makes the baby confused and suffer. When you put it in those terms, parents are more likely to understand. Hopefully they will be able/willing to work with you on making the transition between home & daycare easier. Don't feel bad/ashamed that you can't care for the child with the 1:1 care that they can at home. You provide group care, not nanny care, and that is what they signed up for. It took me a long time to not want to make apologies for group care not being one on one care.

As far as while he is in care, I would try swaddling him (that usually works for my "hold me, hold me" babies. After that, if you know he is fed, changed, and not hurting then I would just carry in like normal. He will adjust to not constantly being held.

[Cradle2crayons]

IMHO it is unfair to that baby to practice AP techniques at home if they are then sending him to a group care environment where it can't be simulated. How is a baby that young supposed to understand the big difference between styles of care ?

I would begin by telling parents that you provide group care, and that there isn't a way for you to simulate/reinact the parenting style going in at home - which makes the baby confused and suffer. When you put it in those terms, parents are more likely to understand. Hopefully they will be able/willing to work with you on making the transition between home & daycare easier. Don't feel bad/ashamed that you can't care for the child with the 1:1 care that they can at home. You provide group care, not nanny care, and that is what they signed up for. It took me a long time to not want to make apologies for group care not being one on one care.

As far as while he is in care, I would try swaddling him (that usually works for my "hold me, hold me" babies. After that, if you know he is fed, changed, and not hurting then I would just carry in like normal. He will adjust to not constantly being held.

[Lyss]

IMHO it is unfair to that baby to practice AP techniques at home if they are then sending him to a group care environment where it can't be simulated. How is a baby that young supposed to understand the big difference between styles of care ?

I would begin by telling parents that you provide group care, and that there isn't a way for you to simulate/reinact the parenting style going in at home - which makes the baby confused and suffer. When you put it in those terms, parents are more likely to understand. Hopefully they will be able/willing to work with you on making the transition between home & daycare easier. Don't feel bad/ashamed that you can't care for the child with the 1:1 care that they can at home. You provide group care, not nanny care, and that is what they signed up for. It took me a long time to not want to make apologies for group care not being one on one care.

As far as while he is in care, I would try swaddling him (that usually works for my "hold me, hold me" babies. After that, if you know he is fed, changed, and not hurting then I would just carry in like normal. He will adjust to not constantly being held.

I have a screamer too, she's almost 5 months now. They are co-sleepers too, even their 4 year old still sleeps with them, and they hold her 24/7 (I put them on "notice" this week, they have 3 weeks to work on things at home or she's done. I love this family too so it's hard!), so here all she does is scream

Occasionally if I put her in front of the floor mirror I have I can get 5-10 minutes of heavenly quiet while she talks to herself!

[cheerfuldom]

thats a hard one. by the time you can get this issue addressed, they will be gone anyway.....my guess is that mom is nursing to sleep. again, not something you can replicate

[craftymissbeth]

This is my sisters baby and we recently had a big family vacation over Labor Day weekend. It was interesting to see them in action...

Here, he isn't on a schedule, but a pretty decent routine. With them, if he cries he gets a bottle. Every time he cries.

He's done very well previously with Eat, Activity, then Sleep. Before he was born, we all agreed that it was a great way for all of us to have him on the same routine. At some point this stopped at home and I obviously wasn't made aware until I theme hem in action. They give him a bottle so that he'll sleep. I've had him since he was 6 weeks old and he did SO well sleeping until recently.

^ This I guess will be what I need to change while he's here. He's only here such a short time that I'm going to just do what they do.

DCD is extremely against swaddeling (although, shh, I swaddled him a few times not during daycare hours and he slept fantastically) and I'm fairly certain it's against regs here.

BTW, my sister had a home daycare before she went back to work outside the home... it just wasn't for her.

[Heidi]

I can't and won't wear any children because my program is geared towards infants and toddlers which means I could have three children under 18 months and 3 children 18 months and older at any given time... it is not feasible for me to do that for all children therefore I cannot do it for any.

With that said, I do agree that baby wearing is beneficial... but not in my environment.

I also forgot to add that they are moving the end of October so I won't have him a whole lot longer.

You know we think alike (and for the same reasons) on the baby-wearing. I would suggest that since he's temporary, consider a swing. I'm hate them and rarely use contraptions, but this would be a case where you know it's a temporary solution. Borrow one, if you can.

[MNMum]

I wouldn't focus too much on the nighttime co-sleeping as the culprit. I haven't been doing this all that long. But my biggest screamers were not the ones that co-slept. Infact, both of my screamers slept through the night alone, very early. I co-sleep with my own babies (I've had 4), I use a sling for convenience. But I am very intentional about them getting ample floor time, tummy time, etc. If you want to suggest they change something at home I would focus on the daytime routine, and napping in a pack-n-play, even at home.

[craftymissbeth]

Update & New Question

So here's a bit of an update and a new question but still on topic...

He's been sleeping a whole lot better. One of our problems was that I was jumping to console him when he woke up in the middle of a nap instead of simply letting him figure things out a bit. I just wasn't giving him a chance.


New question is this...

He's only 3 months old, but while he's trying to get to sleep he rolls onto his stomach and then cries. He is able to flip back over, but is nowhere near mastering that. After a minute or two he's fine and falls asleep. Licensing says that babies under 12 months should be put to sleep on his back (which he is) and then if they roll over to get comfortable to leave him. I'm extremely particular about babies and sleep so him sleeping on his tummy so early is basically freaking me out. He has ok head control, but it's not enough to make me feel comfortable.

Do I allow him to sleep this way or flip him over before/after he falls asleep? I do not want him getting used to sleeping on his tummy and then freak out when he wakes up on his back mid-nap, though. I'm sure I'm way over thinking this

[Patches]

So here's a bit of an update and a new question but still on topic...

He's been sleeping a whole lot better. One of our problems was that I was jumping to console him when he woke up in the middle of a nap instead of simply letting him figure things out a bit. I just wasn't giving him a chance.


New question is this...

He's only 3 months old, but while he's trying to get to sleep he rolls onto his stomach and then cries. He is able to flip back over, but is nowhere near mastering that. After a minute or two he's fine and falls asleep. Licensing says that babies under 12 months should be put to sleep on his back (which he is) and then if they roll over to get comfortable to leave him. I'm extremely particular about babies and sleep so him sleeping on his tummy so early is basically freaking me out. He has ok head control, but it's not enough to make me feel comfortable.

Do I allow him to sleep this way or flip him over before/after he falls asleep? I do not want him getting used to sleeping on his tummy and then freak out when he wakes up on his back mid-nap, though. I'm sure I'm way over thinking this

Personally, I would leave him on his tummy. He must be comfortable that way to fall asleep like that. Just keep checking on him to make sure everthing's ok.

[MyAngels]

I never let a baby sleep on their tummy until they can reliably, under their own power, roll from front to back and back to front. I just don't think the possible consequences are worth the risk. It's a pain to keep flipping them back over sometimes, but worth the peace of mind to me.