20 Month-Old Trouble Maker

[MsLaura529]

One of my newer DCBs (20 months, he has been here for 3 weeks, only 2 days each week, starting full-time next week) has started to cause trouble among the other kids. He will go up to whatever they are playing with, stare them down, and then pull (or attempt to) the toy out of their hands. Then he runs to the other side of the room holding it and looking at whoever he just took the toy from.

I tried many times stop it before it happened (when I realized what he was actually doing) as soon as I saw the stare-down, I would say, "DCB, so and so is playing with that toy right now. Why don't we find another one for you to play with?" Sometime he would come over to me then while I brought his attention back to the toy he had been playing with originally, or he would completely ignore me and continue to take the toy.

He's not a talker (he says the same 3 words over and over and over again all day), so I can't get him to "use your words" like I do with my older DCKs. He does not sit still for ANYTHING so a time-out situation wouldn't work (and I don't think he would understand it at all anyways) ... Any tips on what I could try with him? It's like he's getting a thrill out of getting the other kids worked up about it. He also does it when they're building block towers. I even gave him his own box of blocks to build and knock over and praised him many times when he built his own small tower to knock down. Then he went right over to another DCG's tower and pushed it down, while looking at me to see me watch him do it!

[melilley]

One of my newer DCBs (20 months, he has been here for 3 weeks, only 2 days each week, starting full-time next week) has started to cause trouble among the other kids. He will go up to whatever they are playing with, stare them down, and then pull (or attempt to) the toy out of their hands. Then he runs to the other side of the room holding it and looking at whoever he just took the toy from.

I tried many times stop it before it happened (when I realized what he was actually doing) as soon as I saw the stare-down, I would say, "DCB, so and so is playing with that toy right now. Why don't we find another one for you to play with?" Sometime he would come over to me then while I brought his attention back to the toy he had been playing with originally, or he would completely ignore me and continue to take the toy.

He's not a talker (he says the same 3 words over and over and over again all day), so I can't get him to "use your words" like I do with my older DCKs. He does not sit still for ANYTHING so a time-out situation wouldn't work (and I don't think he would understand it at all anyways) ... Any tips on what I could try with him? It's like he's getting a thrill out of getting the other kids worked up about it. He also does it when they're building block towers. I even gave him his own box of blocks to build and knock over and praised him many times when he built his own small tower to knock down. Then he went right over to another DCG's tower and pushed it down, while looking at me to see me watch him do it!

I have a child like that who is 23 months. He will look right at me and do whatever he wants to do. Plus mine hits, pulls hair sometimes, throws fits, etc... It has to be the age! My dcb doesn't talk either. When he does something, I tell him what he did and tell him to go find another toy, use nice touches, whatever correspondes (sp?) to what he is doing. As a last resort I do have to have him sit by himself to calm down and he actually does it! Other than that, I am also at a loss of what to do! The responses to your post will be interesting!

[Heidi]

It's the age for sure. Just keep doing what you're doing, plus add positive reinforcement as much as possible. "DCB, you are building your own block tower all by yourself. I like that!" etc.

Also acknowledging the "I know you want to play with that...but so-and-so is using it".

Once you notice that the other child is done, point it out casually. "Hey, dcb, I see so-and-so is done with that truck. Do you want a turn now?"

It will just take a while, I'm afraid. You can also reinforce it with some sort of taking-turns game at circle time, and ask the parents to make a big deal out of "taking turns" at home. They can take turns eating animal crackers, hugging a stuffed animal, or whatever.

[Unregistered]

Normal behavior for his age. My son is 19 months and he recently started taking toys too. He doesn't do the stare down thou. He has figured out from another child how to roll his eyes, or stare off into the distance almost like he is trying to be invisible so I can't see him
In my state, children under 2 are not allowed in time out. If we did we would be in deep water. At this age the best thing is constant positive reinforcement. If child takes a toy from anther child take it away and give it back to the other child. Then tell the toddler no no we don't take toys from our friends and give them a different toy. It's a lot of work! I have had a lot of success with it in the past with daycare children the same age. It can be exhausting but nipping it in the bud at this age is much better than trying to correct the behavior when they are 3,4,5 and so on.
Good luck!

[Play Care]

It's the age for sure. Just keep doing what you're doing, plus add positive reinforcement as much as possible. "DCB, you are building your own block tower all by yourself. I like that!" etc.

Also acknowledging the "I know you want to play with that...but so-and-so is using it".

Once you notice that the other child is done, point it out casually. "Hey, dcb, I see so-and-so is done with that truck. Do you want a turn now?"

It will just take a while, I'm afraid. You can also reinforce it with some sort of taking-turns game at circle time, and ask the parents to make a big deal out of "taking turns" at home. They can take turns eating animal crackers, hugging a stuffed animal, or whatever.