Potty Training Regression

[Brooksie]

I have an (almost) 3 year old girl here who has been potty training with me for the past 2 months and a little bit longer with her mom. She was doing wonderfully and never had accidents. We were using charts to mark every time she went potty (10 stars on each chart) and she was filling one up daily so we switched to her getting a star every day she stayed dry, when she fills up the chart she can come in underwear. She was 8 days dry (even during nap) and only has 2 days left before she was done with her chart. Yesterday she only went on the potty 3 times even though she sat on it many more than that. She did stay dry and got a sticker but normally she goes a lot more than that and is very eager to go potty. Today she sat on the potty for probably 10 minutes (not uncommon for her) but when she got up she hadn't gone. 10 minutes later she stated she had a wet pull up. When I asked her why she didn't use her words she said she was playing (never been a problem before).

Her mom was talking to me yesterday when I told her she barely used the potty she mentioned that she was almost potty trained in March but then her and dcgs dad split up and she regressed. Lately he has not been picking her up or taking her on his weekends and dcg is noticeably upset about it and definitely picking up on it. She's a lot more sensitive and randomly cries for her daddy. He was supposed to pick her up yesterday and overslept during his nap and never came to get her. DCM was halfway home and had to turn around and barely picked her up on time.

Any suggestions as to how to help this girl? She's been doing great with the training but I feel like the regression has a lot to do with this emotional stress she has going on. I ask her all day long if she has to potty or if she will sit on the potty and she does but doesn't go. I was so surprised this morning when she sat for so long and then almost immediately peed in her pants.. Any one dealt with this before?

[cheerfuldom]

There is nothing you can do.

Are you really taking her 10 times a day? was I reading that right? At this point, I think she needs to be initiating pottying. I take the group for pottying and diaper changes before and after lunch and besides that, the potty training kids need to let me know if they have to go. Leave her in pull ups and back off the training for a bit and see if she can step up and initiate on her own. It sounds like you and mom are the ones that are trained, not her.

[Brooksie]

There is nothing you can do.

Are you really taking her 10 times a day? was I reading that right? At this point, I think she needs to be initiating pottying. I take the group for pottying and diaper changes before and after lunch and besides that, the potty training kids need to let me know if they have to go. Leave her in pull ups and back off the training for a bit and see if she can step up and initiate on her own. It sounds like you and mom are the ones that are trained, not her.

We use a toddler potty and its available to them whenever they need to use it. SHE initiates it 10 times a day. Not me. I just remind them every hour or so if they need to use it (my daughter is also training but not quite at the point she was at) and needs the reminder. She was going to sit on the potty sometimes 2x and hour. I mean she was almost overly enthusiastic about it.

[Blackcat31]

We use a toddler potty and its available to them whenever they need to use it. SHE initiates it 10 times a day. Not me. I just remind them every hour or so if they need to use it (my daughter is also training but not quite at the point she was at) and needs the reminder. She was going to sit on the potty sometimes 2x and hour. I mean she was almost overly enthusiastic about it.

Not to burst mom's (or your) bubble but the over enthusiasm is more than likely due to receiving a reward, NOT because she fully understands needing to use the toilet....kwim?

I am sure I could be wrong as each child is different but honestly in MOST cases, "overly enthusiastic" on the child's behalf is due to them receiving something for doing something.

With all the change in her family life right now, she may be looking for any type of "reward" or praise she can get.

I'd just back off a but and let her tell you when she needs to go.

[Willow]

We use a toddler potty and its available to them whenever they need to use it. SHE initiates it 10 times a day. Not me. I just remind them every hour or so if they need to use it (my daughter is also training but not quite at the point she was at) and needs the reminder. She was going to sit on the potty sometimes 2x and hour. I mean she was almost overly enthusiastic about it.

Regression is super typical when training is parent initiated. No child is going to choose to sit 20 minutes out of an hour on the pot as opposed to playing unless there is some pretty impressive pressure/incentives/emotional ploys going on.

I wouldn't say a word to the child. I'd insist mom put her back in diapers with zero shaming and let her know that when she's ready for underwear again she can show that by staying dry.

[Willow]

Not to burst mom's (or your) bubble but the over enthusiasm is more than likely due to receiving a reward, NOT because she fully understands needing to use the toilet....kwim?

I am sure I could be wrong as each child is different but honestly in MOST cases, "overly enthusiastic" on the child's behalf is due to them receiving something for doing something.

With all the change in her family life right now, she may be looking for any type of "reward" or praise she can get.

I'd just back off a but and let her tell you when she needs to go.

[Brooksie]

Not to burst mom's (or your) bubble but the over enthusiasm is more than likely due to receiving a reward, NOT because she fully understands needing to use the toilet....kwim?

I am sure I could be wrong as each child is different but honestly in MOST cases, "overly enthusiastic" on the child's behalf is due to them receiving something for doing something.

With all the change in her family life right now, she may be looking for any type of "reward" or praise she can get.

I'd just back off a but and let her tell you when she needs to go.

That's why I switched to her getting one reward sticker at the end of the day for being dry all day. She still told me she needed to go that often when we switched 2 weeks ago. With this girl she does tell me every time. I'm not asking her, she goes on her own. My concern was that she was doing to well (was not in any way being pressured) but now is peeing in her pull up even after she gets off the potty (which again was her initiating going to the bathroom). She is not shamed after she pees in her diaper, but then again it barely ever happens. DCM is very supportive. This child is not being told to pee or poop in the potty. This has been 100% initiated by DCG for the past few weeks. Since SHE was doing so good on her own I was so surprised that she is regressing. And she is still in pull ups. Not underwear. But she WAS 2 days away from being allowed to come in pull ups because she WAS initiating going potty so well that she has been 100% dry for the past 8 days. I guess I wasn't clear on my OP.

[Play Care]

That's why I switched to her getting one reward sticker at the end of the day for being dry all day. She still told me she needed to go that often when we switched 2 weeks ago. With this girl she does tell me every time. I'm not asking her, she goes on her own. My concern was that she was doing to well (was not in any way being pressured) but now is peeing in her pull up even after she gets off the potty (which again was her initiating going to the bathroom). She is not shamed after she pees in her diaper, but then again it barely ever happens. DCM is very supportive. This child is not being told to pee or poop in the potty. This has been 100% initiated by DCG for the past few weeks. Since SHE was doing so good on her own I was so surprised that she is regressing. And she is still in pull ups. Not underwear. But she WAS 2 days away from being allowed to come in pull ups because she WAS initiating going potty so well that she has been 100% dry for the past 8 days. I guess I wasn't clear on my OP.

I have found that with my potty trained kids they typically regress a few week sor a month or two after having continuous potty success. I usually attribute it to becoming overly confident in their "holding" abilities but usually a couple days of gentle reminders gets them back on track. However I did have a similar issue to you with my now 3 yo potty trained girl. In this case Dad was determined to be done with diapers and really pressed the issue (I don't know that I realized just how much until after the fact) she also does really well but still has way more accidents then any other child I've had in my care. When I tried gentle reminders with her she would sit but not go only to have an "accident" a few minutes later. I stopped saying anything to her about it even gentle reminders like "why didn't tell me?" or "you know you can just go and use the potty" and just had her change her pull up. I have found its gotten much better on its own. Good luck!

[Brooksie]

I have found that with my potty trained kids they typically regress a few week sor a month or two after having continuous potty success. I usually attribute it to becoming overly confident in their "holding" abilities but usually a couple days of gentle reminders gets them back on track. However I did have a similar issue to you with my now 3 yo potty trained girl. In this case Dad was determined to be done with diapers and really pressed the issue (I don't know that I realized just how much until after the fact) she also does really well but still has way more accidents then any other child I've had in my care. When I tried gentle reminders with her she would sit but not go only to have an "accident" a few minutes later. I stopped saying anything to her about it even gentle reminders like "why didn't tell me?" or "you know you can just go and use the potty" and just had her change her pull up. I have found its gotten much better on its own. Good luck!

Thanks. I think I'll try that, Hopefully its just a minor set back and she can get back on track.